To be upset about my mum's holiday

Same here. Your children can celebrate their birthdays with their grandma before or after the holiday, it really isn't a big deal, it's not their eighteenth or fortieth and they will have had, and no doubt will have, more birthdays.

I only had one child but his birthday frequently fell during half term when we would go away so celebrations were often on a weekend before or after. Nobody minded.

Glad to be of service. I would hate for you to be spouting that sort of radical thinking out and about!

@saraclara you absolutely should go.

It looks as though there's a light at the end of the tunnel, and I'll be able to get away in a few weeks and potentially visit family on the other side of the world.

@saraclara Go!!! Your daughter & grandchildren here will cope for one year. They have you every other year.

Whew!

This thread is well timed for me. I'm a grandma who's not been able to get away on a holiday of her own because life has been pretty shit and I haven't felt able to escape being needed to handle stuff here.

It looks as though there's a light at the end of the tunnel, and I'll be able to get away in a few weeks and potentially visit family on the other side of the world. But that will be over a period where both my grandchildren have their birthdays. But if I don't go then, it will be both unaffordable and inconvenient (returning just before Christmas).

Obviously I'd like to be around for the birthdays (though I generally don't get to see them on the day itself) so I'm struggling with how I might feel not being around, and how my daughter and little granddaughters might feel about it. The older grandchild (6) is already talking about her birthday on the assumption that I'll be there.

I'm glad to see that most people thing is okay. But I'm still a bit uncomfortable about it, even though I know my daughter almost certainly won't have a problem with it.

I agree with this as surely no adult could get upset about when someone takes a holiday

Oh thanks for catching me up on that @ginasevern I stand corrected.

Clearly, I was suffering from wrongthink. Ideas about independence in any woman - particularly if they're past child-bearing age - must be nipped in the bud.

phew!!

of course I’m joking!

@Broccolitime thanks, but you’re wrong. Mind your business.

Your wider family's lives and holidays do not revolve around you and your children's birthdays. The have lives too. You are being VV unreasonable and this really is not the end of the world.

You are joking? A kids birthday party - are you even having one - vs going on holiday at a time that suits her and another person . Right , give me those sausage rolls rather than a cocktail in the sun . Ha 😂

You are being completely unreasonable! I could possibly understand if your children were twins and it were their 1st birthday. But outside of that - this sounds very entitled!

@ParmaVioletTea "Why are you so angry about her having her own life?"

Ah, you obviously didn't get the memo. It's because grandmothers only exist in the context of their grandchildren. It's illegal for them to have a life outside of this. As women they are seriously deficient and probably evil if they think (let alone do) otherwise.

What a shame you can't be happy for your Mum having a holiday. I'm guessing you don't have a great relationship with your sister. Is there more to this? Does your Mum spend more time with your sister than you? She is 100% not being unreasonable. I'm sure she will love to see your DCs either before she goes or when she's home. She can't revolve her life plans around your DCs birthdays - that wouldn't be fair.

Yabu

Why does she need to be at home for your children’s birthdays? Am I missing something here?

My god. Is this post real? Sorry, I don’t mean to be harsh but I’d do anything for a grandparent to help with childcare. And I’d never expect them to work their holiday around milestone birthdays not a mind kid’s birthdays.

The hardest but best bit of advice I’ve ever received after I gave birth was the following “no one is as interested in your children as you are” and honestly, brutal as it sounds it’s so true. It doesn’t mean grandparents and family love them less, it just means that our kids aren’t always other people’s priorities. Things come before them, and honestly it’s how it should be. Don’t take it so personally, be glad you have them as much as you do, and wish them well on their holiday. If you feel really hard done by then get two birthday cakes for the girls and do a family birthday party before the holiday. Either way it’s just not a big deal.

Gosh, I assumed that @Cherrytree86 was joking. Is she not??? She's unreasonable as well ...

YABU. Sounds more like jealousy tbh.your mum deserves a good holiday,- let her be

Grandmother's are their own people too op, she's done her shift as mother to young children and is even on hand to you for childcare, which perhaps you are taking for granted because you sound very possessive of her and her time.

You need to really understand that she can book a holiday for whenever she pleases, this is her time now and whatever she gives to you is not to be expected.

I would assume the poster is joking had I not encountered this poster on other threads!

😎

Why should your mother be more intent on celebrating your DCs' birthdays than spending time with her own daughter? When it comes down to it, her daughter is going to be more important to her than her grandchildren's birthdays.

It sounds like you get a lot of help from your mother, and she's an involved grandparent. Why are you so angry about her having her own life?

Yeah, YABU. Just tell her to have a lovely time and ask if she can come by for tea to jointly celebrate your DC's birthdays when she gets back - or before she leaves. DC love extended birthdays where you celebrate with family one day, friends another, relatives at the weekend. It's great.