AIBU to be a little sad at the idea of dd not believing in Father Christmas anymore?

Think what a child needs to do in 18 years - go from no understanding to adulthood. If they don't start understanding the difference between stories and reality at the natural age for them, it isn't helpful. Your job is to let her grow up, not push or prevent it.

As a child who has no memory of ever believing in Father Christmas (my dad was a Father Christmas for hire every year, so me and my siblings knew extremely quickly), we still found Christmas absolutely magical and special. Father Christmas just wasn’t part of it.

I think the whole FC is so overrated. There’s so many other things to love about Christmas.

9yo last year was getting suspicious, 5 yo ds just thinks it's the parents. Tbh I cannot wait until they both know it's us but we can continue to pretend to make it christmassy but maybe not have to wait til bloody 2am to sneak on on Xmas eve because they are still awake!

My eldest is 8 and in year 3. She was questioning it last year as some kids at school told her Santa isn’t real. I will be surprised if we get away with it this year but I really hope she plays along as she has younger siblings who are 5 and 2! She is neurodiverse though and quite black and white about things, so I feel she may spill the beans without realising the consequences even if we ask her to play along for her siblings. I’ll be sad if my younger 2 get the magic spoilt early, particularly my youngest who still doesn’t actually understand yet!

I have an 18yo, 15yo, 10yo and 8yo. 10yo probably still goes along with it, 8yo still believes but possibly this will be the last Christmas?

It's a day that has to come. They're growing up! I have had many years of having Believers. I can't complain too much🤣

I don't remember ever thinking it was real, because my logic side kicked in and said it wasn't possible. Obviously there is a brief time in my life I don't remember (very young child) but I probably wasn't aware of it either! We never lied to my son about it, and he's still had lovely Christmas times, so it's not the be all and end all if they stop believing. I do get the mixed emotions at realising they're growing up though!

I never believed in Father Christmas and was never told he was real - it was just a big game/tradition that we did every year.

You need a lot of help, you sound deeply unpleasant. Apols for the derail @op am tapping out now. I hope you manage one last magical one!

Not always, my friend’s daughter cried when she told her before year 7! She wasn’t a ‘young’ 11 year old either!

I didn't say you'd be abusive. That's a leap. We evidently have different opinions on pet ownership, so I'll leave it there. No need for "HTH" - I wasn't in need of help, thank you.

My eldest is 8, almost 9 and he’s been questioning Santa for 2 years. However he’s very observant and switched on! I think this year he ‘knows’ but isn’t saying tbh. He has a younger brother who I could probably convince until he’s a teenager 😂

when the time is right and he asks we will tell him the story that now he can be part of that magic for his brother. Makes me very sad though. I’m already thinking maybe he won’t want to come on our Santa visit next year 😭

I would have expected an 8 year old not to believe, even if they keep that from you. Just treat it normally and when they admit it to you, ask them not to spoil it for any younger children in the family.

I’m sorry but the year 6 believers are having you on.

My mother taught years 3 and 4 for decades and said the pattern was the same. The year 3s had lots of questions about the logistics of FCthen by year 4 all the questions stopped as they knew really but played along with it. This was pre internet too.

Nonsense. She may not but you can. Ours are early 20s living full independent lives. Carrot, mince pie and alcohol of choice is still left out. Stockings are filled. Goodies to share eg jigsaw, board game, favourite consumables etc are scattered on the hearth on Christmas morning. Rudolph still drops bits of carrot outside, sometimes sooty footprints on the rug. Santa will continue to come as long as he is welcomed!

This thread has made me realise that DS is in year 6 and kind of has to know this year that he’s not real 😁 obviously he already thinks he’s not real, but I need to make sure he knows it, before secondary. I forgot that is now!
I still think that Santa is real though. Why else are there stocking and presents. You see images of Santa round the neighbourhood all December. Santa definitely exists. Also DS will still get a stocking forever, would just be mean to stop that! And obviously would raise questions for younger DC. I got a stocking until I left home. Never had the ‘is he real’ conversation with my parents, we all just played along and ended up assuming he was not in fact a man who comes into your house at night, but a concept.

I knew,at 6, kept it a secret from my sister until I was 10 (she was 6 then). I remember it as a crushing disappointment in my childhood. The magic came back with my children. My oldest is,10 and autistic. He has asked if Santa is real and I've struggled soooo much as I didn't know how to play it. I could see how that would break his little heart which needs to believe in beautiful, magical things to bear how hard reality can be. I'm actually dreading Christmas this year as I don't want the joy to go so early...

Wow. Big leap from I'm not keen on cats to I'll be abusive to an animal in my house. I'm not keen on animals but a decent human being and very keen on making my children happy. HTH.

I think it's just as magical/lucky to have parents who, after a long and exhausting day, make the effort to arrange that bloody elf (and think up a new place for it, 24 nights in a row argh) compared to it actually being real. I think dd will see it that way and I can't wait for her to help us with it for her brother's benefit.

I think mine now go along with things for me! They are in year 5 and 6 and neither have specifically asked if he is real, but there were a lot of hints last year to suggest they knew it wasn't real. I am still booking a Santa visit this year and expect this will be the last. I don't ever recall my parents telling me he wasn't real, I think it's just one of those things you naturally ignore - especially if you want the Santa stocking!

A lot of kids like to just carry on going along with it, you can still have the traditions for years.

My 8 year old still firmly believes. They are a young 8 and quite naive but I am expecting an arsehole at school to spill all the beans soon.

Ds is in Y6 and still believes, we plan to tell him after Xmas as we feel he needs to know before he starts secondary school

I think it’s totally ok for a child that age to still believe however my DD is 9 and in a mixed year class, so I’m preparing myself that this year may be the year.

Santa has never been the biggest part of Christmas for us though. We make Christmas a big thing throughout December with lots of activities, crafts and Christmas themed games. He brings a small gift at Christmas and fills the stocking, mummy and daddy bring the rest under the tree.

Rather than making it bigger/more special this year, weave more traditions in that will see you through future years