To wish I’d known how crap and miserable being a lone parent is?

Oh OP. We are in very very similar situations but I really do feel sorry for you. Your outlook is so negative and bleak. Please try to find some positives in your life and if you can't, try to make some. Plenty of ideas have been offered upthread

You do sound miserable. It's not a way to live is it. Start helping yourself now or your just going to continue feeling rubbish

There are many many joys in being a single parent, I hope you see your joys soon

Honestly in my experience none of the men on the apps these days are actually worth meeting up with anymore lol but it has provided me with much entertainment each time I try 😂and even when I’ve had time to meet someone for a date it doesn’t seem to go anywhere. But still sometimes it’s nice to find yourself matching with someone and just having a chat, it’s a confidence booster if nothing else… before the inevitable ghosting happens and you question why you even like men in the first place lol.
bit of a random idea but when I was feeling really down about a year ago because I was always stuck at home I decided to take up painting as a hobby. Got some really cheap supplies from The Works to get me started and followed some Bob Ross tutorials on YouTube after the kids were asleep. It was so therapeutic! Are you artistic at all?

Absolutely none of my lone parent friends nor me as a lone parent of over 10 years have ever gone away or done a spa for our birthdays, we simply don’t have the spare cash to spend on ourselves and I say that as someone who earns a very decent salary but still has to count the pennies.
Honestly every few days I need to tell myself I’m doing ok at this parenting game in my own, that’s best I aim for

But you said 'Failing that just wouldn’t have had children'.

They're here and I really don't understand how you could even suggest you'd rather not have them unless you were depressed.

I was a lone parent to 4. I had a friend who would occasionally babysit for a few hours every few weeks as ex was a nightmare then. She had a husband, children and family support on both sides, so I didn't need to reciprocate. She did it because she was my friend so don't be shy to ask. I went to parent and child clubs to socialise.

You say you have one at home full time, is that due to additional needs? If so, is contacting social services an option for respite? You cannot continue the way you are.

Do you have any proper friends? As I mentioned, I socialised WITH my kids. Developed friendships. That's what you need to try and do. People help each other out no matter their circumstances and it helps you feel less alone.

sorry to hear about your situation OP, I’m also a lone parent and I understand the struggle, I can’t imagine how difficult it must be having a child at home full-time. I wanted to comment to second the idea someone mentioned about maybe downloading a dating app or two. Once the kids are in bed it’s a great way to pass a bit of time just chatting even if you aren’t looking to pursue anything. Also it might be worth trying bumble bff (the friend version of bumble) to look for a new friend who may be in a similar situation to you and can relate, it’s so validating speaking to people who have experienced the same things.
I also wanted to suggest trying video games if you haven’t already! It can be a great way to escape for a while if you find a game you love and if you play online then it can even be a good way to meet new people that you can chat with, and often there’s no obligation to ever meet them in real life but it’s a good way to socialise when you aren’t able to go out.
I wonder if you could even find some kind of remote work that you could do in the evenings, are you any good at typing? I once did some freelance work for a transcribing company online which was great for a bit of extra money.
all of this to say it really is okay not to be okay and it’s good that you have posted here even if you just feel like you need to vent.

Sending you a big hug😘. Parenting is stressful, parenting on your own is doubly-so.

Is there a 'Gingerbread' group (single parent charity) near you, so you can meet others in a similar situation, who might offer some support? Or 'Home Start' is another one that might offer help and support?

It will get easier - hang in there!💪

They will be able to tell. And studies have shown that the mothers happiness directly affects the child's happiness whether the mum thinks she's hiding it or not. They can tell

OP - I totally understand. I was left with a small baby - my life was literally turned upside down overnight - and it was incredibly hard.

Life as a single parent IS hard but I can totally understand why so many have suggested speaking to the gp. Depression or exhaustion, whatever the cause, there are things the OP could do to find some tiny pocket of happiness in each day.

Despite the fact that you may have made different decisions in hindsight, you didn't. You chose to have children and you owe it to all of you to not just 'give up' but make any changes you can, no matter how small. Don't teach your children that life 'happens' to you and you can't change any of it. How must it be for them to only know an environment of sadness and hopelessness?

I am a lone parent. My exh left when I was pregnant with our 4th child. I know it's hard and I'm sorry you feel so hopeless. You do need to talk to someone and it is up to you to do so. You are young and you are worthy of feeling more than this

That's poor. Sorry, esp if you admitted you're struggling. Sorry.

I am a sole parent of 2, after being widowed in 2023. It is the hardest, most relentless life. I just try to survive and by the end of each day I am on my knees. I also have no support, no time off- and though my children are a bit older - their needs just change, rather than diminish, with the addition of life-decisions and stages like exams, dealing with all the issues that having teens brings. They are a bit more independent now, which gives me some light at the end of the tunnel, and I want to give you that hope. But it’s exhausting. I have no practical support.
People don’t / can’t understand this life, and that makes it even harder and more lonely. Not having a break ever, is soul-destroying.

i don’t really have any advice, just wanted to say that your feelings are totally valid. Just remember to breathe when it gets too much - I find this simple act does help in a small way.

@RibenaRibena
Have you checked out this organization? I'm linking to the groups page.

www.gingerbread.org.uk/your-community/groups/

Or unhappiness and exhaustion, why are so many people on here pushing her to take pills, pills will not change her situation

Would more money help? Can you scramble up the career ladder at all, make things a bit more comfortable?

What an asshole…….I would definitely be speaking to the lazy ass about this again and insist that he takes them at least part of the day on Saturdays and Sundays……it’s not like the idiot has a job or doesn’t have the time, if he is not paying you maintenance the least he could do is take them off your hands for a bit at the weekend !

The friend I have who walks the same path as me (entirely alone, very little practical support) is a really great support emotionally for me, and me for her. Obviously we rarely see each other, but we chat quite a bit. We just get it w/o having to explain.

Would the council or social services help with respite for your child with additional needs?

I found them both really helpful, social services referred me for a personal carers budget and it is in the rules that it can only be spent on the parent , not our child.

See what "short break care" schemes your council has because you should be eligible for it

It can be weekends, childminders, holidays ect,