AIBU - that sadly, MN is losing its way?

15 years on mn, have left a few times in the last two or three years, it’s insanely different to years ago, now in so many cases first reply post is mean and it just drops from there until someone measured and diplomatic comes along and picks it up. Threads that used to be seen as funny are slammed and the op is kicked about for trying to be funny.

It's very antagonist too. Often a pile on of someone has a different view women don't support other women p. Here these days (in general!)

I am the same, the sheer number of obvious troll posts have made me a complete cynic.

I’ve all but stopped coming on recently. It’s just a little boring and repetitive or there’s unnecessary nasty comments.

It's here, @Canttrustthatday.

I feel this too- the dehumanisation. Even just the fact that the list of talk topics is interrupted by ads masquerading as threads. Why can’t we just talk without being seen as commercial units or numbers on a marketing spreadsheet?

Wouldn't that be great. A bunch of strong women bringing order to the madness.

Agree, OP - I’ve been on here about 15 years and it used to be more easy-going, funnier, and largely full of clever, sharp, slightly left-leaning women who were well-informed and witty and for the most part mutually supportive. Right now, the vibe is angry, derisive, argumentative but not in a good way, and much more shifted to an everyone-for-herself right-wing politics. Loads of angry stuff about politics - immigrants, the economy, Brexit, etc., plus misinformation about all sorts of things, refusal to acknowledge when caught out peddling information that is flat out wrong, etc. That sort of thing started around 2015-6 but now seems to have taken over the entire site. It’s depressing.

Mumsnet has been bitchy for a long time, lets call a spade a spade. AIBU has been funny, sometimes kind but always direct for a long time. It’s never been a “kind” place which is one of its strengths.

The politics has definitely acquired a harder edge post COVID but sadly that reflects the reality of where we are as a society.

The thing that really winds me up is the stupid username by numbers thing where theres a colour and an animal such as “MyAmberGiraffe”. Urgh. Why can’t people think of their own username? And why are most of these posters tradwives?

I stay away from anything controversial now. There's no middle ground or polite debate. Why do we have to be far left or far right. Lots of name calling and point scoring.

I miss the 80s. I really do.

Being a teenager was hell, so no. But the late 90s weren't too shabby for me.

I agree that thread was exactly in the spirit of what’s gone wrong with this site.

It’s the gradual dehumanisation of us all, the constant AI, disruptive adverts,
trolls, MNs questionable decisions 🙄 having to decipher what’s genuine and what’s not then how exactly to phrase things to not cause a pile on. It’s exhausting. And just while writing this post I’ve had about 60 million flashing jumping ads to contend with.

We live in angry isolated times. I don’t think that the way we live our lives is in any way helpful to our mental health and MN kind of highlights that.

I know someone who uses chatgpt as a counsellor rather than talking about the issue- she just wants validation all the time.

I miss the 80s. I really do.

I agree. I like MN in 2025 and I like what it's become

I also agree that it's changed, it can be utterly brutal and very very unkind and also dull (some RW posters are a yawn fest)

However I've blocked certain sections. I hide threads which I don't want to see and the obvious bot/spam threads.

I absolutely love the gently "unexciting" threads and sections (such as cooking and household questions and info). These make me happy

I enjoy the Christmas food delivery threads to find out Christmas substitutions. There's always something really funny In those .....I don't order Christmas food online so it's quite exciting to find out what happens!

Yes, I need to get out more 😁🙄

the deadly dull threads (how many "How often do you wash your towels?" threads do we need??),

I like reading the mundane, there's way too much stress and trauma in my day to day life at the moment, I wish I could go back to a time when things were simpler. And whilst I've never worried about my laundry, there were other trivial things that I thought were important at the time.

This is also why I hate the nastiness on MN, does anyone really need that in their lives? I can't understand why someone feels good about tearing others down. It just seems so difficult to avoid, I joined one of the MN off shoots which promised to be a kinder place, but it just descended into a bitchfest about the founders of MN.

There is a happy medium, being a kinder place doesn't mean endless threads about keeping your laundry white, why can't we be grown up and discuss things kindly even if we have opposing views. So many people on MN seems to have limited experiences and can't seem to accept that others have different lifestyles, there can be such a South England, city living bias.

MN can be a good place, I've seen lots of threads supporting abused women, but even those lately are attracting some nasty individuals.

I’ve been on here about 15 years. When it was smaller it did seem a warmer, wittier, more thoughtful and welcoming place. The rest of the world did, as well, to be fair!

What really strikes me - and the reason why I really do need to try to take a break from this site to ‘protect my peace’ as the kids say - is the rapidly growing number of posters with severe mental health problems.

I work in mental health. For me MN has gone from being a bit of light relief from life’s horrors, and a place to make contact with down-to-earth people having a good-natured chat, to a real busman’s holiday.

Because I spend quite a bit of my downtime pissing about on MN, the fact I’m now soaking up an increasing number of threads from people who are full of self-loathing or paranoia or grandiose rage has begun to colour my worldview.

I no longer feel confident that the majority of people are broadly functional and capable of thinking clearly.

I’ve noticed I have become much more wary of new people I meet, as I just don’t have the bandwidth to be doused in anyone else’s debilitating anxiety or delusional psychosis, after a gruelling day at work and then an hour or so scrolling through threads by people in varying states of emotional distress, making varying amounts of sense.

It could be a combination of burnout and confirmation bias; it could be that I read threads most people would avoid because I haven’t switched off my work brain. Who knows.

But I need to take a break and watch some romantic comedies or cat videos or something for a while before I get too down on the human condition.

MN has been aware of this type of targeting for quite some time (I’m recalling a message - I’m not sure if it was an email or in a thread - 10-ish years ago. To be fair, it can be difficult to stop these kinds of bots. I personally think the amount of bots posting on MN has increased exponentially in the last 10 years, and particularly the last year.

I think it’s just become more popular and its demographic has changed slightly as a consequence. I still find it to be a very useful resource, but not one I use daily.

The feminists have taken over the asylum

any attempt at humor is politically incorrect.
still some excellent threads in education.

I think it is good to eat the meat and spit out the bones when engaging with others.

I agree with this sadly x

After her update there was one final dig over her starting the thread in the first place.

Well actually the hugely substandard grammar is one of the things that puts me off MN, together with people who don't read the OP, the overzealous reporting, the censorious and inconsistent moderators, the deadly dull threads (how many "How often do you wash your towels?" threads do we need??), the unnecessary personal attacks, the annoying phrases (cue - or more usually "que" - such-and-such; think so-and-so; fast forward, etc. - or more usually "ect"), the misinformation and the people who talk utter shit but are convinced they are correct (see the astonishing thread about the civil service entrance test).

All that said, I still spend far too long on MN. There are helpful and kind posters and there are witty comments and I have learned some valuable and interesting stuff on here. You just seem to have to wade through an increasing amount of dross to get to it.

I think it’s due to the massive decline in people being decent to others. Covid maximised it. It’s so easy for people to criticise or denigrate posters even when they’re asking for help. It’s a poor reflection on every person who does it. They enjoy poking holes and ridiculing. I can’t see that changing, it’ll only get worse.