Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Fed up of splitting the bill with larger friends

113 replies

Foodie41 · 28/09/2025 21:36

There are four of us in our friendship group and we go out for dinner every other month or so, splitting the bill equally between us.

A couple of my friends are larger ladies and they often order slightly more food than myself and another friend.

With prices having risen sharply, we are now noticing the cost of things more closely and starting to feel a bit aggrieved that we are paying for food we aren’t eating.

Would it be rude of my friend and I to suggest we don’t split the bill moving forward? I just don’t want it to be awkward as I think it will be obvious why that suggestion is being made.

OP posts:
BeLilacSloth · 28/09/2025 21:56

‘We’ so you and a few friends have decided you’re not paying for the fatties anymore. Probably best to tell these ‘friends’ of yours the truth so they can go to the all you can eat buffet without you horrible lot.

Battical · 28/09/2025 21:55

Not unreasonable.

In fact, I’d take it a step further, and split the bill based on your contribution to the total weight of the group. So if the group, together, weighs 50 stones, and you’re 10 stones, you’d pay 20% of the bill.

ilovesooty · 28/09/2025 21:55

spicetails · 28/09/2025 21:53

I doapologise. I didn’t realise I’d directly responded to your contribution.

So you’re the one who thinks that people being fat means they're the ones running up the food bill, bevause theyre fat?

You’re an unpleasant person.

That better?

I really don't think you grasped what I said. I think the OP is being deeply unpleasant and I responded accordingly.

I'll wait for your apology.

toodleoothen · 28/09/2025 21:54

Pomegranatecarnage · 28/09/2025 21:48

YANBU. I am vegetarian and get fed up of subsidising steaks. I also don’t drink much more than a single glass of wine. People tend to over-order when the bill is getting split. I recently paid £60 when my own food and drink cost £24. Fuming!!

Yes, this happens to me all the time! I drink a glass of wine and order a mushroom steak or such and end up paying twice as much because everyone else is drinking much more than me, and ordering lobster and such like. Never ceases to annoy. I still can't bring myself to suggest we pay just for what we eat though. Always split the bill equally.

clipboardz · 28/09/2025 21:54

Ahh. I’d started to respond and then I thought: clickbait Daily Mail

it so much obvious isn't it 😆

clipboardz · 28/09/2025 21:53

Well don't tell them it's because they are larger!
I often eat more than my larger friends so I pay more.

spicetails · 28/09/2025 21:53

ilovesooty · 28/09/2025 21:50

There I was, thinking the OP could just say "Oi, lardarse. We're not going to split the bill any more".

I doapologise. I didn’t realise I’d directly responded to your contribution.

So you’re the one who thinks that people being fat means they're the ones running up the food bill, bevause theyre fat?

You’re an unpleasant person.

That better?

Enigma54 · 28/09/2025 21:52

Separate bills due to COL crisis.

MasterBeth · 28/09/2025 21:52

"Fed up with subsidising my fatty friends "

How am I fat shaming?

Leavesfalling · 28/09/2025 21:52

Yes OP. But just try and avoid calling your friends "you two massive fatties" when you tell them.

Beekman · 28/09/2025 21:52

Maybe your friends would not be fat if they had to pay the full price of their own food. Suggest that to them, it is sure to go down well.

It’s not U to pay for what you actually eat. It is U to say that they’re ordering more because they are larger.

ButWhether · 28/09/2025 21:52

Jsokev · 28/09/2025 21:50

Not even that stealth

It’s about as ‘stealth’ as ‘Oi, lardarse!’

Lj8893 · 28/09/2025 21:51

YANBU to want to pay for what you eat and not pay extra for others extra orders or larger appetites.

YABU to mention the size of the ladies. Who needs enemies with friends like you.

TickyandTacky · 28/09/2025 21:50

Foodie41 · 28/09/2025 21:40

How have I fat shamed?

Oh cut the faux surprise.

No need to even mention its because they are larger. The problem is you dont want to pay more than your share and thats ok. But it would be the same if they were ordering expensive wine. Its unnecessary to point out their weight.

Jsokev · 28/09/2025 21:50

ClutchingPearlz · 28/09/2025 21:44

Ooh a stealth fat shaming thread. This should be interesting 🤔

Not even that stealth

spicetails · 28/09/2025 21:50

Yup.

Next up - OP claims they only eat a couple of slices each f cucumber a day and this makes them a virtuous human being with a perfect character

ilovesooty · 28/09/2025 21:50

spicetails · 28/09/2025 21:40

I’d strongly advise against ‘You’re fat so eat more than me’ as an opening gambit

There I was, thinking the OP could just say "Oi, lardarse. We're not going to split the bill any more".

cygnusgenie · 28/09/2025 21:49

I'm so tiny, surely my bill should be tiny too Biscuit

ELS20 · 28/09/2025 21:49

I think it’s reasonable. With my brother and his with face up alcohol we stopped splitting family meals as they were not drinking and hence it was unfair for them to pay towards the alcohol which is expensive.

Pomegranatecarnage · 28/09/2025 21:48

YANBU. I am vegetarian and get fed up of subsidising steaks. I also don’t drink much more than a single glass of wine. People tend to over-order when the bill is getting split. I recently paid £60 when my own food and drink cost £24. Fuming!!

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 28/09/2025 21:48

OddBoots · 28/09/2025 21:38

You are not unreasonable to want to split the bill, but better to just phrase it that you are watching the pennies and want to order carefully.

I also think this is a good idea.

I don’t think over ordering necessarily goes by size either, but some people do order more than others, so often best not to split.

ehb102 · 28/09/2025 21:48

Speaking as as a fatty, it's the skinny drinkers necking cocktails who run the bill up.

cygnusgenie · 28/09/2025 21:48

ShanghaiDiva · 28/09/2025 21:39

No need for the fat shaming.
as cost of eating out has increased its a reasonable suggestion that each person pays for their own meal.

Absolutely.

FaceBothered · 28/09/2025 21:46

Foodie41 · 28/09/2025 21:40

How have I fat shamed?

Can you get your innocent eyes any wider? 🤣🤣

If you don't want to pay for people who eat more than you, that's fine.

But it's to do with appetite, not size as you well know...

ShanghaiDiva · 28/09/2025 21:46

@Foodie41 you could also have titled your thread - fed up with splitting bill with friends who order more than me.