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Original poster

Is this normal or am I a mug?

90 replies

jumpingjaque · 27/09/2025 22:34

Am I in the wrong?

Parrtner is away for a boys weekend. No issues whatsoever but his niece’s 18th was planned for tonight afterwards.

I went, lovely evening with his family etc. I’ve sent him videos and pics of his niece. Nothing back?

He’s commenting on the family chat but not to me directly?

We are both mid to late 40’s so this is not some sort of childish behaviour.

I’m pissed off that I’ve gone out of my way to sort out childcare for an evening to spend with his family and he cannot even acknowledge me? Is this normal?

OP posts:
Original poster
jumpingjaque · 27/09/2025 22:56

Moveoverdarlin · 27/09/2025 22:52

Then why does he need to reply to you too? Jesus there’s only so much you can say about a niece’s 18th birthday.

This wouldn’t bother me. A quick ‘Looks like you all had a great time and the birthday girl looks like she’s having fun’ sent to the family group chat would satisfy me.

If you didn’t want to go to his family do when he’s out on the piss then that’s on you.

Show quote history

Really? Right ok. Obviously on a different wavelength here. If the tables are turned and I was away, he made the effort to go to a family celebration (for whatever reason) I’d be highly grateful and asking how it went etc? Would you not?

OP posts:
meganorks · 27/09/2025 22:54

I can see why it's annoying if he responding to the group chat and not you. But did anything actually require a response? If you sent photos and videos and he's seen them he maybe hasn't seen any need to respond. And then he's responding on the group chat knowing you'll see that. I wouldn't think too much of it.

Clueless12389 · 27/09/2025 22:54

Moveoverdarlin · 27/09/2025 22:52

Then why does he need to reply to you too? Jesus there’s only so much you can say about a niece’s 18th birthday.

This wouldn’t bother me. A quick ‘Looks like you all had a great time and the birthday girl looks like she’s having fun’ sent to the family group chat would satisfy me.

If you didn’t want to go to his family do when he’s out on the piss then that’s on you.

Show quote history

Exactly, once he’s made the appropriate comment about the 18th do, I wouldn’t have expected him to put his phone away and get on with being present with his friends.

but I find it really rude if I’m out with someone and they keep texting other people.

Olaeverybody · 27/09/2025 22:54

I’m sure he’s just distracted and on this occasion it’s family that comes first. You are really overthinking this! Hope I’m right and he can reassure you when you’re next together

Original poster
jumpingjaque · 27/09/2025 22:52

BreakingBroken · 27/09/2025 22:50

is he seeing your msg's? or are your msg's muted and he's only seeing those from the family group what's app?
well if your on the family what's app it's a bit redundant to msg you personally, but i would expect a small side conversation yes.

Edited

Thanks, yes he’s read them but ignored as not replied.

OP posts:
Moveoverdarlin · 27/09/2025 22:52

jumpingjaque · 27/09/2025 22:48

Yes

Show quote history

Then why does he need to reply to you too? Jesus there’s only so much you can say about a niece’s 18th birthday.

This wouldn’t bother me. A quick ‘Looks like you all had a great time and the birthday girl looks like she’s having fun’ sent to the family group chat would satisfy me.

If you didn’t want to go to his family do when he’s out on the piss then that’s on you.

BreakingBroken · 27/09/2025 22:50

is he seeing your msg's? or are your msg's muted and he's only seeing those from the family group what's app?
well if your on the family what's app it's a bit redundant to msg you personally, but i would expect a small side conversation yes.

Original poster
jumpingjaque · 27/09/2025 22:50

Breadcat24 · 27/09/2025 22:41

you are a mug

Why?

OP posts:
Original poster
jumpingjaque · 27/09/2025 22:48

MCF86 · 27/09/2025 22:48

are you on that family group chat?

Yes

OP posts:
Original poster
jumpingjaque · 27/09/2025 22:48

Yes it’s a 40th birthday, I’m not annoyed about the lack of contact, it’s the continued contact on his family group that’s annoying me. I’ve text him, he’s read it and doesn’t respond but replies to his family chat.

OP posts:
MCF86 · 27/09/2025 22:48

are you on that family group chat?

Pippa12 · 27/09/2025 22:45

Reachedtheend · 27/09/2025 22:39

He's on a " boys" weekend but he is a 40 year old man?
What is he doing on this weekend OP? He obviously has reverted to single status and thats why he isn't interacting with you.

Edited

What a strange comment, you can still go away with friends when you’re in your 40’s 😂

Id be frustrated with him not replying, but I think you just get side tracked when away in a group. He probably intended to reply but forgot or thought he didn’t need to be so prompt.

FWIW I personally don’t think there is anything wrong with texting your DH while he’s away. We text throughout the day and probably phone in the morning and evening when either of us are away from home.

Breadcat24 · 27/09/2025 22:41

you are a mug

Reachedtheend · 27/09/2025 22:39

He's on a " boys" weekend but he is a 40 year old man?
What is he doing on this weekend OP? He obviously has reverted to single status and thats why he isn't interacting with you.

Clueless12389 · 27/09/2025 22:39

He’s probably just having fun with his mates. I wouldn’t have contacted my DH at all other than just a text to say he’d landed safely wherever he is.

when’s he home?

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