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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask WHY you work

235 replies

BeatriceAlbert · 26/09/2025 21:42

Got in a discussion about retirement/early retirement and why people actually go to work in the first place. I know it seems obvious to answer ‘for money’ but this was off the back of the parody about a fisherman.

A businessman on holiday spots a fisherman lounging by his small boat after catching a few fish for the day.

Businessman:
“Why don’t you stay out longer and catch more fish?”

Fisherman:
“Why would I?”

Businessman:
“Well, with more fish, you could buy a bigger boat!”

Fisherman:
“And then?”

Businessman:
“With a bigger boat, you could hire a crew, catch even more fish, and eventually own a whole fleet!”

Fisherman:
“And then?”

Businessman:
“Then you could build a company, go public, and become a millionaire!”

Fisherman:
“And then?”

Businessman:
“Then you could retire, relax by the sea, and spend your days fishing!”

Fisherman:
“…Which is what I was already doing before you interrupted.”

OP posts:
NuovaPilbeam · 27/09/2025 06:58

To support my family, provide the best life I can for my DC and afford hobbies that I'll never be skilled/talented enough at for them to be a means of supporting myself, but which bring me joy.

I work hard and earn well and i love being able to say "yes of course you can have oboe lessons" and to choose freely in the supermarket, to enjoy lovely holidays together, to never worry if we can afford the next size up in school uniform. Financial security really reduces my stress levels

BreakfastOfChampignons · 27/09/2025 06:51

I was pondering this whilst driving home last night, the radio was on in the car and someone won something obscene like half a million pounds and i contemplated what i would do if that were me.

And the conclusion that I reached is that I would continue to work in my current role. It gives me a lot more than just a salary, it's a role I got in to through volunteering so there was already a drive and a passion there. It gives me a challenge, it gives me an additional purpose, and it's something I genuinely care about. Half a million would be life changing but not enough to retire on (we're in our 30s, kids, including one with disabilities)but if i won the euro millions, I'd probably continue my job on a voluntary basis if i didnt need the salary, albeit on less hours and with less responsibility/stress!

luckylavender · 27/09/2025 06:49

NoSoupForU · 26/09/2025 21:44

Yes for money. But also for purpose. I wouldn't do well without having the mental challenge and structure that work gives me.

Me too. I actually hope to go on after retirement age

RedSkyatNight25 · 27/09/2025 06:49

Money. I have a cushty job and earn good money so I am hugely fortunate not to be slogging my guts but I work because the fun things cost money.

JetFlight · 27/09/2025 06:47

For the money but I do feel it’s important for humans to have a role in society and community.

BubblyBath178 · 27/09/2025 06:46

I go to work for money. That’s it.

mjf981 · 27/09/2025 06:41

I don't currently.

Middle aged and recently had some health issues (lost some hearing suddenly, and now have tinnitus which has led to severe insomnia and couldn't function - I ended up quitting in a panic 3 months ago)

Not sure what to do. My old boss called yesterday to 'touch base' but I have no desire to go back that job or any job atm. Thankfully no dependents. I can afford to be off for the rest of the year but no idea what 2026 will bring. Can't afford to retire at 41 but have completely lost my spark :(

Thepeopleversuswork · 27/09/2025 06:35

Money (am a single parent)
Purpose
Structure
The feeling of being connected to people
Fear of retirement - has never looked attractive to me

PrioritisePleasure24 · 27/09/2025 06:23

For money to live. However i do work in a job i do enjoy that can be very rewarding. I’d still not work if i won the lottery though! I agree with others i had a little time off when i came back from travelling in my 20s and no routine just for a couple of weeks did me no favours at all. So yeah we do need structure.

OhNoNotSusan · 27/09/2025 06:18

because i cant get a job on the hours i want at the rate i want unless i do the specific hours i want.
i am hoping to at some point to reduce my hours but i am reliant on my employer allowing me to reduce my hours, needs of the service need to be taken into consideration and it doesnt look hopeful

Dontcallmescarface · 27/09/2025 06:16

I work because I can't live on fresh air alone, that's the only reason.

OlympicProcrastinator · 27/09/2025 06:14

Money but also to be a role model for my children. It also provides me with a sense of purpose and wellbeing as my work gives something valuable to society as a whole. I work in public protection and risk management.

pinkbackground · 27/09/2025 06:07

Money for a good retirement, sense of purpose, holidays and dignity - there’s no dignity in sloth.

Almondflour · 27/09/2025 05:02

Money. Husband’s salary covers our expenses. Having mine allows us to travel, save, potentially buy another property. We both plan to be retired in our early 50s.
My mum never worked, I love having my own money.

HoppingPavlova · 27/09/2025 04:58

To contribute to society. To do something interesting and challenging. To support myself and family.

We are at an age where we don’t ‘need’ to work but we do due to the first two factors. We believe that if you can work and contribute, you should work, so we do. That’s how we brought our children up also. For me that meant swapping jobs as the career I’d had for decades wasn’t really compatible at all certain age, so I swapped for something where my bum could be parked on a seat, and the hours would be more like a standard working week. DH didn’t need to make adjustments as his was always a desk based job. We’ll keep going until we physically can’t due to some kind of ill health. That’s also what everyone’s know does so it’s normal in our circles.

MarchInHappiness · 27/09/2025 04:43

Money, I was a SAHM with one school aged child briefly, quite frankly I was bored rigid and missed the mental stimulation but 20 odd years later and being in my early 60s I am so over working. I could find a zillion other things to keep me entertained.

Luckily my job is still bearable as I work for a good organisation and to some extent I still find my job enjoyable.

WaltzingWaters · 27/09/2025 04:05

Purely for the money. We’re lucky that I don’t need to work FT. I do two (albeit very long) shifts a week and spend the rest of the time with my toddler - second child on the way. I love this balance and absolutely couldn’t work 5 days per week with young children and miss out on their childhood, but appreciate we’re in the lucky position of being able to afford this. But we couldn’t afford for me to not work at all.

LancashireButterPie · 27/09/2025 00:21

God knows why I'm still working.
I'm a front line NHS clinician, been qualified 35 years.
I don't need the money as DH has worked hard to support us and financially we are sorted.
I get abuse off the public who have been waiting far longer than they should have and also because we no longer have the resources to provide the care they expect.
I get pressure off the managers to work ever harder.
The other day I realised that I am the oldest in our Trust by several years.
I guess I carry on doing it because I feel I am helping but I'm going to retire soon as I've just had enough of the stress. Finally putting my family first.

Hohumdedum · 27/09/2025 00:00

Honestly? I feel like the fisherman and the real answer IS "for money". I worked part-time, the minimum I had to work to afford the lifestyle I wanted, because there are a million other more interesting things I'd rather be doing. Note that my job was not something like doctor (ie it's not essential for society or intrinsically worthy or motivating).

OneFootintheHedgehog · 26/09/2025 23:56

youalright · 26/09/2025 23:51

Money and mental health i need the routine and purpose

in an imaginary scenario where you don’t need to work for money, you could have routine and purpose without a job though, couldn’t you?

Not aimed at you, but I find it pretty sad people can’t imagine having purpose without a job.

miserableandworried · 26/09/2025 23:51

Money. Having to earn a living really gets in the way of my life. If I could, I’d never work a day in my life again.

I don’t even want to be “rich” I just want to have enough to live on and get a chippy tea once a month.

youalright · 26/09/2025 23:51

Money and mental health i need the routine and purpose

Ummmlaut · 26/09/2025 23:50

TheSkyLooksBeautifulTonight · 26/09/2025 23:43

How old are your children?
Work bringing a sense of purpose - especially if your work is socially useful beyond just meaning you pay tax etc - comes into it's own again as your children become adults.

4, 2 and 0! So I appreciate I’m in the thick of it. I have managed to enjoy my job when I have returned from my previous two maternity leaves, but now wondering how on earth I’ll juggle it all. I know many women do, so I hope I can too.

TheSkyLooksBeautifulTonight · 26/09/2025 23:43

Ummmlaut · 26/09/2025 23:36

I feel exactly the same.

My career was everything before children. Now they are everything and I find it hard to balance work and family. I want to give my all to everything, which is impossible, so currently feel that I’m failing at everything.

I do remember why I loved my job though, so I suppose I’m fortunate to have had that. I hope that I can keep going until the feeling returns. Or I win the lottery and quit.

How old are your children?
Work bringing a sense of purpose - especially if your work is socially useful beyond just meaning you pay tax etc - comes into it's own again as your children become adults.

VivaForever81 · 26/09/2025 23:40

I work for money, I’d rather spend my time reading and gardening.