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Original poster

Find Xmas too depressing as I get older

61 replies

TweedledumTweedleddee · 28/09/2025 06:43

Is it an age thing? I have a hell of a lot to be grateful for, and on the day I'll feel a lot better; but I miss the heady days of Xmas as a child so much. Miss the excitement of big family celebrations with grandparents, cousins etc. Now I'm 60 I'm over it. Cousins spread out with their own families, local friends with their own families.
This year it will be just me, dh & elderly dm. Her party spirit left a long time ago, she's old & tired, arthiritic so cant do that much. Dh just cant help falling asleep in front of the tv after Xmas dinner & a couple of glasses of wine.
Even the pubs if you go out to celebrate, maybe on Xmas eve seem to have lost the Xmas cheer of the old days.
Have a dd & dgs but it's her partner's parents turn this year. Our own ds will be away for the first time, abroad with the Raf.
Yes, it'll be stress free, we've got a healthy & happy family & comfortable home, but compared to my childhood xmas's it's just another day. When I hear of others still having big family Xmas's around the table I have a lot of fomo if I'm honest; but I appreciate I still have a lot to be thankful for at Xmas. How do you snap out of this annual Xmas depression?

OP posts:
PersephoneParlormaid · 28/09/2025 07:20

If my adult DC weren’t home at Xmas I’d do a roast meal on Xmas Eve and then spend the actual day lounging about in PJ’s eating nibbles. No cooking.

opencecilgee · 28/09/2025 07:19

Im in my 40s and have a young child

i dislike xmas and I really enjoy January every year more and more.

Its forced time with family; being cooped up inside, eating and drinking. High expectations and also the length of time it runs for. The shops are full of
xmas tat and if i want to book a FC visit for my child, its ridiculous price and i have to book now…3 months in advance

whimsicallyprickly · 28/09/2025 07:17

It's just another day when no (younger) children are around. But that doesn't mean its a horrible or boring (just another) day

What would you LIKE to do on 25 December, OP? What would make you happy?

Maybe have the roast on the 24th and do something completely different on the 25th ?

Think outside the box about what YOU would like

vincettenoir · 28/09/2025 07:17

YNBU. If you enjoy a big family Xmas I can understand why the change feels like a loss. Acknowledge that there won’t be the same hustle and bustle and you miss that. But you can still take pleasure in it in plenty of small moments. A decent film, some lovely food, a pretty walk etc.

PersephoneParlormaid · 28/09/2025 07:12

I agree, It’s not the same any more.
I remember seeing family and friends, Christmas seemed to last from Christmas Eve to New Years Day. Nowadays it’s over in a flash as people are out sale shopping on Boxing Day.
Even when my kids were little it still seemed to lack the magic. Maybe we were lucky to have experienced it, and should just be grateful for that.

EnterFunnyNameHere · 28/09/2025 07:11

I think that's pretty normal to be fair OP, for me whilst I do miss the excitement of my childhood Christmases it's more:

A) Christmas fever starts so early that by the day itself I'm over it.

B) Christmas and New Year is an anticlimax, because you get to them, try to feel optimistic about the new year and what you're going to try to achieve, only to have months of the worst bit of winter left.

That said, as per PP, you can't really recreate being a kid on Christmas... but you can think about what you would really like to happen on Christmas (and in the run up) as an adult rather than just letting things happen "just because", and aim to make that happen whatever it is.

Summerhillsquare · 28/09/2025 07:06

If you want to compare yourself favourably, I am single and childless, no family, and most years receive no invitations.

saywhatdidhesay · 28/09/2025 07:01

Do something different on the lead up that YOU enjoy or will make a change or make it more memorable? I don’t think you’re being unreasonable at all as actually Christmas is all we hear about for months, and then ends up being quite flat.

verycloakanddaggers · 28/09/2025 06:51

It might help to stop trying to feel the way a younger version of you felt, you can't recapture that. Be grateful you had it, and then choose to turn to your current self and try to define what you do want to feel this year.

Do you want a rest, or use the time to cook a feast, or space to go to different events, do you go to church, do you want to volunteer? Do you enjoy decorations or do you like things simple? Big walks or lazy days? Home or away?

You can keep any of your old traditions, you don't have to ditch everything. But you can't make yourself feel the way a younger version of you felt.

ilovesooty · 28/09/2025 06:47

I'm older than you and I was over it years ago. Roll on January.

Silvertulips · 28/09/2025 06:47

I’m not sure you do!!

You can’t recreate the magic - bit you can decide to do christmas as you wish.

Invite others for christmas eve?

Look at other ways of celebrating - DD over boxing day or christmas eve -

Have a lie in and let you DH make you breakfast in bed - he gets his nap later!