Why are women much nicer than men?

Men can be decent, or not.
Women can be decent, or not.
It doesn't help to generalise - while I realise some women have suffered horribly at the hands of 'men' (inverted commas because some don't deserve to be called men), most of the particularly unpleasant and unkind people in my life so far have been women.

Well we have oestrogen, they have testosterone!! Also we talk and get our shit out, they bottle up!! Also as someone who works on a roll in a supermarket, women can be as snappy as men (generally actually when they’re speaking to their partners!!)

Do you actually read your comments before posting? So you admit that you are generalising based on a minuscule sample and letting your feelings affect your judgement. And right after that, you double down on your view even though you just acknowledged you are not being impartial!
If you are always this obstinate it's no wonder your husband may lose his rag eventually! Have a word with yourself, lovely.

😂

Women are not kinder than men in my experience. People behave differently with different people, I can guarantee my ex sil did not treat her brothers in the same manner she spoke to me, my dad and ex still won’t accept some of the comments made to me by their in-laws / spouse. I don’t agree with generalisations however I’ve never found men to be conniving or manipulative as I have women in my family and work, men are just basic and present as either straight up dicks or straight up lovely.

I do think that girls have been conditioned from a young age to be people pleasers, to be nice, to not be “too much” Boys have been allowed from a young age to get away with bad behaviour “boys will be boys” and we are still recovering from the toxic masculinity of the nineties/2000s.

I don’t think women are naturally nicer, some are nasty and vile just like some men. Women do communicate better whereas men are encouraged to suppress their emotions leading to violence and poor mental health.

JC I’ve had a far too many men 😂 they’ve all been a big fat disappointment. If you have a man I dare you to post his social media handles and not tell him you’ve done it, I reckon you’ll be filing for divorce within a year! My opinion, I’m allowed it.

Well, women are nicer than men in my experience. Particularly at the extremes (it doesn't tend to be women who are engaging in random antisocial behaviour on the streets) but in ordinary contexts too, though I suspect a lot of ordinary male rudeness isn't really intended.

But women are very capable of being not-nice in the context of close relationships, and even on here you'll see lots of threads about it. Mothers-in-law seem to be particularly prone to unpleasantness, if this site is anything to go by.

I know far more horrible women than I do Men.

The women I know who are horrible are devious, sly, spiteful, vindictive, bitchy. The type who would happily ruin people’s entire lives if you get in their way or don’t do as you are told. I’m related to them through birth and marriage and also live next door to one so there isn’t an escape from them!

The happiest friendships I had were with boys/men.

Speak for yourself and the awful women you clearly surround yourself with. My friends and I are none of those things!

This. Men and women are equally capable of being unkind, vindictive, spiteful and insensitive.

The difference is that women, from a young age, are socialised to be “nice” to be socially accepted. Men aren’t. I’m not justifying your husband’s behaviour because it sounds like he’s been a nob (and this is a whole other post). But its much more socially acceptable for a man to say this than a woman.

Incidentally, I am not sure “nice” is a particularly relevant bellwether. Being “nice” tells you nothing about someone’s character, morals or integrity. It just tells you they have learned the rules of play. “Nice” and good are not the same thing. And “nice” is much more a feminine trait than a masculine one.

Actually now I come to think of it.

People regularly start threads on MN stating how mean/nasty most people are on here, especially in AIBU.

Yet this is a predominantly female website.

It's likely because women have a the innate biological characteristics to care for infants, so being more aware to the sence of danger and needs that they have will be natural.

Same. My mil is so anti-women, definitely not of the sisterhood.

Lucky you. I've come across bitchy women in many different workplaces. Some of the most unpleasant people I've ever met have been women, including a couple of previous bosses.

And I have worked in offices and schools and never personally encountered any bitchiness from other women.

I wonder if your bias made you blind to it?

My DH is the kindest, gentlest creature to walk this Earth.

I am a crotchety old hag.

I don't know if women are nicer than men, that's subjective and in my personal life most people are fortunately nice enough.
But I'll take nasty words from women over physical violence from men any day of the week. There's just no comparison.

There are also double standards. As someone mentioned up thread, women are allowed to be volatile and rude due to thick stoopid men not understanding pregnancy/hormones/periods/menopause. Women still regularly slap mens faces in soaps and films when angry/cheated on etc and it's not a "thing". If a man smacked his wife on EastEnders post cheating revelation, it a) just wouldn't happen unless they were being portrayed as a wife beater. And b) police would be called etc.

I think in general we're all less tolerant of sex differences and feel entitled to American/counsellor style conversations and expectations of our husbands and wives.

Think we just need to cut each other some slack and lower expectations back down to 'realistic' else the divorce rate will just keep skyrocketing until everyone chooses to be politically gay.

Men can be very entitled and get away with more than women. They can be harsher, angrier and more demanding at work and get respected. If I tried even a fraction of it, I'd be asked if my mental health was ok !?

That said, I find women worse as a rule. Women can be more two faced, bitchy, passive aggressive and jealous of other women. Yes Mil: I'm looking at you with all your fawning over anything with a penis whilst tearing down your fellow females - you horrible cow !

Men will tell you very plainly if they have a problem. Women will smile a saccharine sweet grin and then pull the knives out behind your back.

"One man didn't treat me particularly well therefore almost all men are dirt."

Not really interested in comparing the 2 sites to be honest, the way men get described on here, I have never experienced it in real life.

Because women still marry them and put up with it. So many men on Mumsnet are fucking absolute losers. The men I know aren't horrible, mean ,lazy, can't pronounce 'th' etc.

This.