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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think this is a rude text?

93 replies

CozyPumpkinSzn · 26/09/2025 17:12

I went for a trial shift a few days ago just at a little coffee shop. It’s over minimum wage and the day was ok but the manager was a bit abrupt. At the end of the shift she said to me “do you think you’ll come back?” So I said yes, I’m actually quite shy with new people and she mockingly responded “yeah” in a high pitched voice, almost teasing me as if to say you don’t seem keen.
she had got back to my application very quickly so I hadn’t had time to arrange childcare properly, I said at the end of the shift I would be in touch when I’d confirmed it was in place. This was only 4 days ago - I was going to email a list of my availability tonight.
i just got a text that read “hi. Do you not want the job anymore? Regards” that was it. No thanks for the trial shift, how did you find it. Am I reading too much into it or does that seem abrupt to you?
DH is on a good wage and I’m very fortunate I don’t NEED to work, it was just going to help a bit in the run up to Christmas.
opinions?

OP posts:
saveforthat · 26/09/2025 18:29

Hi OP. Is your username similar to the name of the cafe?

youalright · 26/09/2025 18:29

It sounds like shes been messed about a lot and you appear to be doing the same if I really wanted a job id be messaging later that day or the next I certainly wouldn't of gone silent for 4 days. Have you actually sorted it now or are you still ignoring her. This needs to be high on your priority list not the bottom

Saz12 · 26/09/2025 18:19

Possibly she's had people not turn up for interviews, trials, and not responded to the job offer. She probably thought you were just going to go silent so was frustrated.

Personally, Id give her the benefit of the doubt. Send your availability and apologize for the delay. BUT dont be too shy to follow up payment for the trial shift! That was nearly 10 hrs work which is excessive for a trial.

meganorks · 26/09/2025 18:17

Well yes, it does sound a bit rude and abrupt. But having worked in a small cafe before I can tell you now they get all kinds of people absolutely pissing them about! If you want the job, then go for it and send your availability. I would just be polite back and in person and let them realise the error of their ways.
Or if you are getting a bad vibe don't bother.

Original poster
CozyPumpkinSzn · 26/09/2025 18:13

@OriginalUsername2 she’s mainly back of house so I didn’t really see her interact with customers x

OP posts:
Original poster
CozyPumpkinSzn · 26/09/2025 18:13

It’s only for a couple of months as it’s only open seasonally

OP posts:
OriginalUsername2 · 26/09/2025 18:12

It sounds like she was awkwardly agreeing that you come across shy. Did you get on okay with the customers? It reads to me like she’s an abrupt person but wants to give you a chance.

Original poster
CozyPumpkinSzn · 26/09/2025 18:12

I think she’s had quite a few people for a trial as I overheard her talking and saying so and so came for a trial she might be back to do that day.. she also said a lot how people aren’t turning up for interviews/trial shifts etc. It’s a family run buisness but not especially small, the cafe is just part of the attraction if that makes sense.
But yes I should’ve got back in touch sooner time just gets away with me running after my 2 and I’ve been waiting for DH to check his work calendar.
yeah I’m sure I said thank you I’ve enjoyed it.

OP posts:
WFHforevermore · 26/09/2025 18:08

She obv. doesnt have people skills.....or you came across as disinterested, which feels like because you didnt ask lots of questions!

Take or dont take.

AprilShowers25 · 26/09/2025 18:07

I think you were rude to not let her know by 4 days, she needs staff and there may be other people wanting the job

JLou08 · 26/09/2025 18:07

If a manager mocked me during a trial shift I wouldn't be back. The text is a bit abrupt but it's the mocking that sounds worse to me.

missmollygreen · 26/09/2025 18:00

Abrupt woman sends text. Shocker.
I think you just need to decide whether her attitude will annoy you long term.
She might warm up once she gets to know you though.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 26/09/2025 17:56

When you said ‘yes’ did you also say you’d enjoyed it and thank her for the opportunity? 4 days is plenty to decide and she will need to no so she can employ someone else if you don’t want it.

SunnyCoco · 26/09/2025 17:53

I do think 4 days is a long time to have left it for a job like that. It's hard to tell people's tone on text, but I think she just needed to know one way or the other which is fair enough really.

It definitely needs to be known far before your next shift as she needs to know if she's still recruiting

IShouldNotCoco · 26/09/2025 17:49

I think she does sound rude. And if she is sarky with you now then imagine trying to work with her - it could start to really get on your nerves.

canchewcashew · 26/09/2025 17:46

If you were planning to take the job before the text, I'd go ahead and give it a try. What do you have to lose? If the manager's too unfriendly, you can always change your mind and quit. If you were only planning to work there briefly, maybe you can just accept that it's not ideal, but worth a little annoyance for the extra money. On the other hand, if you have a bad feeling about this woman, there's nothing wrong with backing out now.

Cosyblankets · 26/09/2025 17:45

TeenToTwenties · 26/09/2025 17:36

Id have texted the day after saying 'thank you for the trial, I would love to work for you, in need a couple of days to sort childcare'.

I also wouldn't have left on the trial day without knowing how it was to be paid.

Fully agree

budgiegirl · 26/09/2025 17:45

so I thought as long as I’d got back to her before my next “day” it didn’t matter

Well, I guess she does need to know if you are going to be available for your next shift - it would probably be difficult to get cover last minute if you decide not to turn up.

I work in a small independent coffee shop, and the rota is done two or three weeks in advance, so I think it's only fair to give some notice if you don't intend to work your next shift.

Original poster
CozyPumpkinSzn · 26/09/2025 17:39

@FuzzyWolf which I understand but it wasn’t left with a can you let me know by.. she just left it as “see you when I see you, let me know what you can do”
I’m not even sure I got a thank you.. I think I was spoilt at my old job, I got a thank you at the end of every shift 😢

OP posts:
Noshadowsinthedark · 26/09/2025 17:38

CozyPumpkinSzn · 26/09/2025 17:34

@Noshadowsinthedark I was told in interview it would be paid, I’ve had unpaid trials before but they’ve only been a few hours. She hadn’t even asked for my bank details - which is why I certainly wouldn’t ghost her as she owes me about £95!

I would be polite and explain the role isn’t going to work for you but please let you know what information she needs to pay you for the one day worked.

TeenToTwenties · 26/09/2025 17:36

Id have texted the day after saying 'thank you for the trial, I would love to work for you, in need a couple of days to sort childcare'.

I also wouldn't have left on the trial day without knowing how it was to be paid.

FuzzyWolf · 26/09/2025 17:35

CozyPumpkinSzn · 26/09/2025 17:30

Ahh I’m in 2 minds whether to tell her I can’t take it or not. I was going to do 2 days neither of which have gone by in this time if that makes sense (Monday and Tuesday, trial was Tuesday) so I thought as long as I’d got back to her before my next “day” it didn’t matter. It’s just the tone of the text that’s got my back up. I was meant to be paid for the trial day though as I did 8-5.30 so I bloody want the money!

It didn’t matter to you but perhaps it does to her as she needs to work out the cover accordingly.

I would say she is abrupt but clearly wants to employ you, which isn’t something everyone can say. Four days is a long time to be giving someone the runaround because letting them know before the next working day isn’t important to you.

TheatricalLife · 26/09/2025 17:35

Yeah, thats a massive no then. Red flags all round. It will be one of those where you have fo chase for wages and she'll be one of those bloody "tell it like it is" rude people, which is code for a total cunt.

Original poster
CozyPumpkinSzn · 26/09/2025 17:34

@Noshadowsinthedark I was told in interview it would be paid, I’ve had unpaid trials before but they’ve only been a few hours. She hadn’t even asked for my bank details - which is why I certainly wouldn’t ghost her as she owes me about £95!

OP posts:
Noshadowsinthedark · 26/09/2025 17:33

Yes, she should pay you. That’s too long to be an unpaid trial…