To say DH needs to stay home next weekend?

Exactly. Women need to watch men’s actions carefully because often men don’t leave until they’re ready. They are happy to enjoy the convenience of the relationship, until it suits them, but in the meantime they will show you exactly how they feel about you by their actions and how they treat you. Too many women are living with men who dislike them and they don’t even realise - it’s a shame.

No, she is right and he is wrong (unless there’s a massive drip feed coming) it’s ok to call things as they are.

How can a man not know leaving his wife with a broken arm who is in pain and doesn’t have her usual mobility alone to manage, without asking her permission first is ok? Especially when he was the one who recently got a new dog. Even if she agreed to it you’d think a decent man wouldn’t want to go off yet another weekend and spend time with his wife who needs him to pitch in and do his share!

It doesn’t matter how stressed he is at work or with life - he should still be decent enough to shoulder his own responsibilities and not drop everything upon his wife’s back causing her more stress.

As an adult with responsibilities you can’t just go full selfish and show zero consideration for the person you’re meant to love most when you’re feeling stressed.

You're not being unreasonable OP. You literally can't do everything while he's away every weekend. You need to rest to get better.

This is exactly what I was thinking. I wouldn’t want to see him or be near him ever again. Honestly I’m not part of the LTB crew but this level of selfishness and disregard for me, from my husband would be too much.

So you have a broken my arm which you're supposed to be resting. You're struggling with housework, running around and picking up kids and looking after your dogs including "his" new dog. You've had no time to do any of the billing for your business this weekend or clean your van. He is planning to be away for five weekends - at least for one day this time- in a row. No, you are not being unreasonable - he is. To be honest, I'd be wondering if somebody had caught his eye at the hobby or hillwalking group but I am probably just old and cynical. He could simply be skiving off his responsibilities as a husband and father. I would be incandescent if my husband left me to struggle through all this stuff with a painful broken arm while he was off indulging in his hobbies. My husband loves golf - he plays 2-3 times a week. But he never plays golf at the weekend because that is our time and that was the deal early in our marriage.

Hang on, are these his kids??

And why are you looking after HIS dog???

So many questions....

Not a chance op. He is really
taking the piss

“WhereYouLeftIt · Today 02:19

"I need a bit of help!"
No, you don't need a bit of help - you need your husband to shoulder his own responsibilities instead of unloading them onto you all the time. NEVER frame it as him helping you, because that's the equivalent of saying it's your job to do all this when it isn't.
I would be pointing out the blood obvious to him - he is a husband and a father and a dog owner, and he needs to fulfil his responsibilities to each of thee roles before pissing off on yet another jolly. He should be doing this under normal circumstances anyway; but particularly when you are injured and him not being around to deal with the physical stuff could delay your healing or worsen the injury.”

This with absolute bells on. It’s not helping. It’s parenting and running a household. His job as much as yours.

You say 'he' got a new dog? Does this mean you didn't want the new dog?

Tell him you actually already have plans at the weekend (even if all those plans are are you taking yourself out for the day to do something for yourself. A haircut, the cinema, a walk.), so he needs to figure out what is going to happen with the kids / dogs if he wants to go on his walking weekend because it's your turn to have a break.

You cannot just f off every weekend for the whole weekend when you have kids and pets at home - its just not how life works.

"I need a bit of help!"
No, you don't need a bit of help - you need your husband to shoulder his own responsibilities instead of unloading them onto you all the time. NEVER frame it as him helping you, because that's the equivalent of daying it's your job to do all this when it isn't.

I would be pointing out the blood obvious to him - he is a husband and a father and a dog owner, and he needs to fulfil his responsibilities to each of thee roles before pissing off on yet another jolly. He should be doing this under normal circumstances anyway; but particularly when you are injured and him not being around to deal with the physical stuff could delay your healing or worsen the injury.

He needs to behave like an adult, not a teenager treating his home as a hotel - which is frankly what he is doing.

That he can behave like this when you have as serious an injury as a broken arm, an injury which seriously impacts and slows down almost every activity - well it beggars belief. It also raises in my mind the suspicion that he is effectively checking out of the relationship.

I'd be blunt. 'I have a broken arm and you need to step up and take care of your children and the dogs because I cannot'.

I’m not a fan of telling a partner what they must/ mustn’t do. I AM however a fan of communicating how their actions impact me (and any children) and pointing out the consequences of their decisions. Talk to HIM about your relationship generally, how he feels about it, and how he feels about life generally. I’m not trying to justify him going out/ away every weekend, but sometimes, if work is stressful, for example, people feel as if they need a break from stress, and having a family at home relying on you to do everything is too much (I’m talking about a “perception” as opposed to your “reality”). All I’m saying is “communicate”. And that involves listening, as well as talking.
Only YOU know if you want to save the relationship, and the problem with threads like this, is you will get all the LTB comments, which will shore up your belief that you are “right” and he is “wrong”, and will widen the divide, instead of realising you have a problem and sorting it out with your chosen “partner”.

I don’t think your husband likes you very much as you have a broken arm yet he’s continuously leaving you alone to deal with the entire household including new pets and all the childcare? You have a broken arm, most normal people rally around their loved ones in that situation. I think he’s checked out of the relationship and doesn’t respect you, he’s quite clearly trying to spend as little time as possible at home. It’s fine for him to socialise and have hobbies but if his wife has broken limbs, she should be the top priority until she’s recovered

leave him

So literally every weekend he is away? That is ridiculous and YANBU. Have you told him you need help and how does he justify leaving you to deal with everything at home? I would not have agreed to a new dog and would be rehoming that pretty quickly. Selfish man.

Last line in the OP: “He’s not usually like this.”

Ah I missed that.

Well OP something is going on IMO. He is either feeling fed up and frustrated of family life and/or someone else has his attention.

I think its good to have time apart, but its also good to spend time together.

This is probably the closest to unanimous voting I have seen on AIBU.

Last line in the OP: “He’s not usually like this.”

Completely agree. I would be on alert for another woman or the potential for one soon.

And as you say even in “best case” scenario where he is truly is just with platonic friends and there’s no affair - it’s still terrible behaviour.

YANBU, he sounds awful OP. Does he not care about you at all?

I've broken my arm and its still really sore so I've been struggling with housework, running around and picking up kids and looking after our dogs

This is appalling. And has he always been like this? I am assuming not if you agreed to have children with him as well as own pets?

Keep the dog.
rehome the man.

Hobbies are great but not when occupy every weekend leaving you on your own with kids

even more so with a broken arm

He needs to stay home all weekend. You're needing help, how can he not see this ?

Organise to go out very early and leave him home with the kids.

Oh, and hill walking might be code for having sex with another woman. Check all his devices, particularly as he is getting more and more rude and entitled about his demands for freedom, which you say is unlike him.

But even if he's just being a lazy, rude entitled pig with his friends, he's still a lazy, rude entitled pig. Time to stop being a doormat, or this is your life for as long as your marriage lasts.

My husband currently has a broken collar bone. I've not left him alone with the kids for the last 2 weeks other than to work. Have cancelled any evening and weekend plans away from the home. He is being incredibly selfish, your arm with not heal properly without rest x