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AIBU?

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Original poster

Why are women much nicer than men?

135 replies

somewhereintheworld · 29/09/2025 08:00

Last night my OH snapped at me for something trivial and hurt my feelings. I find this totally disrespectful and I would never do that to him. This was about 10 hours ago and I'm still upset. I read on this site regularly about men who treat women appallingly. For example, cheating on them, physically abusing them, not helping with child care/household tasks, staying out all night, getting drunk, taking drugs etc. The list goes on. I appreciate there's some horrible women out there as well, but I think they're in the minority. I also appreciate that not all men are like this. Why do the ones I've described act like this? Is it the testosterone? Is it because they can get away with it? Is it because some women are reliant on them financially? I think as a species women are definitely nicer than men and don't disrespect them in the same way. Not really sure this is an AIBU but just wanted opinions.

OP posts:
Dearg · 29/09/2025 08:12

Your husband snapped at you, and you’re postulating that this is evidence that women are nicer than men?

You mention cheating, abuse, ducking out of childcare - is this your husband’s behaviour? If so, then it’s understandable you are upset.

Otherwise, go and talk to your DH and clear the air. It’s not good for your mental health to hang on to your anger about some harsh words.

Curiossir · 29/09/2025 08:11

in my experience, women are not nicer than men.

FlyingUnicornWings · 29/09/2025 08:10

A very sweeping generalisation.

SunnySideDeepDown · 29/09/2025 08:10

Also - just looking on mumsnet you’ll see there are lots of nice posters but also a lot of mean and unkind posters. Majority are women.

Uggbootsforever · 29/09/2025 08:10

Well men commit most of the violent crime, so there is that. And yes I also find them more selfish and less considerate on a daily basis.

It’s a mix of societal expectation along with inherent sex characteristic in my opinion.

SunnySideDeepDown · 29/09/2025 08:09

Not all women are nicer in relationships, they’re better communicators though and when they’re upset/annoyed, we rarely turn to violence unlike men. But women can and do say very cutting things and I’d say can be controlling in more subtle ways.

Socially, outside of intimate relationships, I’d say men are nicer on the whole.

But everyone’s different. Why don’t you sit down with your husband and talk it through. I’ve been with my husband 20yrs, we’ve both snapped at each other hundreds of times. I thought that was normal? We’re also kind other times. It’s normal to have ups and downs in relationships as long as no one is actively mean to each other.

PollyBell · 29/09/2025 08:08

How do you know women are nicer? Going on what evidence?

HedwigEliza · 29/09/2025 08:07

They’re not. Women are more manipulative, two faced and bitchy.

Agix · 29/09/2025 08:06

Women are socialised to be nicer than men. It's expected of us. There's harsher consequences if we're found to be horrible.

tiredangry · 29/09/2025 08:04

Women aren’t nicer than men. It’s just more obvious when men are behaving badly. Women who behave badly are more likely to be manipulative, where are men who behave badly will just have an outburst.