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Original poster

I’m so angry on my friends behalf

118 replies

lessee167 · 28/09/2025 11:12

My Best Friend is not in a very happy marriage. Her Husband has always been a tricky character and is very very tight with money. I think he’s financially abusive she thinks he’s just a bit tight. They mainly have separate finances but this benefits him much more than her.

Any way, they have an online shop delivered once a week, they both add to it as needed. Today it’s been delivered and her sanitary towels were not on it. She assumed they were out of stock so she logged on to check the order and saw they had been removed. She asked her husband and he replied “you can pay for your own luxuries from your own money”.

I mean this is just ridiculous, it’s not as if she had added expensive face cream or make up! It would be the final straw for me

OP posts:
MrsDoubtfire1 · 28/09/2025 13:05

He obviously feels she is his inferior. I would look at the shopping list and remove things he chooses like shaving foam. That will teach him. Why do women put up with morons like this? It beggars belief that we don't stand up to them.

TippityTappity · 28/09/2025 13:04

What an utter knobhead. He’s being cruel and greedy to say the least. I really hope she leaves him and he can take his bag of coppers to bed with him every night. Arsehole.

HedwigEliza · 28/09/2025 13:02

Everything you said may be absolutely true, but I’ve never seen any good coming of interfering in other people’s marriages. The only people who really know what goes on are the two people involved, no one else.

You can support her to make her own decisions, but they have to be hers. Don’t encourage her to make the ones you would make in her situation, she’s not you. She needs to make up her own mind. Don’t publicly shame him as PP advised: no good will come of it and the only one who’ll suffer for that is your friend.

Catwalking · 28/09/2025 12:59

Do you know if she has family who you could communicate with about her ‘situation’?

AngelicKaty · 28/09/2025 12:56

lessee167 · 28/09/2025 12:32

Well I’m hoping this spark starts the fire and she leaves. He will make it as difficult as possible, he’s very tight and cagey about money. Would not be surprised if he’s been squirrelling it away.

I know I’m making his sound like a pantomime villain. If you met him you would think he was a nice guy, but over may years I’ve seen him destroy her confidence in herself.

Show quote history

I'd be raging too OP (in fact, I am, and I don't even know you or your friend!)
Your sentence "If you met him you would think he was a nice guy ..." tells me all I need to know about him - he's a narcissist who's keen to protect his public reputation, but is an absolute cunt behind closed doors. If I were your friend, I would publicly shame him. I would loudly tell people at various gatherings of family and friends what he did and said, so they can deliver the opprobrium he so richly deserves. Maybe when he sees other people's shocked and appalled reactions he might be embarrassed into behaving with more care and respect towards your friend.
PS: Sorry about the language, but I'm that furious! 😡

ToadRage · 28/09/2025 12:54

If my husband said that i would spend the duration of my period naked and bleed over everything and i have PCOS so when i say bleed i mean BLEED, see how he fucking likes that.

GreyCarpet · 28/09/2025 12:50

He knows they're not a luxury.

This is not because he is an ignorant man who thinks women can hold in their periods or doesn't understand what periods are or whatever.

He knows exactly what they are, what they are for and why they are needed.

He is just seeing how far he can dehumanise her. He's pushing her deliberately to see if she has a limit. It's a game he's playing with himself.

Dopeydoraz · 28/09/2025 12:49

If I was her I’d free bleed all over the furniture

SALaw · 28/09/2025 12:46

And how did she respond to him?!

Catpiece · 28/09/2025 12:40

Utter cunt

Foodieasfuck · 28/09/2025 12:36

It’s amazing what you tolerate when you get used to it… she needs to step back and realise what an arsehole her husband is!

itsgettingweird · 28/09/2025 12:35

NoSoapJustUseShowerGel · 28/09/2025 12:31

Her “luxury” periods are what enabled him to have kids ffs.

Edited

His mothers “luxury” periods are why this horrid specimen exists

mumofoneAloneandwell · 28/09/2025 12:34

Honestly, in these situations women tend to analyse each slight and bit of nastiness as individual things that can be worked on

This man does not love her. It is time to leave.

themerchentofvenus · 28/09/2025 12:33

Well if he considers sanitary pads a luxury and has removed them from the shopping, then I suggest she takes his pants to wear when she is on her period, then his socks will make an excellent substitution for the pad.

I hope she leaves this twat soon.

Original poster
lessee167 · 28/09/2025 12:32

Jejejfjffjjf · 28/09/2025 12:29

She needs to gather evidence and plan to go in a way that limits the damage he can cause.

Well I’m hoping this spark starts the fire and she leaves. He will make it as difficult as possible, he’s very tight and cagey about money. Would not be surprised if he’s been squirrelling it away.

I know I’m making his sound like a pantomime villain. If you met him you would think he was a nice guy, but over may years I’ve seen him destroy her confidence in herself.

OP posts:
Fluffypotatoe123987 · 28/09/2025 12:32

My advise.

DO NOT ADVISE DO NOT SLAG HIM OFF. LISTEN ONLY and say I can only imagine how that made you feel

NoSoapJustUseShowerGel · 28/09/2025 12:31

Her “luxury” periods are what enabled him to have kids ffs.

Jejejfjffjjf · 28/09/2025 12:29

She needs to gather evidence and plan to go in a way that limits the damage he can cause.

GreyCarpet · 28/09/2025 12:28

Of course he doesn't really think sanitary pads are luxuries 🙄

He doesn't like or love her which is why he treats her this way and he doesn't respect her because she 'lets' him treat her this way.

At this point, he's just descended into absolute contempt and is playing with her for his own amusement. He might as well be pulling the legs of a spider.

Original poster
lessee167 · 28/09/2025 12:28

MyDeftHedgehog · 28/09/2025 12:25

He sounds absolutely foul. Do they have children? Can she kick him out?

They do, early teens. They have been together since their teens (now early 40s). She is just used to his behaviour but this seems to have struck a cord with her now. It’s so petty and mean.

OP posts:
MyDeftHedgehog · 28/09/2025 12:25

He sounds absolutely foul. Do they have children? Can she kick him out?

thepariscrimefiles · 28/09/2025 12:24

Slightyamusedandsilly · 28/09/2025 12:05

She should free bleed in their bed and apologise but say she had no pads and didn't have a choice. On his side of the bed.

Or she could cut up his favourite clothes to make some homemade sanitary towels.

Olivene · 28/09/2025 12:22

ComfortFoodCafe · 28/09/2025 11:46

Luxuries? She should free bleed on his side of the bed, see how the bastard likes it then.

And the sofa.

Enigma54 · 28/09/2025 12:18

Dear god, I’ve no words. What a horrid specimen of a creature. Can she leave him?

Original poster
lessee167 · 28/09/2025 12:18

I’m really hoping she leaves him but he has her so beaten down. It’s all so subtle as well. All I can be is a friend to listen and I will.

OP posts: