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Original poster

Why are people so impatient and nasty?

370 replies

Puel · 26/09/2025 08:45

Went to supermarket this morning - I always go early so it’s not busy. I was pulling a trolly out and was suddenly shoved from behind and told “watch where you’re going!”. I apologised but obviously didn’t realise someone was stood right behind me but this person was livid, was there really a need to be so angry and aggressive?!

So I’m stood in post office queue, temporarily distracted and didn’t realise the cashier was waiting for me until the person behind me literally barged past me and went in front. I expected the cashier to tell them I was next yet instead, she rolled her eyes and laughed with the pusher. And before anyone says I was daydreaming for hours etc, it was literally a few seconds of not paying attention.

So I’m back doing my shopping and I stopped and quickly checked my list on my phone - I then heard “excuse me!” And looked up to see an angry looking woman rolling her eyes. I moved out of the way and she snapped “I need to be in that fridge!” So I moved again. At this point I felt like abandoning my trolly and just walking out! What is it with people lately?? I’ve noticed an increase in snappy and inpatient behaviour recently, is it the fact that people in this country are just so generally unhappy these days??

OP posts:
DrCoconut · 26/09/2025 17:43

earphoneson · 26/09/2025 11:13

Nobody is ‘absentminded’ or ‘daydreaming’ on purpose. It’s a human condition and a very normal one. It’s often a coping mechanism too to protect yourself from stress and overload. It’s not rude to do things in your own pace and you should be allowed to manage life how you manage.

Exactly. Things have gone badly wrong socially when people are so wrung out that a couple of seconds delay at a cashier or fridge tips them over the edge. I was thinking only earlier that the amount of running around I have had to do today on my "day off" would have been a week's worth of errands for my grandma. Life is getting more and more demanding and hectic and people are just intolerant and completely unwilling to accept even the most minor inconvenience.

Bringmeahigherlove · 26/09/2025 17:39

GreenFairy93 · 26/09/2025 10:21

A lot of us are very time poor.

I work full time and have a toddler and lots of family that I need to visit regularly. That leaves me rushing to get things done a lot of the time and it's infuriating that people just dawdle like they have nothing better to do than spend 3 hours doing the weekly shop, clogging up the aisle while looking at something and being completely ignorant to the fact that no one can get past or get to the shelves when all I want to do is find the thing I'm looking for, grab it and leave. Times this by ten different people and people dawdling on the car park so I can't even get out of the place in less than 15 minutes and it's a frustrating experience.

If you want to take your time doing these things because you have nowhere else you need to be and aren't in a rush, that's fine but you need to make sure you're not in everyone else's way because a lot of us don't have all the time in the world, we are in a rush. And we can't just allow more time/leave earlier like people like to tell us to do because before the current task, there was a different task that also had to be squeezed in, it's just modern family life.

The examples you give make it sound like you were in peoples way and they were probably rushing, if so many people have complained and it's not just a one off that would suggest it is actually a thing you're doing and not just one or two huffy people.

There is no excuse in the world for being rude.

Wegptthis · 26/09/2025 16:44

Their behaviour says more about them than it does about you. We’re humans not robots. We don’t all run efficiently 100% of the time. We’re allowed to be distracted.
Some people are balls of fury who barge around everywhere. They won’t give you a passing thought. Don’t allow them to take up any of your head space or energy. In future just smile and move out of their way.

ParmaVioletTea · 26/09/2025 16:42

samthepigeon · 26/09/2025 16:15

While it may be annoying, what is wrong with a little courtesy eg 'I think it's your turn now/I think there is a cashier free' or 'please can I get by you?'. Makes life much more pleasant. Just as some people are entitled to be in a rush, some people are entitled to take more time. No one is right or wrong.

Show quote history

I take your point, but I do think when we're in public, it's our responsibility in shared space to be aware of those around us. To be as dozy as @Puel (for no reason, such as a disability) is as rude as those who rush past. I think both are as bad as each other.

And people who stop at the top or bottom of escalators, or in the archway entrances onto train platforms are just darned rude. No excuse.

HangerLaneGyratorySystem · 26/09/2025 16:33

So OP, not all, but MANY people piling on, angry that you exist. Now do you see why? It's endemic - esp on MN and AIBU, a great many people are unkind, angry and entitled.

outerspacepotato · 26/09/2025 16:29

People are rude because while you're zoned out, you're blocking the flow.

Someone more aware would be facilitating the flow by paying attention, moving up when it's their turn, not blocking access to the fridge or moving out of the way when you see someone trying to access it.

People are being rude because you are rude by being a gormless wonder.

godmum56 · 26/09/2025 16:25

GreenFairy93 · 26/09/2025 10:21

A lot of us are very time poor.

I work full time and have a toddler and lots of family that I need to visit regularly. That leaves me rushing to get things done a lot of the time and it's infuriating that people just dawdle like they have nothing better to do than spend 3 hours doing the weekly shop, clogging up the aisle while looking at something and being completely ignorant to the fact that no one can get past or get to the shelves when all I want to do is find the thing I'm looking for, grab it and leave. Times this by ten different people and people dawdling on the car park so I can't even get out of the place in less than 15 minutes and it's a frustrating experience.

If you want to take your time doing these things because you have nowhere else you need to be and aren't in a rush, that's fine but you need to make sure you're not in everyone else's way because a lot of us don't have all the time in the world, we are in a rush. And we can't just allow more time/leave earlier like people like to tell us to do because before the current task, there was a different task that also had to be squeezed in, it's just modern family life.

The examples you give make it sound like you were in peoples way and they were probably rushing, if so many people have complained and it's not just a one off that would suggest it is actually a thing you're doing and not just one or two huffy people.

this, sorry but this

outerspacepotato · 26/09/2025 16:24

Pay attention. Have spatial awareness. Stop zoning out in line.

This morning in the DMV, I noticed a wheelchair user next to me and offered his aide my seat so they could be next to each other and the DMV can take a long time.

latetothefisting · 26/09/2025 16:22

If you were so zoned out you didn't notice it was your turn, how did you know they'd only been waiting a few seconds?

I do think generally people are unnecessarily rude though. Particularly in examples like the freezer one - people just stand there glaring or push in. Just use your words and say 'excuse me!'

tbh sounds like 50/50 - they were unnecessarily rude but for 3 incidents to happen within 1 trip does suggest you're not very with it.

BlueandPinkSwan · 26/09/2025 16:22

samthepigeon · 26/09/2025 16:16

Or just say, 'Excuse me, can I get by?'

Show quote history

I say excuse me but some people will just look blank as if I'm invisible or get arsey, Others will ignore because they are twats.

BettysRoasties · 26/09/2025 16:18

Sounds like you are day dreaming and unaware most of the time.

The post office reaction would say it definitely wasn’t a few seconds. The fact three people in one day had issue tends to point the finger back at you.

I mean you can go as slow as you want personally but you can’t be holding up lines and blocking fridges/shelfs.

Most people just want to get into the shop / post office get the job done and leave. Also the third person did say excuse me.

samthepigeon · 26/09/2025 16:16

BlueandPinkSwan · 26/09/2025 12:37

So many idiots gawping at their phones, people dawdling or just stoping in the middle of a shoping aisle talking, or watching tumble weed roll by.
Blocking doors ways, tops / bottom of escalators talking or phone gawping.
Just bloody well move!

Or just say, 'Excuse me, can I get by?'

MaurineWayBack · 26/09/2025 16:16

Nevereatcardboard · 26/09/2025 16:12

I’m disabled and it’s exactly because of this type of thing that I haven’t been inside a supermarket for many years. Even though I’d enjoy the chance to go shopping, I’m much too slow for all the snappy people rushing about tripping over my wheelchair and telling me to move out the way. I’m glad online shopping exists but feel sad that I will never be able to shop in person again.

Yep, there is little care about what’s going on fur the person ‘in the way’. Could be older, ill, having just had a stroke, lost a parent, whatever.

Nope there isn’t one ounce of compassion there - just get out of the way because I’m in a hurry and anyway it’s your fault because ‘you should be more aware of your surroundings’.

samthepigeon · 26/09/2025 16:15

Parsleysalad · 26/09/2025 10:55

You are what my DH and I call a 'Dozy Dawdler' Annoying AF when we are trying to do simple tasks like shopping and someone is on their phone blocking the fridge or whatever.

While it may be annoying, what is wrong with a little courtesy eg 'I think it's your turn now/I think there is a cashier free' or 'please can I get by you?'. Makes life much more pleasant. Just as some people are entitled to be in a rush, some people are entitled to take more time. No one is right or wrong.

WildLeader · 26/09/2025 16:13

Sounds like you live in Reading.

full of ridiculously rude mutants.

Nevereatcardboard · 26/09/2025 16:12

I’m disabled and it’s exactly because of this type of thing that I haven’t been inside a supermarket for many years. Even though I’d enjoy the chance to go shopping, I’m much too slow for all the snappy people rushing about tripping over my wheelchair and telling me to move out the way. I’m glad online shopping exists but feel sad that I will never be able to shop in person again.

ParmaVioletTea · 26/09/2025 16:09

I'm afraid if I were in a hurry or standing behind you trying to keep moving, get a trolley or whatever, I'd be rolling my eyes. You sound very careless of the fact that you're in shared space.

Why are you bumping into people, or dozing in a queue? Some people have busy lives even if you don't.

MaidOfSteel · 26/09/2025 16:02

GreenFairy93 · 26/09/2025 10:21

A lot of us are very time poor.

I work full time and have a toddler and lots of family that I need to visit regularly. That leaves me rushing to get things done a lot of the time and it's infuriating that people just dawdle like they have nothing better to do than spend 3 hours doing the weekly shop, clogging up the aisle while looking at something and being completely ignorant to the fact that no one can get past or get to the shelves when all I want to do is find the thing I'm looking for, grab it and leave. Times this by ten different people and people dawdling on the car park so I can't even get out of the place in less than 15 minutes and it's a frustrating experience.

If you want to take your time doing these things because you have nowhere else you need to be and aren't in a rush, that's fine but you need to make sure you're not in everyone else's way because a lot of us don't have all the time in the world, we are in a rush. And we can't just allow more time/leave earlier like people like to tell us to do because before the current task, there was a different task that also had to be squeezed in, it's just modern family life.

The examples you give make it sound like you were in peoples way and they were probably rushing, if so many people have complained and it's not just a one off that would suggest it is actually a thing you're doing and not just one or two huffy people.

Ignore this, OP. Who put this poster in charge!

If anyone is blocking the way, all we need to do is ask them to move to the side or say excuse me. There’s no need to be rude. People are getting very snotty and selfish now.

I don’t get out much and use an walking aid so you can imagine I’m very slow. I’ve been shoved out of the way a few times but just take the high road. It says more about them than you when they are rude or laughing at you, OP.

StrongLikeMamma · 26/09/2025 15:57

DuplicateUserName · 26/09/2025 10:25

They do sound particularly snappy but also you don't sound particularly aware of your surroundings.

This.

MaurineWayBack · 26/09/2025 15:56

PlaceIntheClouds · 26/09/2025 15:49

People have busy lives. There is no need for them to be rude but I can understand their frustration.

Please try to pay more attention to what's going on around you.

What about?
Please don’t use other people as emotional punching bag fur your frustration
OR
Shops can be hugely frustrating. The best thing is to modify YOUR behaviour to avoid that frustration. Shopping online or at quieter times (early or late) solves most of those issues.

GreenFairy93 · 26/09/2025 15:54

Spookyspaghetti · 26/09/2025 12:59

The phrase you are looking for is ‘excuse me please’ or ‘pardon me, I just need to grab something from behind you.’

Being time poor is no excuse for appalling behaviour. You are also modelling behaviour for your kids to learn.

Show quote history

Where did I say I was rude to people or even spoke to them?

I'd be really interested in you pointing out my "appalling behaviour"

MaurineWayBack · 26/09/2025 15:53

Thunderpants88 · 26/09/2025 13:12

Sorry to say unit YABVU. When I go to a supermarket for essential items I have left 4 small children at home and am under serious time pressure to get back for bed time and all the nightly pressure. If you are in my way daydreaming or engrossed on your phone I will be mildly frustrated in my tone. If you want to be on your phone fine, work away but be courteous enough to not get in my way. If someone was frustrated enough and able to walk past you and ahead of you then it wasn’t seconds and you were clearly oblivious to what’s going on around you

And the only answer to that is either to politely say ‘excuse me’. Or to do your shopping online and plan ahead better so none risk becoming your emotional punching bag.

Honestly, the fact you’re in a rush or under pressure isn’t everyone else problem - forcing them to adjust their totally normal behaviour to fit YOU.

The only person we can ever control is us!

Tigergirl80 · 26/09/2025 15:52

I really hate it when people are standing there for ages right where I need to get to. I say excuse me can I just grab 1 of those and get on my way but it’s frustrating even more so when the shop is busy and I just want to get what I need and get out. As for those that block the isles and treat a trip to the supermarket like a family reunion that’s annoying as well.

PlaceIntheClouds · 26/09/2025 15:49

People have busy lives. There is no need for them to be rude but I can understand their frustration.

Please try to pay more attention to what's going on around you.

popcornandpotatoes · 26/09/2025 15:45

Nothing like this has happened to me, I would say there's one common denominator in those situations op... Maybe your awareness isn't as good as you think it is