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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask WHY you work

235 replies

BeatriceAlbert · 26/09/2025 21:42

Got in a discussion about retirement/early retirement and why people actually go to work in the first place. I know it seems obvious to answer ‘for money’ but this was off the back of the parody about a fisherman.

A businessman on holiday spots a fisherman lounging by his small boat after catching a few fish for the day.

Businessman:
“Why don’t you stay out longer and catch more fish?”

Fisherman:
“Why would I?”

Businessman:
“Well, with more fish, you could buy a bigger boat!”

Fisherman:
“And then?”

Businessman:
“With a bigger boat, you could hire a crew, catch even more fish, and eventually own a whole fleet!”

Fisherman:
“And then?”

Businessman:
“Then you could build a company, go public, and become a millionaire!”

Fisherman:
“And then?”

Businessman:
“Then you could retire, relax by the sea, and spend your days fishing!”

Fisherman:
“…Which is what I was already doing before you interrupted.”

OP posts:
MyLimeGuide · 28/09/2025 18:03

NoSoupForU · 26/09/2025 21:44

Yes for money. But also for purpose. I wouldn't do well without having the mental challenge and structure that work gives me.

This for me too.

financialcareerstuff · 28/09/2025 18:02

Five years ago and through the first half of my career, I would say I worked for learning, challenge and money. Now I just work for money. I wouldn’t be at leisure if I stopped working for money but I’d do something much more purpose driven and creative - like write books and make films and serve in social advocacy/ community engagement roles , which don’t tend to bring in enough money to be my ‘work’ and I have squeezed in around the edges for the last twenty years.

herbalteabag · 28/09/2025 17:56

I only work for money. I do interact with a lot of people, which can sometimes be fun, but if I wasn't working I would find another way to do that on my terms.

dh280125 · 28/09/2025 17:50

I can't imagine not working. I love it, and I'm temperamentally unsuited to not having a lot to do.

APTPT · 28/09/2025 14:03

Self respect and so as not to starve.

Ummmlaut · 28/09/2025 14:02

TheSkyLooksBeautifulTonight · 27/09/2025 15:53

I worked part time when mine were little - for a while (I have four close in age) very, very part time. It is challenging to juggle especially if you accidentally slip into carrying the full mental load and 95% of the housework and childcare during maternity leave and any phase of working very part time - shifting back to properly sharing the load with your partner if you have one is harder than doing 50/50 from day 1 obviously. I breastfed so did all night waking and felt guilty about being home so did everything, and it needed a big conscious effort to get the balance back when I tried to get back to more hours and then full time.

In addition to sense of purpose outside motherhood there's also independence to consider. If you became independently wealthy it wouldn't be the issue, but the unspoken dynamic in a relationship can unintentionally shift if the family income is all or almost all earned by one partner. Not earning your own income just has an undercurrent of vulnerability to it if you're not careful, plus of course the fact that the dependency can be forever because stopping work or cutting hours massively for a decade or longer will decimate your future pension entitlement (state and employment pensions will both be way less, as well as salary when ypu do return- if you do - being way less than it would have been).

Yes - I agree with you. Fortunately my husband is very hands on and everything is s pretty equal apart from feeding the baby.

I will go back to work, partly because I have to in order to maintain our quality of life. Also, I’ve trained for a long time to get to where I am in my career and it would be very difficult to return after a break. So I’ll keep going so as not to throw it all away. In an ideal world I’d go very, very part time and then maybe increase hours once they are all at school.

But if I won the lottery, I’d either quit or perhaps do one day a week. 😂

FamilyPhoto · 28/09/2025 08:08

Im in my 50's. Not in the UK.
When DH retired we moved abroad.
Theoretical I dont need to work, as in we could technically survive on his pensions/ investments. Tried it forr 6 months and hated it. I now work p/t and really enjoy it, plus the money is a nice cushion. I know Im in a very privileged position. Before that I worked F/T plus bank shifts purely for the money - for luxuries like food, mortgage and heat.

namechangetheworld · 27/09/2025 19:44

To pay the bills.

I only work part time around children and would still much rather not be there. I can think of a hundred more interesting things to do with my time over sitting at a desk making money for my (already hideously wealthy) boss.

My DM never worked a day in her life after her children were born. She looks ten years younger and seems far happier than the women of a similar age I work with. Spends her time gardening, volunteering, spending time with friends and family, going on holiday, pottering around the shops, doing the crossword. Sounds wonderful to me.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. On their death bed, nobody wishes they spent more time at work.

Notthatgameagain · 27/09/2025 19:24

For money but also for structure. I find the routine is good for my mental health. I WFH so don't feel rushed at all but I do keep to a schedule and it works for me..

Valeyard15 · 27/09/2025 19:09

In general, for purpose, achievement and socialisation.

Specifically for the job I'm in, for money.

WiddlinDiddlin · 27/09/2025 19:03

I am in the incredibly fortunate position to not need huge sums of money (no mortgage, house owned out right, no kids)...

I still need money of course, theres two of us and himself is my full time carer (because I am also incredibly unlucky to be disabled with a life limiting condition and chronic illness)...

But... on the lucky side again, I get to do things I absolutely love, and get paid reasonably well for that, it's varied (writing, illustration, advising/consulting) and interesting, much of it I would and in the past, have done for free as a hobby really.

I couldn't not do something, I can't just sit about, the ADHD means I am always looking for things to do and am generally doing several things at once!

I definitely feel better if I have either made/produced something tangible, or I have helped someone.
If I won the EuroMillions tomorrow, I'd be doing exactly as I am doing now.. just in a more accessible and probably bigger (for all the stuff!) house.

SquirrelosaurusSoShiny · 27/09/2025 19:00

NoSoupForU · 26/09/2025 21:44

Yes for money. But also for purpose. I wouldn't do well without having the mental challenge and structure that work gives me.

This for me too. My work is important and gives my life meaning and purpose. I won't be able to do it forever but I'll do it while I can.

CherrieTomaties · 27/09/2025 18:56

Im 31 so nowhere near retirement. Work in corporate.

I work because I have to. So I can afford my house and food to keep my alive. Any extra I use for holidays and nice things.

I don’t do overtime. I don’t socialise with colleagues. I don’t go “above and beyond”. I don’t have any career “goals”. I don’t bring work home. I don’t think about work or talk about work when I am not in work.

WelliesandWashing · 27/09/2025 18:53

Out of necessity. I’d quit in a minute if I won enough on the lottery and I wouldn’t miss it at all.

WhatWouldTheDoctorDo · 27/09/2025 18:52

Money. To contribute towards supporting my family, and because the things I like to do in my free time aren’t free.

I like my job enough, I’ve reached a senior level and unless i get booted out of the door it might be what i do until retirement. But I wouldn’t choose to work if I didn’t have to.

RosesAndHellebores · 27/09/2025 18:51

Because I like work. I find it fulfilling and it grounds me. I went back when dd was settled in school because you can only polish so many times and the kitchen doesn't talk to you. I was 43.

I haven't needed to work for money since DS was about two. He's nearly 31.

I'm going part time in a few weeks. I'm 65 and very worried about not going to work every day.

Ionlymakejokestodistractmyself · 27/09/2025 18:50

LondonLady1980 · 27/09/2025 16:21

I work because I love what I do, and the job I do enables me to make a real difference/impact on the emotional well-being of new mothers.

I like feeling that I have a purpose, that I do something meaningful and that I can make other people’s lives easier/happier.

Can I ask what job you do please? This is an area I'd like to get into

Ionlymakejokestodistractmyself · 27/09/2025 18:49

For money although not much of it.

I like the people I work with a lot and the fun we have together.

My job isn't particularly purposeful but I like the variety and challenges it throws at me (most of the time).

I like mentoring colleagues too.

But would I do it for free? No way.

Yuja · 27/09/2025 18:48

So I can keep my nice home, give my children a secure upbringing and pay for stuff that is more fun than work like holidays!

NoSoapJustUseShowerGel · 27/09/2025 18:46

I’m sure for most people it will be for money. However some people just enjoy their work. My in laws are both nearly 80 and still work part time even though they’re wealthy, because they enjoy what they do.

TravellersJoy · 27/09/2025 18:42

Money. If I won the lottery I’d travel the world.

ObliviousCoalmine · 27/09/2025 18:39

Because I don’t want to clean my own house and I wouldn’t be able to pay the cleaner. Or buy biscuits.

TheCompactPussycat · 27/09/2025 18:31

For money.

I really enjoy my job but if I didn't go to work to earn money, I would end up filling my time with voluntary work to avoid being bored shitless which would simply be working without earning money.

BoredZelda · 27/09/2025 18:27

BauhausOfEliott · 27/09/2025 08:43

No, it really isn’t about finding the right job. I don’t find my job dull, I’m very good at it. I work with nice people and for an organisation that does good things. I’m in exactly the right kind of job. What I don’t understand is when people can’t think of anything other than work that would occupy them and give them a sense of fulfilment. I’m not criticising them at all - I have friends who feel that way, and my sister’s like that too. I just can’t imagine ever feeling that way. If I had enough money to have a reasonably pleasant lifestyle without working, I would have absolutely no problem filling my time with all sorts of things.

Filling your time doesn’t always mean having a sense of purpose / fulfilment though.

My job means that people with a lot of money don’t get ripped off. If I didn’t have to be paid, I’d like to do the job but for free people who don’t have a lot of money. That would still be working, I just wouldn’t be paid for it. I also teach the next generation of students to do what I do. In theory I could do that for nothing, but why would I? As is is half my salary for the teaching work goes in tax because I’m a higher rate taxpayer, so effectively I’m doing it for half price and the government has more money because of it.

I could fill my time doing things I found fulfilling but it would inevitably still mean people relied on me and I’d simply be doing someone else’s job for free.

WatchThisGladys · 27/09/2025 16:23

AhBiscuits · 27/09/2025 10:22

Money. If I won the lottery I would quit immediately and never do paid work again.

Same here. I wouldn't miss work in the slightest!

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