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AIBU?

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Original poster

To say DH needs to stay home next weekend?

162 replies

Mediocrewife · 28/09/2025 21:52

Arguing with DH. He's come back from his hobby and told me he's away hillwalking next weekend. No discussion which is not like him. Just I'm away with my friends for the whole day. Again.
The last two weekends he's been away for most of both days doing sporty thing/hobby, weekend after next he's away training for his work. Weekend after that he's something else on again.
So next weekend I was actually looking forward to having some help and time with him.I've broken my arm and its still really sore so I've been struggling with housework, running around and picking up kids and looking after our dogs. He's just got a new dog so more work.
Except its me whose bloody doing the work. Or it feels like it! I'm bloody knackered! I need a bit of help!
I've had no time to do any of the billing for my business this weekend or clean my van or you know.....relax! I'm supposed to be resting my arm.

Probably being unreasonable but I'm sore and tired and cannot see a compromise. He's not usually like this.

OP posts:
alfonzi · 29/09/2025 20:46

StewkeyBlue · 29/09/2025 18:38

Well the OP’s DH did choose to have both children and dogs.
His own children and dogs.

So if he shouldn’t be expected to spend weekends with his own children and dogs, who should?

Show quote history

Exactly, pointless statement from @Luckyingame it is absolutely fine not liking the idea of spending your free time with non-existent kids and pets obviously.

It’s a completely different story if you’ve gone and created children and you own pets!

What on earth does your elderly relatives trying to push for a visit have to do with this at all? Opting out of visiting relatives is in no way the same as opting out of honouring your vows to your spouse or your legal and moral responsibilities to your children.

Ops partner is a husband, father and a pet owner therefore he needs to parent , look after his pets and be a decent partner. It’s very simple.

Skybluepinky · 29/09/2025 20:13

Sounds like he hates spending time with you.

StewkeyBlue · 29/09/2025 19:34

LOL, I think we are being visited by some bridge dwellers

0/10 for originality and effect boys.

TheBeaTgoeson1 · 29/09/2025 19:22

You don’t need ‘help’ He needs to parent. Change the language 🙂

Doubledenim305 · 29/09/2025 19:21

ProudSquid · 29/09/2025 18:39

There's probably a good reason why he's spending so much time away. Home life there sounds like a ballache. How's your relationship?

Can you please enlighten me as to what is happening at home for him that he would need to escape from?

He seems to have someone who he doesn't give a stuff about running around after him doing all his chores for him.

Viviennemary · 29/09/2025 19:17

In this case yanbu. You've got a broken arm and he's already been away two weekends. Maybe he is having an affair. That is what crossed my mind because his behaviour is so selfish.

Jenkibubble · 29/09/2025 19:17

Mediocrewife · 28/09/2025 21:52

Arguing with DH. He's come back from his hobby and told me he's away hillwalking next weekend. No discussion which is not like him. Just I'm away with my friends for the whole day. Again.
The last two weekends he's been away for most of both days doing sporty thing/hobby, weekend after next he's away training for his work. Weekend after that he's something else on again.
So next weekend I was actually looking forward to having some help and time with him.I've broken my arm and its still really sore so I've been struggling with housework, running around and picking up kids and looking after our dogs. He's just got a new dog so more work.
Except its me whose bloody doing the work. Or it feels like it! I'm bloody knackered! I need a bit of help!
I've had no time to do any of the billing for my business this weekend or clean my van or you know.....relax! I'm supposed to be resting my arm.

Probably being unreasonable but I'm sore and tired and cannot see a compromise. He's not usually like this.

Even without a broken arm YANBU
He needs to step up !!!!!

GrandTheftWalrus · 29/09/2025 19:09

When i broke my ankle dh immediately stepped up and done everything for me. At night once kids were in bed he'd go to the pub for a pint to wind down. I encouraged it. No way would he have went out and left me to it.

WeNeedToTalkAboutIT · 29/09/2025 18:49

He wants you, his much loved life partner who is currently of broken arm, and/or somebody else, to look after his kids and his dogs, including his new dog, for 5 weekends in a row?

I presume he works Monday to Friday?

When exactly is he intending to put the hours into training the new dog that he promised to do half of the work with? When exactly during these 5 weeks is he intending to share the parenting and housework load, and to temporarily and in a timely manor, take on more than half of the grunt work load because his partner is currently injured and in pain? Why exactly does he think his hobbies and leisure time should be prioritised over his children, wife and dogs' immediate needs, for over a month solid?

Feel free to show him my post. I'd love to hear his answers.

HighLadyofTheNightCourt · 29/09/2025 18:45

ProudSquid · 29/09/2025 18:39

There's probably a good reason why he's spending so much time away. Home life there sounds like a ballache. How's your relationship?

Looking after his own kids and dogs? Why does he get to opt out?

AntiBullshit · 29/09/2025 18:44

Stop doing everything then you’ll free up some time to do things you want to do

Abominableday · 29/09/2025 18:41

ProudSquid · 29/09/2025 18:39

There's probably a good reason why he's spending so much time away. Home life there sounds like a ballache. How's your relationship?

Aw diddums. Kids and a dog - what a ballache.
That would be a dream for many men!

ProudSquid · 29/09/2025 18:39

There's probably a good reason why he's spending so much time away. Home life there sounds like a ballache. How's your relationship?

StewkeyBlue · 29/09/2025 18:38

Luckyingame · 29/09/2025 16:09

Well, however unpopular opinion, you are already arguing.
More he is forced, more he will disengage.
I wouldn't want to spend my free time with children and pets, but luckily I don't have any.

There are some elderly relatives, who tried to push me to a visit (in another country).
Result was, I didn't see them for five years.
How old is your husband?

Well the OP’s DH did choose to have both children and dogs.
His own children and dogs.

So if he shouldn’t be expected to spend weekends with his own children and dogs, who should?

DeliaOwens · 29/09/2025 18:37

DH “I’m away with friends the whole day, next weekend”
OP “Me too! So, I’ll let sort out house stuff, dogs, kids etc as I did it last eleventy billion times”

Lennon80 · 29/09/2025 18:24

I’d be checking he is where he says he is and who he is with.

if it’s not an affair he is still a selfish c£&@t

user1471538283 · 29/09/2025 18:17

This would be it for me. It's contempt. You've broken your arm and he thinks it's more important to go hill walking?

You always find out how people feel about you when you really need them.

childofthe607080s · 29/09/2025 18:07

Your instant response should have been
”well who is looking after the kids as my hotel is already booked “

MinnieMountain · 29/09/2025 18:00

You can’t be serious @Mum1120 .

Littlemissbubbblles · 29/09/2025 17:48

@Mediocrewife ( which you certainly are not! !)
From this moment I honestly would just do nothing! No cooking, no cleaning, no dog walking etc….. let it all go….. trust me nothing major will happen. Just say… it’s all caught up with you….. you just can’t continue as you are…….

ginasevern · 29/09/2025 17:44

I know you're adamant that he isn't cheating OP, but if this is uncharateristic behaviour then I'd personally start to wonder. I wish I had £1 for every woman who was unshakeably convinced her partner wasn't up to something. And that includes me! I'd keep an eye on his "hobby" if I was you.

Happyjoe · 29/09/2025 17:39

Has he got a mistress?!! Seriously tho, why isn't he taking the dogs with him? He's on walking holidays!

SezFrankly · 29/09/2025 17:31

cadburyegg · 28/09/2025 21:55

You’ve broken your arm, got kids and dogs to look after and he’s going off every chance he gets to do his hobbies and hanging out with his mates? Fuck that. He needs to be at home almost all of the time right now imo.

This saved me from typing anything here.

HighLadyofTheNightCourt · 29/09/2025 17:30

Mum1120 · 29/09/2025 17:13

I can’t believe people always blame the guy. He might actually want to just relax as you haven’t stated what he’s been doing in the run up, people should think about it more fairly. What happened to men’s rights?

Have you read a different thread to the rest of us?

The OPs husband is being selfish and thoughtless.

InMyShowgirlEra · 29/09/2025 17:21

"Oh really? I'm not available to look after your pets and your kids so you'll need to organise a dog sitter and childcare for the whole weekend. I might go away too. Have fun."