DS got engaged and never told me

Was her family there at the engagement?

And ignore all the extroverts saying the frequency of phone calls determines the closeness of a relationship.

exactly.

I was sure it would be something like it was OP. Glad that it's all been resolved but your DS's friend and his mum certainly need to learn some tact!!

Congrats on both counts! I hope you have a lovely time.

I’m glad it’s worked out well OP, I think you’ve had a hard time with the level of contact you have. Adults have lives, I think the WhatsApp group sounds great and calls not too bad.

Ah I'm pleased it was nothing horrible. My cousin got married and kept her marriage a secret for 11 years and only told her mum when she was pregnant with their first child. They are very close but she just preferred not to tell anyone. 🤣 I could see myself doing something like this because I just keep everything to myself.

Why would you say something like this to someone who is feeling hurt and upset?

Glad that’s all been cleared up and it was nothing negative op! Hopefully you can all enjoy the celebrations next weekend together now!

Ah sorry OP - should have read the updates. I'm really pleased it's sorted.

Happy Anniversary - have a great celebration!

I would think he's asked his best friend to be best man; I don't think there's anything 'dodgy' going on.

It's nonetheless galling that his best friend has shared the news with his mum while OP is still waiting.

I knew this would be what happened! Yay.

And ignore all the extroverts saying the frequency of phone calls determines the closeness of a relationship. Everyone's different.

Does anyone remember a similar thread about a son who, iirc, was in Australia when he got engaged and the mum somehow got to hear about it before he told her?

Sons, take note, you really need to either tell your mum straight away or get a lot better at keeping things quiet

I think it says a lot about your relationship that you turned to mumsnet before speaking to your son. If your relationship was good, you would have known it was something like it turned out to be.

He might not actually be engaged.
Friend of friend’s mum sounds like she wound you up on purpose.
Bafflingly, most young people today get engaged and THEN months later they do the proposal, the ring, the public engagement.
Perhaps he and gf have only decided to get engaged and are planning a big proposal at the next family event.

As in, friend of friend’s mum thought she would spoil what is meant to be a lovely surprise.

Editing to add I should have read the thread, but satisfyingly I was right about a big proposal being planned as a surprise for all

That's about the amount of contact we have with DS and I love him to bits. He lives a 5 hour drive away but doesn't have a car. He works FT as do I.

He doesn't phone that often, but when we do talk he is usually on the phone for 2 -3 hours.

So there was an innocent explanation, and he had planned a BIg Reveal.

Hooray! I’m glad I was right.

😂

I never call my DC and they never call me. All of us prefer messaging, usually via the family WhatsApp but sometimes individually. It's really quite a normal way to keep in touch.

Ohhhh, your poor DS - that must be gutting for him! But really glad it wasn’t anything more sinister. I didn’t get any vibes from your posts that you weren't close to your son, just sounds like you’ve found a way of communicating and seeing each other that works for your family. Congratulations on your son’s upcoming nuptials - time to buy a hat!

You aren’t remotely close to your son op

and this is the upshot of a remote relationship 🤷‍♀️

I’ve read the update and I still don’t think they’re close, so no. I’m pleased OP got a resolution with which she’s happy, though.

But, I hope you’ll enjoy asking people that question for what feels like 50 times.

Oh that’s a shame his friend blabbed but he sounds lovely to want to surprise you on your anniversary (how thoughtful). Glad it’s sorted usually there is always a good reason behind every story. You will be able to have a double celebration now how wonderful.

I’m so glad that it’s all ended well and that you weren’t being kept in the dark on purpose.

You’ll have a lovely meet up for you Anniversary and can all celebrate together.

What’s good for the goose isn’t always good for the gander. Everyone is different and wouldn’t it be boring if we were all the same. Yet so many people on this thread were quick to come to the assumption that relations weren’t all they should be because you’re not in contact every day/week. What is normal for one isn’t normal for someone else. Isn’t it better to let these things go and live and let live than to get so strung up when someone doesn’t do things as you would. Mumsnet at it’s finest!!

The above wasn’t for you Op, but for all those who told you you’re wrong.

I presume you'll come back and apologise for being so certain about their relationship once you've read the update?

@Yadsevet
But why even post how very much you contact your son? What do you want from that- to make the OP feel a bit shit?
It says a lot about you and, honestly, it's not the flex you think