To end my relationship to concentrate on my daughter.

Single mum here too and the one time I dated the bf said "you always put your kids above me!" as if that was a bad thing. He went in the bin. Most men don't get that they don't become your primary reason for being just because you share a bed with them. I haven't dated since and so many friends are on about how I should "get back on the market" etc - like I'm a frigging cow being sold. I don't want it! I want to enjoy my kids, be a mum to my kids, make a nice home for them. I don't want to be going through the faff of dressing in suspenders on my 1 night off so some porn prepped goon might have sex with me, then might deign to stay. Why? So he can take up the last remaining free time I might have and make my house a mess? So overrated.

Emotional problems left to fester in children invariably become massive in the teenage years and harder to solve.
You will be left to navigate this.
Also you are coming across as feeling very dominated and powerless in this relationship with a controlling man.
Think what you are modelling to a child with difficulties and a useless father.

Controlling men don't care what you want or your daughters needs, its 100% all about them.
This is such a bad environment for your struggling child.

Yes, I would.
She deserves to be put first, these years are so important for giving her a secure foundation to build on, she'll need the extra support when her dad is flaky.
Well done for considering this.
You'll thank your future self.

... they demand a lot of my time, like trying to see me everyday even coming into my work and sulks if I have to cancel plans because of DD.

YANBU to end the relationship; the above would be more than enough reason even without the specific part about your DD. He's controlling and manipulative and it'll likely only get worse. But please don't give her the idea that she has anything to do with your ending it; you're ending it because THIS relationship isn't healthy and doesn't work for you, and that's absolutely your decision and your right.

If you and the ex have a 50/50 arrangement, and he continues to renege, consider adjusting the CAO (or getting one in place, if it's currently an informal arrangement). If he's falling below his allocated 182 nights a year, make sure you're getting whatever CMS you're entitled to. It's piggish of him to do what he's doing BECAUSE of the impact on your child; don't make it easy for him.

You 'end this for your daughter' by modeling, to her, how you're ending this for yourself.

The ex is irrelevant

A grown man who sulks when he doesn't get what he wants is manipulative, and not worth the effort.

End it for your sake and your dd's.

Get rid of this demanding controlling person.....he sounds abusive.

Your daughter needs your attention and you would be wise to focus on her needs before her emotional neglect becomes a serious issue.

He father is a loser, clearly, but you will be left picking up the pieces of her emotional issues.

Dump the loser. Take a complete break from men.
Do the www.freedomprogramme.co.uk

Focus on your daughter.
You won't regret it.

@AutumnHibernator

If a grown adults sulks because you quite rightly prioritise your child when necessary, they need to be set loose immediately, regardless of the fact that your poor girl has a selfish twat for a father.

Just focus on you & your daughter for a bit. Be her constant. She'll see that at some point & forever appreciate it.

Yes please do end it and prioritize your child.

This post has touched a nerve as by a strange twist of fate I ended up having dinner with my late ex stepdad's daughter and we both shared a lot of stuff about growing up with her dad (who she was NC for 30 years before he died). It brought a lot of memories flooding back, mainly how he worked tirelessly to prevent my mun giving me any attention.

I remember I'd sometimes bump into her in the kitchen (I had to use a separate sitting room and was only allowed in the kitchen for one hour in the morning and the evening) and it would be like a stolen moment together before he'd appear shouting from that living room to come back.

She was gobsmacked and honestly so was I. It didn't begin like that but he wore her down.

She asked me am I angry with my mother now for letting it happen and I said no I let it go but I also let her go emotionally and haven't fell close to her for decades.

Don't let this happen.

Your partner shouldn't be sulking. He should understand you and your DC are a team and admire that you are a good parent trying to do the right thing.

Get rid of him.

Why on earth are so many posters being so horrid? You can say what you think without being so derogatory, some PPs sound like they are screaming at the OP.

These might be separate issues but our lives don't generally compartmentalize like that nor do things always seem so clear from the inside.

OP, ignore the abuse. I think your relationship sounds terrible and you should end it, but you also need to speak to your ex, the way he is behaving is not fair on your daughter or you. He can't just cancel when it's his time, perhaps saying he needs to sort his own childcare rather than expect you to step in might focus his mind a bit?

If it's emotionally draining, you should get out for your own well being AS WELL as for your daughter.

Both you and your ex seem to be putting getting sex above your daughter. You're as bad as each other. Poor girl.

I voted YABU you can end your relationship for whatever reason you feel like but don’t you dare use your DD as your scapegoat that’s not fair on her she’s going through enough with her dad being so useless don’t make things worse for her by making her the reason you want out of your current relationship.

I think both you should always have your daughter’s needs first but regardless of being a parent or not, being with a controlling man is a terrible idea and you should leave him. But not because of your daughter - because you deserve better

The fact you have even had to ask that says the relationship should end. It's not a healthy relationship.

Healthy relationships should not be " demanding and emotionally draining" and you are at this time, teaching DD how she should be treated. And to " sulk" if you have to prioritise your daughter is an immediate red flag, that your DD will feel even if she doesn't see or hear.

Don't be that parent. And show DD that she does have one parent that will always put her first.

I'm living proof that if you don't, she will never forgive you, despite anything you try and do to offset the choice you made for the rest of your life.

Lone parent here ditch the boyfriend and focus on your DD and your career. I did and have no regrets.

End the relationship because 'they' are a nightmare.

Wow some judgey posters on here op!

But as a few have said, your relationship doesn’t sound healthy or happy. It sounds like you need to focus on you (and yes, definitely your daughter too) and tell him to go and be a baby somewhere else.

Your partner sounds controlling. Apologies for catastrophising, but do you feel safe ending it?

Your poor daughter has TWO parents who have prioritised dating above spending time with her.
Poor girl!

It’s sounds like you can’t give the time you want to your daughter and keep this man happy. Definitely end it, if he can’t see why your dd is your priority not him he’s not worth it.

“…can be emotionally draining and demanding”.

“…makes life very hard work”

Speaks volumes. Relationships shouldn’t be like this. He sounds like a petulant child, having a toddler tantrum when you don’t prioritise him. I guess he’s making you feel guilty when you put your child first.

End the relationship. Look after your child. Find yourself a decent fella who acknowledges that your dc always comes first.

Your ex was awful and now your current boyfriend is awful. Dump him, focus on your daughter and before you date again do the Freedom Programme.

If your romantic relationship is emotional draining and demanding then you should end it for your own sake.