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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To say DH needs to stay home next weekend?

162 replies

Mediocrewife · 28/09/2025 21:52

Arguing with DH. He's come back from his hobby and told me he's away hillwalking next weekend. No discussion which is not like him. Just I'm away with my friends for the whole day. Again.
The last two weekends he's been away for most of both days doing sporty thing/hobby, weekend after next he's away training for his work. Weekend after that he's something else on again.
So next weekend I was actually looking forward to having some help and time with him.I've broken my arm and its still really sore so I've been struggling with housework, running around and picking up kids and looking after our dogs. He's just got a new dog so more work.
Except its me whose bloody doing the work. Or it feels like it! I'm bloody knackered! I need a bit of help!
I've had no time to do any of the billing for my business this weekend or clean my van or you know.....relax! I'm supposed to be resting my arm.

Probably being unreasonable but I'm sore and tired and cannot see a compromise. He's not usually like this.

OP posts:
Tiswa · 28/09/2025 22:04

He is leaving the new dog he wanted and you worry you are being unreasonable

nope and you need to tell him that

stomachamelon · 28/09/2025 22:02

You are a much better person than I. I would have blown my stack way before now! Just say no. I can’t manage. Not, do you mind? I bloody mind for you…. Ffs!!

SALaw · 28/09/2025 22:00

Jesus just tell him no can do, you’ve broken your arm for god’s sake and he needs to stay home?!

JoeySchoolOfActing · 28/09/2025 21:59

Pretty gobsmacked you think YA probably BU.

You've got a broken arm, kids to look after, a business to run, a house to deal with plus dogs to care for.

He is away weekend after weekend with his hobby and once for work. He is not looking after his kids, his house, his dogs or caring for his wife who has a broken arm.

He hasn't discussed the next trip with you but has told you he is going.

Then he is arguing with you when you protest.

He sounds like a total shit.

SwingTheMonkey · 28/09/2025 21:58

Not a chance in hell I’d put up with this.

Mrspatmoresapprentice · 28/09/2025 21:58

I will admit to being a complete cynic, but is he really “hill walking”? Especially if this is unusual behavior for him?
We both have seperate hobbies that we enjoy but if I had a broken arm? DH wouldn’t dream of leaving me to it.

PhilosophicalCheeseSandwich · 28/09/2025 21:58

YANBU. He doesn't get to opt out of home life because it's the weekend.

Mintearo7 · 28/09/2025 21:58

That’s ridiculous. He needs a reality check.

Beekman · 28/09/2025 21:56

It’s good that your DH has friends and hobbies, no one wants a partner who has neither, but he also has a family and it is not unreasonable to expect him to spend most of the weekend with you and the kids. Can you negotiate with him about the amount of time he spends doing his own stuff? Come to some sort of agreement about what’s acceptable to you both?

PersephoneParlormaid · 28/09/2025 21:55

No, no, no. You get equal days off. Make sure you take them.

cadburyegg · 28/09/2025 21:55

You’ve broken your arm, got kids and dogs to look after and he’s going off every chance he gets to do his hobbies and hanging out with his mates? Fuck that. He needs to be at home almost all of the time right now imo.

Mondayblues2 · 28/09/2025 21:54

He needs to spend some time at home. YANBU