To wish I’d known how crap and miserable being a lone parent is?

Was going to say the same thing.

This honestly sounds like depression.

@RibenaRibena my bestie is a single parent. Dad lives in another country and never even acknowledged their child.

Her life is tough but fulfilling.

Life is what you make of it. Perhaps join in with your local community a but more, make some friends.

Life is what you make of it.

It's hard, but comparing what others are doing for their birthdays etc is going to make you feel down. The majority of what people portray is fake- just because they went to a spa doesn't mean they had a good time.
Also waiting for life to improve when your children have left home isn't the answer, you won't be able to immediately have the perfect life then.
I have found antidepressants useful when my situation has got me very down. Please consider them as they might just give you the foot up to start making things become or at least seem more positive.

A symptom of depression.

Seriously, go to your GP.

Some of us genuinely are happy being on our own with our children. I've had fwb over the years and ended things with my last one because he started talking about wanting a relationship with me.

Absolutely.

I'm sorry you're feeling this way OP, but it's not universal. I'm widowed, I never made the choice to parent alone but this is how it is and I'll be damned if I waste my life being unhappy. Is there nothing you enjoy in life at all?

Does the father pay maintenance or ever see them?,

I completely agree. But the first step is to see what help is available.

Please explore support through your GP.

Being a single parent is tough. It probably helps for me that I chose it, so didn't have the hurt and rejection you had. I knew there would have been a huge gap in my life without children, so I went into adoption and single parenthood with my eyes open.

But if you don't find pleasure in anything, I think you might be depressed (medically, not 'feeling a bit low').

I am now a grandparent. I was a single parent even when said parent was in the familial home. When I got rid it was hard. Harder than anything, at least if you have a useless human being in your home said useless human can at least keep an eye.

Flying as a solo parent is the hardest job on the world

To everyone insisting that OP is depressed, are you familiar with situational depression?

Basically she's feeling like crap not because there's anything wrong with her brain chemistry, but because she's in a shit situation. So how she's feeling is just the natural reaction to that.

Trying not to say this in a patronising way but, when I’ve been struggling with mental health in the past, one of the big red flags on the assessment questionnaire is not finding pleasure or interest in things day to day. I know it’s an over used assertion on MN but it sounds like you are depressed. (Probably due to how tough you are finding it) Have a chat with your GP, maybe look into a CBT referral. If you contact your local family hub they can often talk through this kind of situation with you (feeling overwhelmed and alone in parenting) and offer practical and emotional support.

I hear you loud and clear OP. No one who hasn't done it can understand. Solo parenting with no family support is gruelling and sodding relentless. The only thing I can say is it does get better when they get some independence. Mine are 14 now and I have a life at last. I just wanted to say I hear you and am sending a hug 🙂

Same here. Just myself and one DC at home. Am really happy. Sure, money is very tight, and sometimes it can feel a bit much, but I worked really hard a few years ago to adapt my mindset generally to living in the moment more, and to recognise how fortunate I am in a hundred different ways.

I don’t have much (if any!) time without the DC being present (outside of school and work), and I haven’t had a decent shag in a couple of years, but the alternative was much, much worse.

I wonder if the difference is in the fact that I left my ex, rather than him leaving me. He was a feckless cunt and life is infinitely richer and more pleasurable without him stinking up the place.

Edited to add: I’m sorry OP, when it’s bad it feels relentless. Is there any way you can carve out some time to work out what makes you happy?

I too think there’s more going on here op, you sound so so down. I’m another who loves being a single parent. Can you tell us a bit more about what specifically gets you down and what the ages of your children are?

I realise that is very hurtful and difficult to deal with. Was it recent?

Does your child go to any clubs? Scouts for example would give you a bit of time in the evening. Plus they go away for a few nights a couple of times a year.
Sleepovers with friends? Reciprocating sleepovers gives you some nights off. Even just dinner at a yours and then a friend's house one evening a week.