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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to make my son keep learning Spanish after GCSE?

38 replies

SassyBear2 · 27/09/2025 18:23

My son, DS16, did really well in his GCSEs this year, achieving 10 grade 9s, including Spanish. He’s now doing Chemistry, Biology, and Maths at A-level. During GCSEs, we arranged for him to speak with a native Spanish speaker for an hour each week. She doesn’t speak any English, so he has to speak Spanish the whole time. The sessions aren’t formal lessons, just a conversation to keep his skills alive.

Now that he’s completed his Spanish GCSE, he wants to stop these sessions. He says he can’t be bothered to continue learning Spanish and believes he won’t use it in the future since he already speaks English. I understand I can’t force him, but as a parent, I feel responsible for guiding him. AIBU to encourage him to continue? Is Spanish a useful skill for him, even if he doesn’t see an immediate need for it?

OP posts:
Slothey · 27/09/2025 18:31

Oh please leave the poor boy alone.

You are, of course, right that it could be useful. But having it forced on him by his mother when he’s nearly an adult and already very busy is the quickest way to put him off and sour your relationship.

Lindy2 · 27/09/2025 18:31

He's reaching the age where you can't make him do something he doesn't want to do.

If he wanted to carry on doing this then great but if he doesn't want to then it's time to let go a bit. He's obviously a talented and diligent student. Let him focus on tge subjects he chosen for A'level.

You could suggest he does Dulingo if he wants to keep his Spanish ticking over on a more informal basis. Perhaps book a holiday to a Spanish speaking country so he can have real life conversations.

Octavia64 · 27/09/2025 18:30

A levels are tough.

I’d focus on those.

i only have gcse french but I have kept it up by watching French films and tv on Netflix. You can also get French books (or Spanish books) quite cheaply.

some places have meet ups in a pub or coffee shop for Spanish/french conversation which don’t cost a lot of money.

LasVegass · 27/09/2025 18:29

You can’t make him do it. He’s working hard as it is. He might come round to it again when the time is right for him.

Original poster
SassyBear2 · 27/09/2025 18:29

Thanks for the reply. He’s currently undecided between engineering and medicine. I honestly don’t think he’ll use Spanish much in everyday life, but you never know, and it would be a shame to lose a skill he’s worked hard to acquire. Knowing another language can open up career opportunities, make travel easier, and is excellent for developing thinking and problem-solving skills

OP posts:
Talipesmum · 27/09/2025 18:28

Yes it’s useful and a great skill. He absolutely might well use it in the future. But you can’t make him. If he doesn’t want to learn it any more, at age 16, you’re helping nobody by making him do it. It’s not fair on the native speaker either.

FWIW I managed - badly, but improving - 20 years after my French gcse when I ended up in a totally French speaking household with no backup for a week. It was a muddle but it did come back to me.

stayathomegardener · 27/09/2025 18:28

Could he be encouraged (bribed) with a Spanish trip?

RockyRogue1001 · 27/09/2025 18:28

Give the kid a break, he's doing A'Levels and 2 of them are known to be very challenging (and the 3rd isn't easy)

Littletreefrog · 27/09/2025 18:27

Good luck making a child of 16 plus do anything they don't want to do

theresapossuminthekitchen · 27/09/2025 18:27

You’re not being unreasonable to suggest it, or I guess ‘encourage’ it (assuming that’s not just a short way of saying that you’re going on and on about it) but you would be unreasonable to try to force him to continue when he doesn’t really want to at his age - it would probably be counter-productive.

Bournetilly · 27/09/2025 18:27

I can see why you want him to continue and I’m sure it would benefit him in the future but you can’t force him.

Would he be willing to speak to them for 30 mins each week instead? If not I’d make sure he was aware of any benefits but ultimately it’s his decision.

TillyButtonGrundy · 27/09/2025 18:26

It sounds like you’ve already encouraged him and made the offer to continue, I don’t think you should do more than that. He’s 16 and sounds like he’s doing really well. A-levels can be hard work and if he wants to focus on those I think that’s fine.

To answer your other question, I think being fluent in another language is always a great thing but you can’t force it and he can pick it back up later if he wishes.

DashboardConfession · 27/09/2025 18:25

I have a degree in French and Spanish and I haven't used it since graduation. If he's going down a sciencey path he won't need it.