Feeling a bit low with people not responding

35 replies

Cow00000 · 28/09/2025 14:22

A friend had a baby around 2 months ago, her second. This is somebody I went to school with and I've been to all the hen, wedding and baby showers and so on she's had. I moved an hour away, probably more like 50 mins drive, they have in their words a very top of the range car worth over 50k.
I moved before the 2 kids came along and she's never once been here, never seen the place I bought, never met my new boyfriend.

Im not yet married with kids, after her baby was born I sent a card congratulating her, I messaged saying I would love to come and meet her newborn son, she read it and never replied. I know people are going to pile on me for that, but she's posting plenty on social media and has clearly met up with other people.

Another one, not as big of a deal but an old colleague from a job I left. She got in touch to message asking how I was doing and if I fancied a coffee. I was surprised as this doesn't happen to me often. We met and I thought we got on well, though she kept telling me she doesn't like people and doesn't gel with them easily. Around 6 weeks later I messaged her again asking how she was doing, she was trying to be polite, I messaged if she wanted to meet up again and no response, it's been 4 weeks.

So it just feels like 2 recent snubs and I don't know what I've done wrong. I know I won't be everyone's cup of tea but I think I'm likeable. I've heard when people become parents and get married they tend to hang around with similar couples and move on from people they feel they can't relate to anymore.

OP posts:

Yabayabadoo · 28/09/2025 15:43

So many rude people even family members take the time to read but dont reply, we are all busy but communication doesnt even have to involve speaking. You’re not alone op

boberto88 · 28/09/2025 15:40

I’m sorry op. Some people can be so wrapped up in themselves and it’s very shit.
I’m currently through going through infertility and had a friend tell me how having kids means life is all about mum friends and play dates. She stated this no more than 20 minutes after me discussing how lonely I feel currently with all the infertility shit going on. Feeling extra low today as I’ve just had another failed round.
big hugs OP. You are not alone xxx

MoominMai · 28/09/2025 15:20

@Cow00000 definitely not you they sound rude and inconsiderate. Your first friend just sounds like a user tbh. I’ve read so many threads where a friend has been to a supposed bestie’s hen do, wedding, baby shower - think about it, that would have all cost money, made the photos look good with loads of their young friends there for social media and of course they get all the gifts at these events. But then once that’s over certain of their friends for whatever reason get virtually dumped as it were when they’re no more use to them. Their loss OP.

hideawayforever · 28/09/2025 15:10

A lot of people seem very selfish/self centred nowadays. Move on from them, they've given their answer.

ComfortFoodCafe · 28/09/2025 15:04

Its not you, they are just rude as fuck.

Crikeyalmighty · 28/09/2025 15:00

And yes I think it’s piss poor too - I think a lot of people do tend to compartmentalise and can’t be arsed if you aren’t on the doorstep - transactional friends - deep friendship regardless of where you are or like circumstances seems hard to come by these days, especially if you don’t stay in your childhood area

Crikeyalmighty · 28/09/2025 14:56

@SomethingWitty44 it’s common OP - I don’t think it’s you -

SomethingWitty44 · 28/09/2025 14:53

Hi OP,
I’m so sorry to read this is happening to you.
I, too, am in the exact same situation as you & could have written your post. Being left on read by more than one person is upsetting & I am trying really hard to find coping mechanisms to deal with this but don’t know how.
I get fed up of hearing people say they’re busy, it takes seconds to reply to a text, I just think they don’t want to. Society today seems to be really self centred & no one seems to care about anyone other than themselves.
I wish you all the very best x

morellamalessdrama · 28/09/2025 14:53

I do think people are in ‘busy land’ these days and sometimes forget that to have good connections with friends then you have to make time for them. The first friend may have a lot on her plate with the new baby.

Could it perhaps be that to meet up it would mean a big chunk of her day? I have a friend that lives about an hour from me who I do like to meet up with but whenever I meet with her, I feel pressure to carve out half a day at the weekend to see her when ideally I’d rather meet for an hour or two (at most) and leave it at that.

Original poster

Cow00000 · 28/09/2025 14:24

If you're going to go out of your way to tell me I'm desperate, needy, odd or whatever then save it, I've seen this on other threads and I've not posted here for that.

OP posts:

Unflip

1 2

Swipe left for the next trending thread