Is this normal or am I a mug?

This is exactly how I would feel if I made the choice to go it was my choice I dont need specific thanks to go to party

He is rude to not reply, yes, given he is on line, in your place I would be sad and feel like a mug.

Highly grateful? You went to a family party, not in to battle. If you didn’t want to go, you shouldn’t have. He’s replied to the family chat about the party, that’s adequate. Ok, maybe in an ideal world he should have said ‘Thanks for going to Milly’s birthday, hope you had a good night’. But he’s your DH! Why the need for this formality and politeness? He’s out with his mates! Tomorrow he’ll probably say ‘Cheers for making the effort and going to the party, anyone have any news? How’s Aunty Sheila’s hip? She had the op yet?’

Leave him be, he’s done nothing wrong.

Good greif you have really been with some toads to believe this of all gents. Some men really can have a great ‘boys weekends away’ whilst remaining faithful and their flies firmly zipped. Even on stag parties. Similar to myself next summer when I paint the town red with my ‘mid 40’s married girls’ all of us completely devoted to our lovely lads.

Well you might be ok being married to a man who goes on " boys " weekends , and stag dos abroad but I wouldn't be.

I think you are very naive if you think guys who go on these type of stag dos don't include strippers / lap dancers in their trip away - they don't have to go to clubs to enjoy the women. There are strip taxis, strip boat trips, strip meals, strip room service etc A whole industry catering for the type of men who go on these stag dos.
You dont need to tell your H you dont want to know what goes on because he and his pals wouldnt be telling you anyway.
But if you are happy married to a guy who goes on these dos that is your affair. And it 's my right to think that 40 year old men in committed relationships shouldn't be behaving like " boys".

I agree with the second bit of this. You're both out. You know he's alive he knows you're alive. I can't see what you get from texting him unless something has happened which is so terrible or hilarious it can't wait.

OP, I agree. It seems pointed to leave you on read. If he’s responded to them, he could acknowledge your message too. Do you feel taken for granted? Does he feel resentful that you make him feel guilty about it? An honest conversation might be needed here.

But you are also on the group chat so I don't know why you are saying you haven't heard a peep from him? I really wouldn't give this a second thought.

What are the messages? Are they important or irrelevant?

I’d just assume that the replies to the family group chat included me if I was on it. Would be double the work to text about the niece’s party to you and the group chat.

But then my DP texts me lots when he’s away so one evening of this wouldn’t phase me.

If you feel annoyed, it’s probably indicative of bigger problems, or you perceive a lack of interest in you.

Agree 100%
Some people on Mumsnet seem to have a right bee in their bonnet about referring to Women as girls and men as boys.

I say, who gives a flying fuck!

If us grown women are happy referring to ourselves as girls and our husbands/partners are happy being referred to as men then let bloody sleeping dogs lie. We don’t need to be told we’re doing it wrong by the self righteous among us. We’re happy.

very odd comment.
I have practically pushed my almost 40 year old husband onto a plane for a stag do, and told him I don't want to know what you get up to, no need to call (I know him and his pals and trust them implicitly, they will have got drunk but aren't the sort to be lap dancing etc).
Why on MN do people have to be glued to their phones when away and constantly checking in with home? It's so stifling.

Maybe he is just busy out and having a good time and is looking forward to seeing you to catch up properly face to face.
He has acknowledged the party on the family chat, seem that your messages are about the same thing and he doesn’t need to immediately reply.
Its rude to be messaging people when you are out and to me implies boredom or a lack of interest in who you are out with so I never expect messages or replies from people who are out socialising with others.

If he comes home and makes no effort to see you or ask how things went etc that’s entirely different.

@Reachedtheend it’s the same as saying ‘girls weekend’… out with ‘the girls’ etc. We are all responsible, professional and married. I think OP has bigger fish to fry than worry about descriptives.

I would be annoyed by that as well but maybe he thinks you are busy chatting to people at the party and there is no need to reply until later or tomorrow

You sound like you've got the hump because you didn't want to go to the niece's party but have only gone as a massive favour to your DP. But surely you'd only go to this is if you actually wanted to? You had a perfectly valid reason not to.

Does he have form for this kind of behaviour where you feel ignored and unappreciated……surely you wouldn’t write a post about a one off issue?

Gosh what on earth did we do before mobile phones.
imagine having to wait till you got home from a holiday to hear how your nieces 18th went.

Did you choose to arrange childcare to go the party or are you pissed off that you were persuaded to go ?
Im not really sure it’s something he should feel grateful to you for.

If your messages are about the event he probably sees the reply to everyone as including you.

He’s busy, preoccupied and distracted and getting lots of messages.

Yes of course, but only after he’s back home, not right in the middle of his night out.

@Pippa12

What a strange comment, you can still go away with friends when you’re in your 40’s

Of course a 40 year old can go away with friends. But that is not how OP described her partner's trip away.

A 40 year old is not, by any stretch of the imagination a " boy". The only reason for describing a 40 year man as a "boy" is if he behaves like an irresponsible teenager. As is the norm for men who go away on " boys" weekends.