Teacher asked who chose the pink bottle....

Do you not think that by allowing them to choose their interests and clothes freely they are less likely to think they must be a girl trapped in a boy's body?

I didn't buy it for him. I had bought it for his older sister when she was a baby and as I said he inherited some of her clothes because I didn't want to just get rid of them.

Having said that I did buy some blue clothes as well when dd was a baby because I got fed up of all the pink and white stuff. And my friends and relatives from outside the UK gave us clothes in all kinds of colours. (Including black and brown. I have to say dd looked adorable in her black sleepsuit but yeah, even i thought that brown doesn't really suit babies..I still used the brown sleepsuit because I hate waste and also.. who cares)

I also think this strong association with colour and sex is a uniquely British thing at least it's not something that I have seen so strongly practiced and adhered to in the few other countries I have lived in.

Euan Montagu, Johnny Bevan and Hester Legatt are drag/gender bending?

Nope. They're actors who are pretending to be something else. All are played entirely straight as the character's gender. Hester is a woman, Bevan and Monty are men. The creators have really interesting accounts of why they chose to have the characters played by actors of the opposite sex - and particularly how that affects how the Montagu character is received.

Now do the Wizard of Oz. Assume that it's also banned in your house? After all there's a guy pretending to be an actual lion, and some bad lions have hurt people.

Mmm... I've only ever dressed up as animals or male characters. Not sure what that says about me 😆

But I wouldn't care if my daughter wanted to dress up as a male character. The societal double standard means I would have niggles about letting a son go as a female character but I'd let him. I don't see the fundamental difference or the issue with it. I would explain to both that some people might have an issue with it but it's their decision.

Wow, so many PPs have a problem with children dressing as the main characters from their favourite stories!

People saying they wouldn’t let their children choose their costumes - what?? It’s not like these children dressed as Nazis or something 😂 Is it OK if a girl wanted to dress as Robin Hood, or would that start you clutching your pearls too?

To those criticising the pink water bottles for boys - I just don’t know what to say. Are girls allowed to have blue belongings? Or is it that touching pink items makes boys trans these days 😂

To those asking whether boys are exposed to stories with strong male characters - are you actually joking 😂 Are we not allowed to read fairy tales with female protagonists to our children now? Can children only read stories about characters of their own sex unless they get wild ideas about dressing up as them?? Bonkers stuff.

OP - I’m sorry the school is being weird about this! Of course YANBU.

At 5, my oldest twins who are both boys:

1 wouldn't take off a pair of red lady bug rubber boots
1 was obsessed with wearing a purple and pink beret

Let your boys have fun and wear what they want! They will grow out of it soon enough!

Agree. Why shouldn't men wear dresses and skirts as men? Women wear trousers which was unthinkable for a long time.

Little girls aged 5 with short hair or mistaken for boys by other children.
My DS was convinced a little boy in his class was a girl when he was 5, he kept saying she/her.

Social suicide????

Just say you want to brain wash children into binary gender identify corresponding with their genitalia and don't bother dressing it up with hyperbolic language.

And to address another poster, why is allowing children freedom of expression only OK if they pretend to be a gender specific character/superhero?

It's ALL bloody fantasy. Life gets real all too soon. I fail to see how a pink water bottle is turning a kid trans. FFS.

A million times this. There no girls things and boys things, everyone can wear what they like.

We cope just fine so no need to ask Fuck.

I find it so depressing that people think their boys need to be hardmen at age 5 to avoid bullying. Bullying is not a fact of life that we need to teach our children to bend to. What an awful attitude.

@Caszekey My twin boys were exactly the same. They’re 12 now, still have long hair but now wearing Metallica t shirts 🤘

It's not really a debate when it's clear that there's no connection between genes and clothes. It's relevant in that you suggest approaching this issue with a child with flat out lies, which is never really a sign that one is making the best parenting decision.
If what you're trying to tell your child is real and true, you won't have to bend facts to tell it to them.

I had to run a search on chatGPT. Those men were portraying drag and gender-bending roles. Not that kind of stuff I want to be talking about to a 5 year old. A tad too young. Let's keep it simple for now and when he grows up I will touch on that and other sensitive issues.

Children can be cruel.
It depends if your DC has thick skin, even at 5 they notice differences.
If your children are happy, it is okay.

I didn't have this problem as DS was never interested in girls toys, his Dsis had plenty of pink things, he preferred cars and balls.

@TheNewWasp Your mum wouldn't have let you dress up as a mouse? Not even for Halloween or something? Poor you. How sad that you weren't allowed to pretend and imagine things as a child.

Btw, my DC don't think they're Elsa in her dress or that they're Spiderman in his outfit. They still know who they are.

But why on earth should she make that decision? What possible cause could be served by not allowing her son to wear an else xostume?

I assume your grand daughter wasn't allowed to wear thr lizzo outfit either because it wasn't suitable for jumping and climbing in soft play or because it was too skimpy. Both of them very different from existing you can't wear something because it's not for your sex.

I'm also going to say something else that might be controversial but while I dont think preferences, toys or even personality is sex specific I actually don't think there is anything wrong with a man wearing dresses. I mean whom does it hurt? The bad wolf wasn't bad because he dressed up like the grandma. He was bad because he ate the grandma, stole her clothes and then tried to eat little red riding hood. I am also pretty sure that the bad wolf didn't actually start believing he is a female human just because of his clothes. He pretended to be grandmum to hurt little red riding hood. Surely that was why he was bad, wasn't it?

A hundred years ago pink was a colour for boys (a bright, dynamic colour, suitable for rough and tumble boys they thought) and blue was for girls ( a calming sedate colour suitable for sweet little girls).

also the double standards - a boy comes to school with long hair and pink hair bobbles, pink drink bottle or whatever and it’s all shock, horror. A girl comes to school in with short hair, a blue t-shirt and denim jeans with a blue water bottle and no one raises an eyebrow.

When my daughter was a baby I went shopping with her and she was wearing a pink tracksuit. Two people told me what a lovely boy she was!

Why is there nothing wrong with a girl being a “tomboy” and wearing blue or boyish clothes yet boys should never wear anything girly. Are girls and women so inferior that you must make sure you are never mistaken for one?

So where did the conversation with the teacher go from there? She asked, you answered then...silence? Did she not say why she was asking? Did you not ask her why she was asking? Because my concern would be is this just curiosity on her part, or is she asking for a reason such as your boys are being teased or seem embarrassed by the bobbles in school.