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AIBU?

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Original poster

Why are women much nicer than men?

135 replies

somewhereintheworld · 29/09/2025 08:00

Last night my OH snapped at me for something trivial and hurt my feelings. I find this totally disrespectful and I would never do that to him. This was about 10 hours ago and I'm still upset. I read on this site regularly about men who treat women appallingly. For example, cheating on them, physically abusing them, not helping with child care/household tasks, staying out all night, getting drunk, taking drugs etc. The list goes on. I appreciate there's some horrible women out there as well, but I think they're in the minority. I also appreciate that not all men are like this. Why do the ones I've described act like this? Is it the testosterone? Is it because they can get away with it? Is it because some women are reliant on them financially? I think as a species women are definitely nicer than men and don't disrespect them in the same way. Not really sure this is an AIBU but just wanted opinions.

OP posts:
Bologneselove · 29/09/2025 19:55

Women aren’t ’better’ than men. You’re comparing based on comments made on a site targeting women so your answers aren’t reflective of society.

CountryShepherd · 29/09/2025 19:09

Constellar1 · 29/09/2025 09:45

I disagree with the idea that men are more prone to violence in the relationship. In fact, women commit more domestic violence than men do. Yes, I know women report DV more often than men, but the fact remains that women commit the lions share of violent acts in a relationship. PROOF: as a woman, ask yourself this: how often have you thrown a pan or plate at your man, thrown a newspaper or book at him, kicked your man, or even slapped your man? Okay, now answer this: how many times has your man ever done the same to you?
I rest my case...

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Excuse me?? This is utterly bizarre!

I think I've raised my voice two or three times in two decades and shouted once. But I was sorely provoked...

GasperyJacquesRoberts · 29/09/2025 18:46

Mistyglade · 29/09/2025 18:32

Perhaps query it with the author.

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The thread had moved on a bit and I was querying the author of claim that I was being unnecessarily unkind. Which was you.

So what do you think - is it more unkind to suggest someone's own behaviour may have played a part in the failures of their relationships, or to use a dehumanizing and offensive term about a whole class of people?

Moveoverdarlin · 29/09/2025 18:33

You’ve never snapped at your husband for something trivial??? Really? Fuck me. You should try it. It’s good for the soul.

Mistyglade · 29/09/2025 18:32

GasperyJacquesRoberts · 29/09/2025 18:03

Sure. Here:

Dishwater · Today 10:12
"[...]I never hear a man complain that his wife snapped at him! [...] I’m in a relationship by the way but I genuinely think they’re almost all dirt"

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Perhaps query it with the author.

SteakBakesAndHotTakes · 29/09/2025 18:29

The fact that you asked this question on this forum!! You're painting with a broad brush

Cinaferna · 29/09/2025 18:26

MyDeftHedgehog · 29/09/2025 12:14

In my long working life I have had male managers and female managers.
I found the males far less toxic than the females.
Give me a male boss any day !!

I've had both. The best bosses by far were women - kind, thoughtful, incredibly hard-working, superb ethic and care for staff and clients. The worst by far was also a woman. The men were usually lazy, complacent and promoted way above their ability.

ExpressCheckout · 29/09/2025 18:26

Uggbootsforever · 29/09/2025 10:05

I think women have a greater capacity to be emotionally cruel or cunning, whereas men have a greater capacity to be violent or selfish. There’s lots of types of ‘nasty’ and I think the sexes cluster toward different types.

Generally the worst women I’ve known have been extremely cunning, always plotting scenarios that work out best for them but worse for other people, usually through jealousy. The worst men have been violent, usually addicted to drugs or alcohol and utterly feckless when it comes to their children.

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Yep, I'd agree with your analysis here.

GasperyJacquesRoberts · 29/09/2025 18:03

Mistyglade · 29/09/2025 12:36

Show me where it says that here please?

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Sure. Here:

Dishwater · Today 10:12
"[...]I never hear a man complain that his wife snapped at him! [...] I’m in a relationship by the way but I genuinely think they’re almost all dirt"

Cinaferna · 29/09/2025 17:03

tiredangry · 29/09/2025 08:04

Women aren’t nicer than men. It’s just more obvious when men are behaving badly. Women who behave badly are more likely to be manipulative, where are men who behave badly will just have an outburst.

No, generally we really are. We tend not to start as many fights, let alone wars. We don't kill anywhere near as many spouses, parents or strangers. We rarely sexually abuse minors or other adults. We are less obsessed with power at all costs. We tend not to abandon our children when domestic life gets boring.

We may be bitchy, ostracise people, scream at family, which is definitely a form of abuse, but generally we don't terrorise, brutalise and end lives for our own kicks nearly as often as men. No comparison.

SunnySideDeepDown · 29/09/2025 16:13

Constellar1 · 29/09/2025 09:45

I disagree with the idea that men are more prone to violence in the relationship. In fact, women commit more domestic violence than men do. Yes, I know women report DV more often than men, but the fact remains that women commit the lions share of violent acts in a relationship. PROOF: as a woman, ask yourself this: how often have you thrown a pan or plate at your man, thrown a newspaper or book at him, kicked your man, or even slapped your man? Okay, now answer this: how many times has your man ever done the same to you?
I rest my case...

Show quote history

Never, genuinely. But I’m lucky that my husband hasn’t either.

Im pretty sure the stats show different to your questionable “proof”.

CinnamonBuns67 · 29/09/2025 14:18

Are they? The worst people I've met are women. Personally out of the top 10 worst people I've met 8 of those are women and 2 of them are men. Some people are just nasty arseholes nothing to do with gender.

Worriedalltheday · 29/09/2025 14:15

tiredangry · 29/09/2025 08:04

Women aren’t nicer than men. It’s just more obvious when men are behaving badly. Women who behave badly are more likely to be manipulative, where are men who behave badly will just have an outburst.

Brilliantly put. Women are more conniving, manipulative and calculating. I have had the worst experiences in my life work, family and friendships with all women. I find men far nicer.

SnoopyPajamas · 29/09/2025 14:03

We're conditioned to fawn as a survival reflex. Throughout history, women have also had to learn to get along with others more, because you can't survive as a lone wolf if you're physically weaker and if you've got children in tow.

LondonLady1980 · 29/09/2025 13:44

Women are less violent, aggressive, threatening and menacing than men.

But in other ways they can be quite horrible at times.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 29/09/2025 13:42

CandyRibbon · 29/09/2025 09:41

Not saying that, simply saying there are plenty of nasty women around and the nastiest person I’ve ever known is a woman.

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Me too! The only person, male or female, that I’ve ever really loathed - she’s pure poison.

Springtimehere · 29/09/2025 12:37

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Mistyglade · 29/09/2025 12:36

GasperyJacquesRoberts · 29/09/2025 12:30

More or less unkind than saying that almost all men are dirt?

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Show me where it says that here please?

GasperyJacquesRoberts · 29/09/2025 12:30

Mistyglade · 29/09/2025 12:22

Unnecessarily unkind, smelling strong irony considering the topic of this thread.

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More or less unkind than saying that almost all men are dirt?

Mistyglade · 29/09/2025 12:22

GasperyJacquesRoberts · 29/09/2025 12:06

Ah right, so you've had loads of relationships all of which have been shitty. Ever considered that the common denominator might be you?

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Unnecessarily unkind, smelling strong irony considering the topic of this thread.

HedwigEliza · 29/09/2025 12:17

SomeLikeitSnot · 29/09/2025 11:10

Speak for yourself and the awful women you clearly surround yourself with. My friends and I are none of those things!

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Proving my point for me 😄

Dishwater · 29/09/2025 12:17

GasperyJacquesRoberts · 29/09/2025 12:06

Ah right, so you've had loads of relationships all of which have been shitty. Ever considered that the common denominator might be you?

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Definitely not me. You won’t make me change my mind about men or insecure about myself sorry. Nice chatting anyway, have a great day.

MyDeftHedgehog · 29/09/2025 12:14

In my long working life I have had male managers and female managers.
I found the males far less toxic than the females.
Give me a male boss any day !!

GasperyJacquesRoberts · 29/09/2025 12:06

Dishwater · 29/09/2025 11:31

JC I’ve had a far too many men 😂 they’ve all been a big fat disappointment. If you have a man I dare you to post his social media handles and not tell him you’ve done it, I reckon you’ll be filing for divorce within a year! My opinion, I’m allowed it.

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Ah right, so you've had loads of relationships all of which have been shitty. Ever considered that the common denominator might be you?

InterestPiqued · 29/09/2025 11:50

What a puerile, simplistic opinion you have of people, OP.

Women are not nicer than men. Niceness is not a personality trait exclusive to women. In my experience, most people, male and female, are very nice indeed.

You happen to have had the misfortune to get involved with someone who is horrible. Don’t let that fact make you narrow minded. People post on here because often there’s a problem. If the majority of us who have wonderful, kind husbands posted about that instead, it would be a strange place.