To think of your child is 5+ and still can’t behave in public, you’re the problem?

Your edited response had no less attitude than the first.

Funny, the first thing you mentioned was basic manners.

I’ve had a look. You need to stop being so interested in what other people’s kids do. I thought you meant smashing supermarkets up, not hitting siblings who are none of your business.

What kinds of public disruption are we talking about?

When you know you know...... you obviously do not know. yabVu

I wouldn't describe your posts or observations as thoughtful.

There are so many adults who behave badly in public that I can't really get exercised about the odd screaming kid.

No child is perfect, no adult is perfect, no day is perfect.

Not a parent then OP ? .Expecting impeccable behaviour off an overwhelmed 5 year old in a pub is ridiculous.

Oh God, this has reminded me of the time a 6 or 7 year old DD completely lost it in a restaurant. I ended up carrying and cuddling her in the car park and getting the MOST judgemental looks for 'allowing' her to misbehave.

What they didn't know, of course, was that DD is adopted, and her early years were characterised by severe neglect, including frequently not having enough food, to the point she stopped growing. Food was a huge trigger. She had gone into toddler survival mode, and needed comfort and reassurance.

But the onlookers saw a 6 or 7 year old throwing a tantrum and being 'indulged' with cuddles rather than being 'disciplined'.

A decade on DD hasn't had a meltdown in years, is relaxed about food, and is thriving. But that outing was certainly memorable - not because of what DD did, but because of the judgemental looks.

Another memorable moment was a neighbour thinking DD was being attacked by an intruder because her screams were so loud and went on so long. In fact, DD had thought her pork chop was smaller than her older sister's pork chop (it was the same size). Luckily our neighbour was lovely, and as well as coming to rescue DD then helped defuse the situation.

Happy days...

So you accept only some, like yourself, were raised in homes where respect and structure existed despite hardship and yet you think everyone should raise their children the way you do, despite the fact they may not have been raised in such a virtuous way themselves?

I'm sure you've done a good job. You don't have to look down on others who don't meet your parents' standards.

But how would you know how frequent an occurrence it was? Why pay so much attention to strangers?

But you don't know anything about these families.

You're just judging.

What is the purpose of this judging, why do you feel the need to do it?

Kids running around in a pub garden? That's one of the points of a pub garden!

But I did have to intervene today as two kids were running a public tap contunously whilst a parent / carer stood meters away chatting. No apparent additional needs, they were just bored.

Last weekend, I was a sporting event when a mum clearly asked her 10/11 yo to carry something of his. He ignored her and she didn't follow up. I was astounded.

It is hard not to feel some parents cba to parent.

Also re parents not responding to bad behaviour sometimes kids are looking for reaction and it’s best not to give it to them, sometimes you just need to get through the supermarket shop and you’ll deal with the bad behaviour when you’re home. Just because you don’t witness the parent dealing with it immediately doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen.

When a child is having a full scale tantrum there is no point trying to talk to them, they're not able to listen or taken in any of your messaging. It's perfectly sensible to calmly wait until they've finished screaming, then address what happened and any consequences. It's also reasonable not to want to shower attention on poor behaviour, like having a tantrum. On the rare occasion that my child has a public tantrum, assuming we're in a public space like a supermarket, not at someone's wedding reception or I calmly wait nearby until she's finished screaming, then engage with her. I imagine you would regard this, in passing, as permissively ignoring it, but this approach has resulted in a very happy, generally extremely well behaved child, who almost never has tantrums.

You have no idea what could be going on.

Neurodiversity - diagnosed or not, something awful happening at home, illness are just a few reasons I can think of for kids to play up. Sometimes you just catch them at a bad moment.

Unless this is a family you know well, and see regularly, let them get on with it.

How do YOU know what is going on with that child ( and/ or their parent/s?) Job loss, poverty, hunger, depression, DV. Maybe the child hasn’t been diagnosed yet? Maybe the child has a chaotic home life? So many variables and you are judging based on a snapshot?

I’m sorry @ThatDeepGoose but your posts aren’t making sense. You’ve said you’re not talking about people you know, you’re referring to strangers, but you’ve also referred to repeated and consistent behaviour. How can you possibly know whether a strange kids behaviour is repeated or consistent? How can you know they have no boundaries? You’re observing a single instance which you can’t possibly extrapolate into a pattern of behaviour.

Are you perfect? Kids have off days. And parents have off days. Sometimes they happen at the same time.