Fed up of splitting the bill with larger friends

Nope, just my eyes.

Nice dodge.

Enjoy yoir piety

Why on earth didn’t you say something?

I couldn’t have kept my mouth shut. I wouldn’t have been able to sleep that night if I had let people take the piss out of me like that.
It’s fine splitting the bill when there’s a disparity of a couple of pounds but £36 difference- these people are not your friends.
Honestly - why did you let them do this??

🤣🤣🤣 Seriously? I reckon you’re on the wind up.

My BIL over orders when we eat out and ends up taking a bunch of stuff home, some of which he hasn’t even touched. He’ll order maybe three starters, then all these side orders he doesn’t need. Nobody wants to split the bill with him, the cheeky bastard. And he’s not even ‘larger’ (well, maybe a slight beer gut …)

Just say you’re strapped for cash and will only pay for what you eat. A friend of mine said exactly this the last time we ate out, no one batted an eyelid. I’ve also done it when I’ve wanted to order something more expensive and there’s no way I’d be comfortable doing that if we were splitting the bill equally. It’s not a big deal at all.

I have done this for many years by saying at the start of the meal - or possibly when the occasion was arranged that I would be asking for a separate bill and keeping a careful tally. Its a long time since I have drunk in pubs but I gave up contributing to a "kitty" or buying rounds which never works out fairly. As a single Ive been stiffed in the past buying rounds for couples while they only bought me one per couple in return.If asked what I am drinking I say "No thanks, I prefer to buy my own" without explanation. No one has ever commented or argued back.

The COL is a perfect reason to watch your budget carefully and not subsidise others. It has nothig to do with how slim or otherwise they may be.

Is there something wrong with your keyboard?

And in apoite and avedemic circles, if one has been misunderstood, one clarifies instead of putting the entire onus on the recipient.

It's just MNs though, so as pp said no shame in acknowledging you made a mistake...

Yoy dudng ask.

you said ‘I’ll wait for the apology’

completely different.

And in apoite and avedemic circles, if one has been misunderstood, one clarifies instead of putting the entire onus on the recipient.

One most certainly doesn't smugly claim ‘I’ll wait for the apology’

See the difference? (I doubt it)

Again, enjoy the piety.

Honestly I just love MN some times. It's just so funny.

OP please can you report back and tell us how the conversation went?

You are the only one to misinterpret and get it wrong. Your refusal to acknowledge this with good grace has made you look a bit silly.

Yeah, prob safer if hadn't mentioned their size!

I'm bigger than my better half, he's tall and lanky. He eats twice as much as I do daily and is a huge fan of fatty meats and junk food. Whereas I am vegetarian, cannot eat too much in one sitting because it causes physical pain so our meals out normally mean 1 for me, a starter, main and side for my partner.
Some people just eat a lot, some people use going out as a reason to go for it.

Reasonable to split a bill by what you each order, yes.

Unreasonable to fat shame as others have said.

I am a ‘larger’ lady, last night at dinner my stick thin friend ordered a side when I didn’t. I have one friend who will always order a dessert because she has a super sweet tooth, I never do because I don’t have a sweet tooth. It’s got nothing to do with size and you didn’t need to include their size to make a point around what is fair in terms of who pays for what.

I eat significantly less now im fatter then I ever did when i was skinny thanks to age and hypothyroidism. Someone being overweight doesn't always mean they eat more so that extra information you gave about their weight is irrelevant. If you want to pay for your own food then do so

Seeing as you have clearly said your larger friends only order slightly more than you, YABU.

But…youvd missed the point entirely. OP is implying in multicoloured flashing lights that the reason gif yhis is that her friends are ‘fat’

If your friends are nice people, can't they see the discrepancy? Or (if you don't want to make a fuss), can't you discreetly make the point to just one of your friends?

This is the answer.

OP no need to mention their size. I am in my fifties. Most of my friends are trying to lose weight or not gain so eat very little when we go out. I am slim so still order normally. I eat more than them. Not all large people eat more so no need to focus on that element.

This is a bill splitting dilemma that often arises. Most don’t see it as a fat thing. That’s your prejudice showing.

I always take the attitude the person most negatively effected by splitting the bill gets to decide if they want to split.

"Hey, do we mind just paying for what we order please? Im watching money atm" seems a reasonable way to start the next meal

Spoken like a true decent person

Please yourself. I hardly think asking for an apology after a personal attack is unreasonable.

I had a new friend who did this - order an expensive main, plus starter, sides, pudding, a cocktail... and then insist on splitting the bill - despite me pointing out she'd had more - it happened twice.

I was subsidising her meal!

So the third time, I said, before ordering, we'll pay for ourselves- she actually said 'no no, we always split, I don't like the awkward number totting up!!'

I said okay. I insisted she order first - and made sure I ordered more expensive choices. Her face was a picture. The bill was ridiculous but it taught her a lesson.

Every time after this, she's been happy paying for ourselves and strangely enough she doesn't order nearly as much...

Op you are suggesting splitting the bill based on what you order. That is fine.

Size is irrelevant unless you want to split the bill based on weight.

Only at Christmas.

I’d be more than happy to acknowledge, sadly the ‘I’ll wait for an apology’ in the absence of any understanding that words on a screen can be interpreted many different ways bevause tone, body language and facial expression are absent, has extinguished the goodwill.

Bye. Enjoy the piety