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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be fuming DH forgot school shoes AGAIN?

163 replies

solitudehiker · 27/09/2025 10:58

Right so I sent DH into Clarks yesterday because DS2’s school shoes are literally falling apart sole coming off flapping around and I said PLEASE just get him black school shoes any black school shoes that fit his feet I don’t care what brand

He comes back smug as anything with… black TRAINERS 😑 like proper sporty ones not even pretending to be school shoes says “it’s all they had in his size” and now of course DS2 thinks they’re amazing and is buzzing to wear them

Except school are super strict and will 100% say no trainers allowed then I’ll be the one trying to explain it Monday morning and DS2 will have a meltdown because he wanted to wear them and I’ll look like the crap mum who can’t get it right

DH is now saying I’m being dramatic and “they’re basically the same thing” 🙄 and if school say anything he’ll “have a word” but he won’t be the one stood in the playground while the teacher side-eyes me

AIBU to be absolutely fuming and tempted to just go buy the right ones today even though money is tight and I’ll have to drag all 5 DC with me because DH has now “gone to watch the match with his mates” 😩

OP posts:
TwinklySquid · 28/09/2025 20:55

solitudehiker · 27/09/2025 13:03

Thanks all yep 100% weaponised incompetence 😂 he even admitted he didn’t bother asking in the shop if they had actual school shoes he just grabbed the first pair that fit

I think I’ll drag the kids out later and just swap them I cba with the Monday morning drama and DS2 having a strop before school 🙄 DH will absolutely NOT be doing drop off Monday he leaves for work at 6am so no chance but I might email school if there’s an issue and give them his number just to be petty 😂

Honestly why is it always me who ends up sorting this stuff I swear if I left it to him they’d all be in mismatched socks and PE kits for life

You have this problem as you seem to laugh off his incompetence. If he had to go in Monday morning and deal with it, he wouldn’t do it again.

Catcooper25uk · 28/09/2025 20:25

Is there a reason why you couldn't have done it yourself in the 1st place whilst husband made himself useful watching the rest of the kids? I dont know if im just being dense or is was this not the obvious thing to do in the 1st place? Especially since you mentioned how useless he is with things like this. I dont think I could go mad about this Especially if its something I could have just done myself.

StressedOutButProudMama · 28/09/2025 19:14

solitudehiker · 27/09/2025 10:58

Right so I sent DH into Clarks yesterday because DS2’s school shoes are literally falling apart sole coming off flapping around and I said PLEASE just get him black school shoes any black school shoes that fit his feet I don’t care what brand

He comes back smug as anything with… black TRAINERS 😑 like proper sporty ones not even pretending to be school shoes says “it’s all they had in his size” and now of course DS2 thinks they’re amazing and is buzzing to wear them

Except school are super strict and will 100% say no trainers allowed then I’ll be the one trying to explain it Monday morning and DS2 will have a meltdown because he wanted to wear them and I’ll look like the crap mum who can’t get it right

DH is now saying I’m being dramatic and “they’re basically the same thing” 🙄 and if school say anything he’ll “have a word” but he won’t be the one stood in the playground while the teacher side-eyes me

AIBU to be absolutely fuming and tempted to just go buy the right ones today even though money is tight and I’ll have to drag all 5 DC with me because DH has now “gone to watch the match with his mates” 😩

Send dad to school with him and email the school before they go and advise if any issues in next few days can they call dad as your busy. Then see if he will defend his decision.

Spinmerightroundbaby · 28/09/2025 18:27

Bearbookagainandagain · 27/09/2025 11:01

Ask him for the receipt and go exchange them, dont buy a new pair.

Although I'd be tempted to let him deal with it.

This. He’s an AH.

Laurmolonlabe · 28/09/2025 18:24

He has to do Monday morning, no excuses, he makes a decision against what everyone tells him, he, not you has to face the music not you- that will knock the smug look off his face. Going to watch the match with his mates when you have to sort out a mess he has made AND look after 5 children is just NOT acceptable.

Washingupdone · 28/09/2025 18:04

Surely the shop will recognize their own stock and will be able to look back on their receipts, to match your bank account.
Put DS in old shoes/trainers and explain to teacher you are on the way to the shop and give her your DH’s phone number.

shhblackbag · 28/09/2025 00:47

Papadulo · 27/09/2025 14:59

Your DH spends the whole weekend watching football whilst you do battle with 5 children?
Mate, how is this fair?

Apparently, he does "a lot when he's here". Baffling. Dude has it made.

FrodoBiggins · 27/09/2025 21:57

FrodoBiggins · 27/09/2025 18:33

I'm going to enjoy it even more when Wolves get beaten later 🙌

Aww throwing away 3 points right at the end is nearly as good.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 27/09/2025 20:53

You have to ask yourself why he doesn’t care enough about your DS enough to make sure he doesn’t go to school in the wrong shoes

SirBasil · 27/09/2025 20:48

I’m not defending him going straight to the pub tomorrow either that has wound me up

So put your foot down. Tell him the shoes need to be sorted tomorrow. By him. And if he doesn't? tell the school to call him not you. If they do call just say "oh i know my husband is a twat, but what can you do, eh?"

I just know if I wait for him to sort it DS2 will end up wearing the wrong shoes Monday and then I’ll get the call from school

I had sympathy. Now i just think you're a bit silly and i really don't know why you're posting here at all. just to annoy the rest of us?

WhiteRosesAndThistles · 27/09/2025 20:29

This reply has been deleted

Withdrawn at poster's request

So if she's on mat leave she will have had time to get the shoes during the week?

cardibach · 27/09/2025 19:17

mathanxiety · 27/09/2025 19:08

Agree.

If more dads were left to take care of the million and one piddling details of school life, I think it would be a safe bet that there would be no stupid uniforms, and no more world book days, bake sales, costume days, pajama days, etc.

Schools rely far too much on the good will of women.

Show quote history

No, men do. There’s no reason men aren't in charge of all that except that women protect them.

Anchorage56 · 27/09/2025 19:14

Any thoughts on having no. 6?

Readyforslippers · 27/09/2025 19:11

mathanxiety · 27/09/2025 19:08

Agree.

If more dads were left to take care of the million and one piddling details of school life, I think it would be a safe bet that there would be no stupid uniforms, and no more world book days, bake sales, costume days, pajama days, etc.

Schools rely far too much on the good will of women.

Show quote history

There's a lot of research that does suggest uniform is a good thing. I don't personally care eeither way, but this school has rules, the dad knew them and just couldn't be bothered to make sure his child had what was needed. He did this knowing it would cause extra work for his wife while he swanned of to football. I really don't think the need for uniform itself is the main issue here.

mathanxiety · 27/09/2025 19:08

Soontobe60 · 27/09/2025 13:43

Maybe, just maybe, he doesn’t give a damn about the type of shoes his child wears to school because he knows it will in absolutely no way affect his child’s education! Maybe we should all be more like him and stop pandering to ridiculous uniform rules.

Agree.

If more dads were left to take care of the million and one piddling details of school life, I think it would be a safe bet that there would be no stupid uniforms, and no more world book days, bake sales, costume days, pajama days, etc.

Schools rely far too much on the good will of women.

TokenGinger · 27/09/2025 18:53

Not the point of the post, but Adidas Tensaur are brilliant for primary school. I don’t think you’d get away with them in secondary school but they last all year with my football hooligan. And they’re half the price of Clarks!

Ddakji · 27/09/2025 18:37

Soontobe60 · 27/09/2025 13:43

Maybe, just maybe, he doesn’t give a damn about the type of shoes his child wears to school because he knows it will in absolutely no way affect his child’s education! Maybe we should all be more like him and stop pandering to ridiculous uniform rules.

This. Primary school uniform rules have the be one of the stupidest things going and yet parents just nod along with them.

Readyforslippers · 27/09/2025 18:36

notthatoldchestnut · 27/09/2025 18:33

This is all so annoying OP and your husband is a dick.

however on a practical note, my son is super heavy with his shoes too. We have had these geox shoes for the last 3 years running. They withstand everything and are well worth the money. I don’t rate Clark’s at all. These last the school year every time

https://www.schuh.co.uk/kids/boys-junior-geox-savage-black-trainers/5673047020/?utmsource=google&utmmedium=surfaces-across-google&utmcampaign=organic-shopping&gclsrc=aw.ds&gadsource=1&gadcampaignid=22903631188&gbraid=0AAAAAD4NavdTx0r5CjL3aTeciBk6nFT33&gclid=CjwKCAjwlt7GBhAvEiwAKal0cqCmQRAmMKPeQE69Ml-uGiqZUDagvQt1DTY-W4E77CwN4DruGbiCoxoCQS0QAvDBwE

Edited

I agree, it's even more annoying how accepting op is of being treated like rubbish. Stop defending him op, he doesnt deserve it. Make him sort this, no pub with dad for him tomorrow, he's got more important things to do - he has to go shopping again. He needs to grow up. Just going to your own job 6-5 is really not that impressive, it doesn't get him out of his responsibilities at home.

FrodoBiggins · 27/09/2025 18:33

I'm going to enjoy it even more when Wolves get beaten later 🙌

notthatoldchestnut · 27/09/2025 18:33

This is all so annoying OP and your husband is a dick.

however on a practical note, my son is super heavy with his shoes too. We have had these geox shoes for the last 3 years running. They withstand everything and are well worth the money. I don’t rate Clark’s at all. These last the school year every time

https://www.schuh.co.uk/kids/boys-junior-geox-savage-black-trainers/5673047020/?utmsource=google&utmmedium=surfaces-across-google&utmcampaign=organic-shopping&gclsrc=aw.ds&gadsource=1&gadcampaignid=22903631188&gbraid=0AAAAAD4NavdTx0r5CjL3aTeciBk6nFT33&gclid=CjwKCAjwlt7GBhAvEiwAKal0cqCmQRAmMKPeQE69Ml-uGiqZUDagvQt1DTY-W4E77CwN4DruGbiCoxoCQS0QAvDBwE

Readyforslippers · 27/09/2025 18:30

WimbyAce · 27/09/2025 18:27

This is exactly what I was thinking, he has 5 kids and isn't even capable of buying them school shoes 😐

Show quote history

He has 5 and she appears to have 6!

Readyforslippers · 27/09/2025 18:30

No, don't let him get away with that. He has two choices. 1. Change them tonorrow himself. 2. Do school drop off, yes it will be inconvenient to change his work plans, but if you are too lazy to do something properly then that's what happens. Tough luck!

WimbyAce · 27/09/2025 18:27

Coffeeforbreakfast88 · 27/09/2025 17:12

5 kids!! That’s a lot to handle with a DH who can’t even buy school shoes.

This is exactly what I was thinking, he has 5 kids and isn't even capable of buying them school shoes 😐

justasking111 · 27/09/2025 17:53

Our middle son destroyed school shoes. A friend said buy Doc martens. With nothing to lose I did. They lasted the school year. I don't know if they still make them