To be upset about my mum's holiday

OP, She shouldn’t be going on holiday at all. What if you need her for child care?

Christ alive. Do you expect the poor woman to put her life on hold so it doesn't overlap with your kids' birthdays? Just be grateful you've got a lovely mum who does childcare for you. It's not even standard practice for grandparents to attend every single birthday of their grandchildren. Who the hell expects that? I think you're jealous because she's going with your sister and not you, so this thread is a load of disingenuous bullshit anyway.

I understand you're disappointed but she's your Mum, not their Mum.

What kind of holiday is it? Often there are only certain dates with things like cruises and prices can vary with all holidays. Sometimes you are tying in with a specific event too. Or perhaps, which you won’t like to hear, the dates of birthdays just aren’t imprinted on others in the same way, does she even get invited? My dm rarely came up on my dc’s birthdays as she worked!

You don’t mention your sister’s children so she doesn’t have any? Which means maybe your mum spends a lot more time with you because she looks after your kids and is always available for their special events. So, on the occasion, she is putting your sister first as this is the time that they want to go so they’re going.

You just need to accept that you aren’t the centre of attention really.

It sounds like you are a bit too possessive of your mum’s time just because you have kids.

Your sister is entitled to time with her mum too.

I hope you mum takes a lot more time for herself and you don’t take her for granted as free childcare.

What do you do for your mum to show you appreciate her?

My mum is my absolute best friend and a brilliant grandmother…I wouldn’t give this a second thought.

Do not mention your disappointment to her under any circumstances!

Yes, YABU, and ridiculous and petty and entitled (as pp said).

I'd have had to have given my head a wobble before saying anything apart from 'enjoy your holiday mum'.

I don't imagine you'd miss your holiday if the only dates you could take it clashed with your mum's birthday - or grandma's birthday either come to that. It's weird make this about your DC's birthdays 'not being important to her'. Feels very guilt-trippy and immature. Hopefully all these replies will have given you some perspective.

My lovely mum has not been to a single birthday party of my kids!

You sound incredibly spoilt tbh. Such a shame your mum felt the need to justify to you the reason for booking a holiday around that time. Give your head a wobble and if you expressed these feelings, apologise to her. How ridiculous.

🍪

I feel like there's a back story here involving resentment with your sister or how your Mum treats you and this is just one in a line of many things?

Because honestly, taking the information you've provided you would be very unreasonable. You can celebrate with her when she comes back.

Nah, I'd be upset too. I wouldn't miss my gc or children's birthdays for a holiday, ever. I guess some people don't see that as important but I do

just see her before or after her holiday and try to make sure your self centred attitude doesn't cast a shade over her holiday - apparently the only one she is having next year.

Not everything in other peoples lives revolve around you and your kids. You mum is entitled to her life so let her live it

Yep, ridiculous. My son will only see us on his birthday, and then family are coming round the weekend. I’m sure your kids won’t care that she isn’t there, just see her before or after.

You sound utterly ridiculous. I can’t believe a grown adult would be looking to make an issue out of something so trivial. You need to grow up.

I’m assuming these are her only grandchildren? Seems a bit odd that she chose to go on holiday during the exact period all her grandchildren have their birthdays, there are 356 other days she could have gone. Do you think she might be trying to avoid their birthdays? Children’s birthday parties aren’t fun for adults.

Is it “fine” to be disappointed though?

says a lot about the person if they’re “disappointed” in this scenario

Just have the kids' birthday party after mum comes back. She'll probably bring some great presents from her trip, too.

It's fine to be disappointed but don't share that with her. Presumably you can still celebrate their birthdays with her before/after she goes. She is regularly in your life (maybe more so than your sister?) and these are the dates that work for the holiday, so I'd let it go.

Beyond ridiculous. You have a lovely mum who is fully supportive. She has given you plenty of notice. You can't expect her to plan her life around your children's birthdays. Tell her you are delighted she is getting a well deserved rest and break.

I have voted unreasonable but I don't judge you forward. You can be disappointed that your mum won't be there without begrudging her her holiday. And if the children are upset then explain that you will have separate family party with Grandma when she is home.

This
Get some perspective OP.
Your mum is extensively involved in your children's lives.
I hope your mum enjoys her holiday

Yabu. You do sound entitled and jealous.

If your kids are upset, tell them they can have an extra celebration with grandma when she gets back