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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Celebration/wedding cost annoyance

29 replies

Sorrento79 · 28/09/2025 16:28

I obviously am being unreasonable because market forces etc but really!

we are getting married after over 10 years together, we'd always intended to but not got round to it, it's a second marriage for both of us and we're quite not interested in fussy mother of the bride/ who sits where/is uncle elton going to be drunk again type pfaff.

but my partner has had a cancer diagnosis and we want to do it before/in case our hands are forced later if you see what i mean. We want it to be informal, buffet, daytime, friends mainly and some family, not with complex table plans or even not even a sit down meal. Just a few hours socialising with people we want to be there, and a quick toast/speech and we're off. Maybe 70-100 people.

thousands and thousands and thousands of pounds! I found a village hall we could have cheaply but hardly any parking, not enough plates etc (we'd get a catetered buffet)and it would skimp a bit on size. Anywhere big enough wants you to have a complex meal and flowers and pfaff. Prepared to spend a couple of grand but not £10k!

why is it so impossible to get venues to whittle down their offerings to a minimum? I would think most of their waiting staff etc are gig employees so their fixed costs must be lower?

(Nottingham btw in case anyone has a suitable venue in mind!)

Sigh

YABU. Cough up the cash and eat the raspberry coulis and petit fours

YANBU. It's a tiresome reflection on the pfaff of modern life.

OP posts:
BePinkOrca · 28/09/2025 16:47

We wanted similar but smaller numbers you have to basically do it on a weekday and book with not too much notice so they know they are unlikely to get a booking elsewhere. Also look at “twighlight” weddings which is the ceremony and evening dance/buffet only these tend to be cheaper. Food for 100 people will run into a few of thousand though no matter how you look at it as £2000 % 100 is £20 per head. Good luck finding what you need, with a lot of searching and being flexible I am sure something will come up x

Mermaidsarereal · 28/09/2025 16:42

I'm not in Nottingham but for our wedding last year we had a small ceremony in the registry office and then I hired out a local golf club house, got the room decorated, hired a dj and had a massive buffet and it was all done in under 5 grand. It was stressful trying to do everything on a budget but I managed it after researching and messaging dozens of different businesses etc. Good luck, it will be worth it!

Octonaut4Life · 28/09/2025 16:41

The problem is the w word. If you're happy to just have a party, then book for a party not a wedding

Rocknrollstar · 28/09/2025 16:39

Have you tried a local golf club or a pub with a room or a local rugby club? The main thing is that you get married. Golf clubs round here specialise in buffets. We had a party for 50 people and it cost us £2500 but very few people were drinking. They let us take a cake in.