Feeling a bit low with people not responding

You posted quite a while back about your meeting with an ex colleague, didn’t you? Hadn’t they already explained they were extremely socially awkward and didn’t really like meeting up with people so this was out of character for them in the first place. In that scenario it wasn’t you it was them.

People with new babies are too caught up in surviving to think to meet up
woth everyone that says let’s meet sometime. Her priority will be surviving alongside those who are going through similar things - again that’s them not you.

if I’m honest these are two examples
of a long period of time. I get it weekly and I just deal with it now. Those who want to be your friend will be. Some of my best friends are people I don’t see for years at a time and there’s no bitching about not keeping regular contact.

Being lonely is shit. I totally get that and I wish I had answers all I can suggest is leave those who don’t give you a second of their time to contact and be friends when they’re ready or even not at all. Don’t take it personally and move on.

whatever you do don’t go chasing them

I’d give the first one a chance - send a message asking how things are going with two children; the second one I’d wait and see and not be concerned - it’s very casual anyway.

You come across very needy and that’s enough to put others off.
Get yourself a life so you are more interesting to others.

It’s two unrelated instances of people not getting back to you. One has a newborn and an older child, and one is an ex-colleague you’ve only met once since you stopped working together. They’re not snubs, one of them is an old friend who’s got a new baby — you’ll catch up some other time. The other isn’t someone you’re terribly invested in, as you say yourself. It’s two unanswered messages from people, out of all the people in your life who do stay in touch.

Sorry you're going through this OP.

I feel since covid, people got used to their own company.
Many are starting to reconnect but still finding it challenging after so long.

Hopefully you'll get to be with similar people who put in the effort.

I feel exactly the same. People I thought I’d had good friendships with just never reply to me or God forbid suggest a time to meet up.

I’m going through some life pain at the moment and not my usual happy self. It’s amazing how my friends haven’t bothered to text or call and just say hi hope you’re ok. When my friends go through bad things - job loss, divorce, parent illness I am so supportive. I ask how they are. Call them regularly. Then you want to get some friendship back and it’s like tumbleweed.

I don’t agree that people are “busy”. When I’m with my friends I see them on their phones. They have the time. They saw the messages.

For me what’s changed is the selfish attitude where everyone is in their own worlds and don’t stop and think about others.

one girl who is a friend of a friend has been regularly asking to catch up and checking in to see how I’m doing and I ask vice versa. Everytime we connect I remember there are good people and only bother making the effort with them. Be the unicorn x

Sometimes it just feels like no one wants to be your friend/hang around with you.

And unless you've been behaving monstrously, it's just likely to be a coincidence of others having busy times not related to you.

Don't take it personally.

This attitude is most probably the root of your issues.

I echo a lot of posters here. Same has happened to me. I just stopped trying to be the kne who always made the effort and the contact. Just let the ship sink and walk away with you head held high.
There's a few that since I stopped contacting them they've disappeared, and a few that only contact me when they want something but ignore my messages for weeks. Those are mainly gone too. Life's too short for users.

It’s difficult, I know. I try to have a very wide circle of friends so if a couple are being off with me, I can shrug it off more easily as plenty more to try with. I find most people these days have numerous periods where they can’t really deal with more than the necessary parts of life (work, kids, health) so when a friend ignores me I assume they’re in one of those periods and will come back to me eventually. I know it’s hard though x

@Cow00000 it's not you

I know how painful it is x

Friend one has a new baby and presumably a toddler, she's probably sleep deprived, trying to establish feeding and give her other child attention - I wouldn't be offended that she hasn't replied. She's probably just too knackered to think about more visitors after having all the family rock up to see the new baby! I would just send her a breezy message saying I hope you're all well and let me know when you're feeling up to having visitors.

Friend 2 sounds like she has difficulties with personal relationships so I wouldn't take it personally.

Did you delete your last post on this? I’m sorry you are still struggling with these two situations, probably best to move on and make more friendships or find some interesting hobbies and pastimes to make you feel less isolated.

Friend one has dropped you - block and move on

Friend two is dealing with some personal issues that have nothing to do with you. Wish her well and move on xx

People are rude and selfish OP, it’s not you. Surround yourself with people who can be bothered.

Is it possible you’re maybe just expecting a bit much from the wrong people, or that you’re misreading the closeness of these friendships?

Someone with a new baby for example is unlikely to be a reliable friend, I know I wasn’t when my daughter was 2 months old. It took every bit of energy I had to just muddle through the days and keep everyone alive & clean, driving an hour to see a friend was not even remotely possible in my mind and I also don’t know that I’d have been keen to invite anyone other than close friends/family round to see my in that state.

The colleague- I think having a one off coffee with an old colleague to catch up is “the norm” and doesn’t suggest a willingness or need to make it a regular thing.

It happens to the best of us, OP, and it's hurtful.

Remember what Mel Robbins says: if they wanted to, they would.

It’s a bit shit. But I swear I didn’t know which was was up, with a 2 month old. I sat in a garden centre cafe with a full tit out and didn’t realise till I felt a gust of wind over my nipple. Imagine the most knackered and disoriented you’ve ever been, then multiply. And that was only with my very easy first baby. It’s the biggest shock ever. And not personal. X

It's so difficult when friends give confused messages. A friend said he's having a month of work, we should meet up, I text him, no response.

It's so rude and tbh when that happens I just cross them off the metaphorical friends/potential friends list.

Most people are wrapped up in their own lives. Don’t take it personally.

The key is to stop making effort with people who don’t reciprocate and make an effort with this who do reciprocate.

Don’t contact these women again, the ball is in their court.