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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want a coffee shop with a no children policy

391 replies

Amiterriblex3 · 28/09/2025 11:51

In a coffee shop and have to listen to a bunch of 2 year old screaming, absolutely screaming at the top of his lungs. Their mothers might be immune to such noise but I am not. I would be embarrassed if my child screamed like that

OP posts:
PegDope · 28/09/2025 13:21

Iamthemoom · 28/09/2025 13:21

Really don’t understand why you would choose to post about wanting child free spaces on a parenting forum?

Now that’s sound logic right there 🫠

herbalteabag · 28/09/2025 13:21

Aitchemarsey · 28/09/2025 13:07

I'm mid 30s, only about half of my friends/colleagues/peers have children, mostly only one. My son has no cousins. Much of the world has declining fertility rates; it's really only sub Saharan Africa where there's real growth.

But are they busy during the day or constantly out having coffee?

PegDope · 28/09/2025 13:21

I’ll invest in the Intolerant Adult Cafe!

The amount of parents of young kids getting their noses totally out of joint on this thread is hilarious.

NOT MY TARQUIN!!!

Iamthemoom · 28/09/2025 13:21

Really don’t understand why you would choose to post about wanting child free spaces on a parenting forum?

Emori · 28/09/2025 13:20

Everywhere is noisy now. Libraries are probably noisier than most other places these days. And they have very few books.

You could try opening up your quiet coffee shop OP but I think you'd be on a hiding to nothing - nobody ever shuts the fuck up, in 2025.

dreamiesformolly · 28/09/2025 13:19

strictlynopolitics · 28/09/2025 13:16

Is this aimed at me?

If it is, of course it's not intolerant to think that, but you would be very welcome in my Intolerant Adult cafe and they would not.

Apologies, I've just realised I misinterpreted your post! I didn't pick up that you were using 'intolerant' ironically. Count me into your cafe if I didn't already get myself barred! 😄

AlPaccacino · 28/09/2025 13:19

My ideal set up if I had the funding would be
Open early 0600-0900 to get the early workers in, and then late evenings.
Thus avoiding the mums with kids times. Lovely suppers without the stress. Lots of tables for 1 or 2.

Or alternatively a very small cafe with cosy lighting, comfy seating. All squished in nicely with no room for buggies. Mobile phone blockers and no wifi. Book corner, lush cakes, glorious tea and coffee selection.
Signs up stating no dogs and also baby wearing welcome. (Encouraging mums but no free range children)

When my 2 were young, our ‘cafe’ experience consisted of McD’s and the like. I didn’t want to risk the looks and tsking that they would have caused.

80smonster · 28/09/2025 13:17

Wow, everyone’s getting upset about the prospect of a childfree Gail’s, I didn’t suggest it because I regard it as quiet, it’s because I’d like it to be.

TinyTeachr · 28/09/2025 13:17

Toddlers do occasionally do unacceptable things. My 1 year old did a really loud scream in church this morning - she'd found a corner with a great echo. She was delighted with herself. Those saying that they should be parented better, while I don't disagree, young toddlers do daft and unexpected things that you can't always anticipate. That's rather different from a neurological 5 year old acting up.

I think most cafes rely on families for custom during certain parts of the day, so you're not likely to get rid of them totally! But if you're really keen perhaps suggest certain times that your local cafe could have as "adult only". Sounds from this thread like there might be a market.

I love it when we go to a cafe that has a child friendly zone. We go and sit there with our 4 kids. Others that want a quieter space go far from the zone. Our favourite cafe has a downstairs bit with lots of toys etc. All the kids love to be downstairs and they love having playmates. You can't hear much at all from upstairs, which is where child free people tend to congregate.

Livpool · 28/09/2025 13:16

Spookyspaghetti · 28/09/2025 12:22

I think banning other humans is quite unpleasant and I’d rather be around someone else’s screaming child than around many entitled adults. Especially as the place would probably be packed to the ceiling with dogs.

I agree! Children have to be with their parents- you can’t leave them at home, that would be neglect! England is so anti-children, it’s odd. Dogs are fine though, apparently

strictlynopolitics · 28/09/2025 13:16

dreamiesformolly · 28/09/2025 13:13

Genuine question. Is it 'intolerant' to think it's not OK for two adults to sit chatting to each other and doing absolutely zilch to control their children while said children scream, run round the place almost tripping up staff in the process, and hang off the backs of strangers' chairs while they were trying to eat? Because that's what I observed the last time I was in a cafe.

Is this aimed at me?

If it is, of course it's not intolerant to think that, but you would be very welcome in my Intolerant Adult cafe and they would not.

Gonners · 28/09/2025 13:14

Praying4Peace · 28/09/2025 12:45

YABU.
Young children and babies are noisy, even good ones 😁
What about the parents or grandparents who want to enjoy a coffee in a coffee shop?

They could always go to one of the thousands of others that didn't have a ban. I don't think anyone's asking for them to be banned everywhere - though that's an even better option! 😉

Craftysue · 28/09/2025 13:13

It's not the toddlers that bother me, it's the parents that are on their phone while their kids are running round. I was in a cafe on Friday and a little boy was just running about - parents didn't even look up. In the end the manager spoke to them as she was worried about him getting burnt. They just gave her a mouthful of abuse and said they wouldn't be back - fingers crossed 🤞

dreamiesformolly · 28/09/2025 13:13

strictlynopolitics · 28/09/2025 13:06

Maybe someone could open a cafe for intolerant adults?
I'd be there like a shot!

Genuine question. Is it 'intolerant' to think it's not OK for two adults to sit chatting to each other and doing absolutely zilch to control their children while said children scream, run round the place almost tripping up staff in the process, and hang off the backs of strangers' chairs while they were trying to eat? Because that's what I observed the last time I was in a cafe.

Rightsraptor · 28/09/2025 13:12

Me too, OP. No kids, no dogs.

Blueblell · 28/09/2025 13:10

Go to pub, they do coffee.

OutsideLookingOut · 28/09/2025 13:09

Oaktreet · 28/09/2025 13:07

I just think they generally need to start creating spaces for introverts/stimulus sensitive people.

I used to love quiet coaches on trains, not sure if they still do them. But if feels like you can't go anywhere outside and still have peace.

Yes. Yes. Yes!

InterestPiqued · 28/09/2025 13:09

strictlynopolitics · 28/09/2025 13:06

Maybe someone could open a cafe for intolerant adults?
I'd be there like a shot!

Me too! I’d love a list of banned things.

No devices on loudspeaker.
No teams calls.
No kids.
No bad table manners.

FastFood · 28/09/2025 13:09

I have one. It's called home.

OutsideLookingOut · 28/09/2025 13:08

I do wish there were more spaces for people (and children) who like quiet. As a child I was quiet and loved quiet spaces. I sometimes think in our quest to be accessible we've made areas less accessible for some populations who are less likely to complain.

Surprisedcupcake · 28/09/2025 13:08

To be honest if it's not children then something else will take the place of annoyance. You're better off working on yourself and learning to not let things bother you.

Oaktreet · 28/09/2025 13:07

I just think they generally need to start creating spaces for introverts/stimulus sensitive people.

I used to love quiet coaches on trains, not sure if they still do them. But if feels like you can't go anywhere outside and still have peace.

Aitchemarsey · 28/09/2025 13:07

ilovesooty · 28/09/2025 13:00

Really? I can't see any evidence of that.

I'm mid 30s, only about half of my friends/colleagues/peers have children, mostly only one. My son has no cousins. Much of the world has declining fertility rates; it's really only sub Saharan Africa where there's real growth.

Salvadoridory · 28/09/2025 13:07

SalamiSammich · 28/09/2025 11:55

Would you also bar people woth disabilities who make loud involuntary noises?

That's just ridiculous and to be honest, a bit desperate.

strictlynopolitics · 28/09/2025 13:06

dreamiesformolly · 28/09/2025 13:04

I'm not sure I agree, given some of the responses on here. I think there are plenty of us 'intolerant' adults (nice bit of pass-ag snark there) who would pay good money for a break from the constant screaming that seems to be considered fine and dandy these days.

Maybe someone could open a cafe for intolerant adults?
I'd be there like a shot!

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