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Original poster

Why why why are they like this!!!

330 replies

Hellofrances · 26/09/2025 09:37

My boyfriend stayed overnight at my house for the first time on Wednesday.

We both had yesterday off so had a lazy morning watching tv in bed.

He broke wind really loud and grabbed my head and forced it under the covers, I couldn’t move from under them for about 10 seconds.

He thought it was hilarious, I told him I’m a 37 year old woman and don’t appreciate that.

I think it’s the fact we’d not long been intimate and he was being really jokey.

I told one of my friends who found it amusing and said it’s a sign he’s comfortable around me which is good, but I don’t agree!

OP posts:
SpiralSister · 26/09/2025 11:08

This specimen has not reached entry level human. Absolutely vile. And take note of the comments around forcing you - that is really scary.

Tatiepot · 26/09/2025 11:08

@Hellofrances I don't think you do need to think love, I think you need to bin him. Using his strength against you is completely unacceptable...and that's before the revolting "joke".

ConstitutionHill · 26/09/2025 11:08

Oh God! Farting is one thing but the forcing of your head, that's really concerning. He's comfortable man-handling you.

RobinEllacotStrike · 26/09/2025 11:06

"I told one of my friends who found it amusing and said it’s a sign he’s comfortable around me which is good"

Your "friend" is an idiot - do they always prioritise men over women?
How lovely he is comfortable around you - bless.
No thought as to how comfortable you might be being naked and vulnerable around someome who finds it hilarious to physically force you do to something you are very unhappy about (l;eaving aside how gross & juvinile it is). But at least the man is "comfortable" with YOU!

This is some world class Stepford Wives gaslighting and manipulation right there. Know your place OP (which BTW is far far far away from dickheads like this).

Huhuhuhu39272 · 26/09/2025 11:06

Holy red flag 🚩

Unless you both do that kinda funk to each other

meganorks · 26/09/2025 11:05

Farting in bed I don't have a problem with and would probably find it funny. Grabbing you and holding you under the covers absolutely inexcusable! Why would he think that's ok? Grabbing and forcing you in any circumstance is not OK. I kind of feel the fart is irrelevant.

user1492757084 · 26/09/2025 11:04

Twit and not worthy of a nice girlfriend.

notatinydancer · 26/09/2025 11:00

Pathetic (him)

Haveaproperty · 26/09/2025 10:59

Wtf no, disgusting. Literally no boyfriends have ever done this to me.

BankfieldForever · 26/09/2025 10:58

He wasn’t being ‘really jokey’ OP. There are red flags all over this.

You need to stop seeing him, now.

PlumpAndDeliciousFatcat · 26/09/2025 10:57

I'd end it and tell him exactly why. He used his physical strength to restrain you. Get out.

AdoraBell · 26/09/2025 10:57

That childish behaviour would put me off.

YANBU.

EvieWonderSpaghettiHoops · 26/09/2025 10:55

CantBreathe90 · 26/09/2025 10:22

I wouldn't LTB over this as a one-off. Some couples do have a more jokey/matey sort of relationship, which is fine for them. But be clear that's never to happen again.

FWIW, have been with my OH for almost 11 years, and he's never done this. We are very comfortable around each other!

Nothing jokey/matey about this. He used force and humiliation. He thought it was ‘hilarious’ and so he was laughing at her. I think you would be one of the very few that wouldn’t LTB.

TheNewWasp · 26/09/2025 10:53

Who is they?

BauhausOfEliott · 26/09/2025 10:51

It’s the kind of thing a 12-year-old boy would do to his little brother and therefore I would cringe at a grown man doing it to anyone, yet alone a new sexual partner. I would laugh at an occasional, accidental fart, but if a man behaved like this I’d probably never want to touch him again.

I suppose if you both find that sort of thing funny, it’s fine. But you clearly don’t (and nor would most adult women really) so if he does, that’s a very bad sign.

DefinitelyNotMaybe · 26/09/2025 10:49

Block, delete and sage the house. Maybe throw in an exorcism to make sure all the grossness is gone.

Theoturkeyfliesnorth · 26/09/2025 10:47

Total lack of respect
And using force against you to hold you under ,using his strength against you .
No .not acceptable at all

MikeRafone · 26/09/2025 10:46

its probably why 4.4 million female live alone

LillyPJ · 26/09/2025 10:44

QforCucumber · 26/09/2025 10:11

'They' aren't, I've literally never had someone do this to me.

Neither have I, but a friend has experienced it (when she was much younger).

YelloDaisy · 26/09/2025 10:43

is as a one-off. Some couples do have a more jokey/matey sort of relationship, which is fine for them. But be clear that's never to happen again.

Except!!! She’d not be able to do the same to him as he’s stronger than her and would over power her - think about it

CatrionaBalfour · 26/09/2025 10:43

RobinEllacotStrike · 26/09/2025 10:43

Instant ick for me.
I'd never want to be intimate with him again.

gross, inappropriate, and he could only do it because he was stronger than you & didn't respect your boundaries.

Exactly.

RobinEllacotStrike · 26/09/2025 10:43

Instant ick for me.
I'd never want to be intimate with him again.

gross, inappropriate, and he could only do it because he was stronger than you & didn't respect your boundaries.

Here4the · 26/09/2025 10:41

Are you all for real? Some people think that sort of thing is funny, some don't. Just say you really didn't like it and ask him not to do it again then work together to find something you can both laugh about.

CatrionaBalfour · 26/09/2025 10:41

As you can see, OP "they" are not like this - this particular man is, and it's not on.

CoffeeCantata · 26/09/2025 10:41

I’m sorry, OP, I don’t like being negative but I think it’s over. Not just because what he did was gross, bullying and borderline abusive but because a relationship with any mileage should have a lovely romantic period where you’re both besotted with each other and want to live up to each other’s fantasy.

As for feeling comfortable with you, I think that’s the problem. I’d NEVER want anyone to feel that comfortable with me!