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AIBU?

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Original poster

Teacher asked who chose the pink bottle....

454 replies

Caszekey · 26/09/2025 11:33

Ok, so it's more aibu to allow / encourage this behaviour.
Fairly identifiable so here goes.
5 year olds twin boys, both have long hair like their Dad which I put up for school. Ones favourite colour is pink. Both adore Frozen so wanted the dress up dresses (Kristoff is a minor character). Last WBD they dressed as Goldilocks and Red Riding Hood (bear, wolves are minor characters). School have jokingly passed comment previously about pink bobbles etc but today I was asked, incidentally, if I chose the pink bottles or them, do I pick costumes etc.
I don't know if she's curious or implying I'm doing something wrong but it's got me second guessing

The choices are child led and I reckon they'll age out of them but I don't want to pull the "boys don't do that" line when girls have so much fun.

So aibu to allow them to pick so freely ? We've not yet encountered a request for a dress for general living, just they like to be Princesses!

OP posts:
TheGreatWesternShrew · 26/09/2025 11:41

I think at 5 it’s fine. Although people will find it strange as it breaks gender norms.

hydriotaphia · 26/09/2025 11:41

No YANBU at all. I know two little boys who loved dressing up as Elsa, I think it is fairly normal for them to just identify with the main character and they are not hung up on gender at an early age. I would actually have a serious talk to the school about this. Of course they should not be shamed for choosing pink things, and it would not be good if the school is subtly sending out messages that 'pink is for girls, blue is for boys' etc.

FuzzyWolf · 26/09/2025 11:41

I think it’s fine to let them choose. It’s also normal in the society we live in for people to wonder and better to actually ask you than speculate behind your back.

IrnBruAndDietCoke · 26/09/2025 11:38

Well people will be wondering. 🤷‍♀️ Personally I think its our job as parents to protect kids from social suicide and to make sure they know they can dress up but can’t ever change their sex. And not to intentionally trans them. It does seem a bit coincidental that both your boys are picking “girl” things so given the society we live in, why would you not expect questions?