Should she have interfered?

I'm a bit on the fence.

I remember going 😢 when nursery told me my daughter had been cutting up fruits with an actual knife 😳.

I think she was well-intentioned, but you just don't touch people's food.

I also understand you telling her he was fine to carry on by himself, so yeah...

My arse is now sore.

YANBU to let your kid cut bread, but I feel that it isn't surprising that your approach to the woman caused an argument. You could have just said, thanks for watching out for him, but I'm happy with him using the breadknife.

Honestly op. Unnecessarily adversarial. Most people would have breezily told your son that the lady didn't realise he was so capable and was trying to help. Not sure I would have felt the need to hunt her down to tell her to stay away from your son. Unclench a little.

But why waste the bread, and leave this nutter to go around causing other families to waste bread? Yes, perhaps it cost the OP noting material as it was a buffet with more bread available, but no one should be actively encouraging waste.

She was trying to be helpful, but people really should respect children’s wishes when they say they don’t need help.

No she absolutely should not have interfered! If she was that concerned she could have spoken to you!

If this were my DS, he would have looked totally confused, he would have looked over at me, I’d have gone up to him and asked him what the matter was, listened, told the woman thanks but he’s fine, left the bread rolls she’d cut there at the station, picked up two more and taken DS back to our table with a muttered “DH was probably just trying to help”.

I don’t think this is the sort of thing your kids need to get upset over, or for you to “have their backs” in regard to 🤣

She was trying to be helpful , but was definitely moving into busybody territory, in my opinion.
Many people seem to be obsessed that children under 12 shouldn't be let near anything sharp- which is in my opinion the best way to cut yourself badly- all children should learn knife skills, because they will all have to cook in order to survive. I taught this to a troupe of Brownies some people had very strange ideas about this. It is also essential knives are part of their everyday life , so they are much harder to glamourize.

Parents really don’t need to be within arms length of a child that age all the time.

It’s perfectly reasonable to expect them to just be left to get on with what they’re doing - they weren’t doing anything wrong, or dangerous, and a random adult should no more try to “help” than they would help another adult who didn’t ask for assistance.

YABU for not being close by enough to intervene at the time and say he was OK.

I don't understand how people can say "she was doing a nice thing". She is a complete stranger to your child, inserted herself into the family's personal space and, I agree, you have no idea about her hygiene or morals. I'd have told her to, not so politely, fuck ofI the minute she started.

Main character syndrome?

Strange. I havent seen this happen every often. I would of said he can do it himself. Its not good to let other people who are not chefs and strangers touch our food.

She massively over stepped. Being concerned and forcing your preferred way of doing things over the protests of the child and without their parents’ blessing are not one and the same when there isn’t significant and obvious danger.

but it’s done. You’ve told her clearly that it was inappropriate, unnecessary and unwanted. Sounds like you aren’t dwelling on it, which is as it should be. Just one of the many blips in life that we all have to ride over.

I am torn on this one as I understand your annoyance - I too would have felt judged in this situation, and annoyed that my son was embarrassed like this.

And it's odd she thinks a child of 9 can't cut bread safely - is he quite young looking/small for his age? Could she reasonably have mistaken him for a younger child.

On the other hand, I firmly DON'T believe that a parent's decisions regarding their child are always sacrosanct, or that we should never step in if we believe a child to be endangered by a parents' negligence. I risked disappropobium once by moving a child away from the fire at a bonfire event in my village. The parents seemed distracted to me and it looked like an accident waiting to happen. I'd rather a pissed off parent than watch a child seriously injure themselves. Parents are fallible like everyone else and can miss things or get things wrong.

Not worth stressing over, and I guess you will never know her reasons - perhaps she has reason to be especially stressed about kids and knives. I'd probably pity her more than anything, as it seems plausible some accident may have occured in her past to make her excessively vigilant on this issue ....

(Or she is just interfering and a bit mad. But as you will never know, might as well make the most compassionate reading of the situation you can).

YANBU ...she should have minded her own business and well done for pulling her up on it. Why do people feel the need to interfere in your parenting, like they know best and you his mother knows nothing.... And touching his food is disgusting. I would have been fuming

YANBU at all. She shouldn't have interfered with your child. She could have asked him where his mum was to help him, not touched him or his food. She's lucky he wasn't an autistic child who would go into full meltdown over this.

Not all parents supervise their children well, a concerned person did what they thought was best. It's not really worth thinking about again is it? It's just a bit of bread.

Surely I’d she was trying to do the right thing she would have asked the child if they needed or wanted help and listened to the answer.

She didn’t “help”. She interfered where it was neither wanted or needed.

She sounds like an annoying do gooder!!

she tried to do a nice thing.

All you had to do was say “thanks for caring, my children have been taught how to use knives safely so it’s all fine and Im watching from a distance thank you. Have a lovely holiday”

then once she left dispose of the handled bread and let the kids cut more.

why are you so angry and stressed you felt the need to tear a strip off a nice woman who tried to help. Maybe you need to post about what’s going on in your life and get it off your chest? Maybe MN can help? Life can suck at times.

Going over and telling her off was a bit much, but it was pushy and intrusive of her to interfere. Yeah, step in if you see a toddler playing with a knife or something while their parents’ backs are turned, but a nine-year-old cutting a piece of bread at a buffet? She needs to stop being so flappy and stressy. Of course a nine-year-old can slice a roll in half ffs.

YANBU she was rude to touch his food and interfere.
9 yr olds are not babies.

She was well intentioned, your reaction is rather OTT.
I support independent skills with my kids but in a public setting I would have been alongside to supervise rather than letting the dc go off on their own.

Oh, I can’t stand when people try and parent my children, they do not belong to you. They are none of your business so please fuck off. I’ve been fuming like you, not that you’re letting a toddler loose with a knife! The absolute fucking audacity of some people! Also, I’m a teacher, and a safeguarding lead in my school this is not a concern