Why are people so impatient and nasty?

Sending love. Some posters just don't get it.

But not everyone is aware. You have no idea what is going on in someone's day. I have ADHD, I space out sometimes, not much I can do about that. Not all disabilities are mobility related or visible. Just the other day I was walking round the supermarket in a trance because I had just had some shocking news about the death of a friend. You and others are just proving OP's point about the lack of tolerance and patience in most people these days.

OP, I also wonder if you are reading a lot into interactions. While the incidents (or at least the first two) do sound a bit rude, I feel you may giving them a bit more headspace than is healthy. I also wonder if the third woman was actually rude at all. It isn't really rude to say excuse me to get something out of a fridge that someone is standing in front of, especially as even though you know you are only glancing down at your list, she has no idea and just sees you looking at your phone. With her, I wonder if you could have been reading too much into the situation.

If people are so time poor, manage your time better, re- arrange life, so you dont have to rush around in a frenzy. Being busy doesn't make you more important.

I’ll be honest, people who are like a fart in a trance in public CAN get on my nerves a bit. But I’m always polite and never show it!

You said you would treat people sharply and roughly if they are walking slowly. Thats I why I got angry. You are self entitled saying that. The world doesn't revolve around you rushing everywhere.

So I should wait for a group of people who could walk single filed and are refusing to move and is barring me from getting to my own home because I can’t safely put my pram in the street to go past them despite asking politely repeatedly if I can pass?

You must be one such people or have all the time int he world and it is never a few seconds when they are just talking to each other and walking slowly and/or on their phone, during a known busy time of day.

If I am aware that you can't move rapidly, of course I will wait - that is good manners and tolerance. If I am not, then who knows? But if I ask you to get out of my way I will always do it politely first off, and if you say "sorry, I need a little more time", I'm likely to continue to be polite, because I'm not a monster.

But let's think about tolerance and consideration. If you can, you might consider that you would be considerate to all of the busy people out there by trying to do your shopping at quieter times (of course, if you can't, you can't) or by in fact doing your shopping online. That is just as independent as tooling round the shops. Going out to shop is obviously important to you, but that might well be the case to the Mum in a rush, the Dad working two jobs, the overworked teacher etc. So you do not have an absolute right to go as slowly as you want/as fast as you are able without people feeling that you are infringing on their priorities and responding accordingly.

Which brings me back round to the politeness point: if you don't behave like you have a god-given right to do what you want, and are pleasant, friendly, self-aware and aware of the delay you might be causing to other people (and apologise where you can) you will likely find that the vast majority are polite and pleasant too.

You seem to think that your limited mobility makes your priorities more objectively important than those of other people. It doesn't. If your disability is not visible people may not know it is a case of "can't" rather than "won't". Not saying you need to make it clear to every Tom, Dick and Harry, but surely for the "can't" people, you should be "on the side" of those saying we all need to be polite, because I can tell you that the person who is rude to you may well would not have been rude to you if they hadn't already encountered a number of "won't" people. It's really not personal, we are just competing for the same space as you with limited time. So share as best you can, and we all will too.

If other people are not being well-mannered (by being aware of what they are doing, by not caring if they delay other people etc) then they can - I anticipate - assume that most people (me included) will not bother being polite to them and may well be sharp or rough with them.

If, however, people (both the faster and the slower) accept that people have different priorities, schedules and abilities then that is likely to result in everyone being able to get on better, and that is basic manners.

Or if you need an example to understand, if you are in my way and I ask you politely to move and you say "oh, sorry, didn't spot you there", I will likely respond "no, problem" and wait for you to move aside. If I do the same and you gawp at me, don't move or assert your right to get in everybody else's way I am likely to simply barge past you, because you are being rude and I'm not going to waste my time being polite when you aren't being.

GreenFairy93

A lot of us are very time poor.
I work full time and have a toddler and lots of family that I need to visit regularly. That leaves me rushing to get things done a lot of the time and it's infuriating that people just dawdle like they have nothing better to do than spend 3 hours doing the weekly shop, clogging up the aisle while looking at something and being completely ignorant to the fact that no one can get past or get to the shelves when all I want to do is find the thing I'm looking for, grab it and leave. Times this by ten different people and people dawdling on the car park so I can't even get out of the place in less than 15 minutes and it's a frustrating experience.
If you want to take your time doing these things because you have nowhere else you need to be and aren't in a rush, that's fine but you need to make sure you're not in everyone else's way because a lot of us don't have all the time in the world, we are in a rush. And we can't just allow more time/leave earlier like people like to tell us to do because before the current task, there was a different task that also had to be squeezed in, it's just modern family life.
The examples you give make it sound like you were in peoples way and they were probably rushing, if so many people have complained and it's not just a one off that would suggest it is actually a thing you're doing and not just one or two huffy people.

Time poor person here too who works on a checkout. Honestly maybe if you have that little time to shop and you’re that aggregated you need to find another way to do it or enlist help of some form. I honestly mean that. Sorry things are hard. Juggling is insanely difficult four kids, elderly relatives, ft job and last year I realised with all my non stop running, speeding in the car, lists, tension etc I was headed for a heart attack so made changes. Asked people at the school for help, asked work could I do weekends instead of two of the school days etc. Look at what’s stressing you and figure out what iou can change. It’s not good for you

Ugh so many rude PPs, if they really behave how they say!

I have had incredibly busy jobs, seriously unwell family members, my own health problems, and now have a small DC. I have NEVER been a deliberate twat to anyone in a queue or shop!

Why would you want to teach your DC impatience, intolerance and rudeness?? Just a no from me.

Been said already I can see, but I don't think the first example was your fault. You don't have eyes in the back of your head. The person behind should be more aware.

Oh dear , bad luck I guess .
if I was behind you in the post office I’d catch your attention and say “ hi 👋 think you’re next “
and I wouldn’t get mad if you were blocking my access to the supermarket fridge,” I’d say excuse me could I just “

For the last time. I don't expect people to hurry up for me, I just expect them to be self aware enough to share the space in a way that I can move around them without being held up. I also stay out of their way out of common courtesy.

You're the one that went on a rant at me about disabled people with angry emojis, accusing me of things I never said and wittering on about your doctor. I call that rude.

Not by far.

I kid you not, I have just been in the car driving and came up to a zebra crossing. A guy was walking up to the zebra crossing with his eyes glued to his phone. He obviously wanted to cross the road so I stopped to let him cross. The guy stopped right at the curb ready to cross, eyes still engrossed in his phone blissfully unaware I’m sat there waiting for him to cross. I waited a while before deciding to continue driving. Only when my car started moving again did he realise I’d been sat there waiting for him to cross!

Green fairy you have been the rudest in this thread.

No I haven't been rude to you. I've given my opinion. It's down right rude to expect other people to speed up to your pace just because you are in a hurry. You are in a hurry, that should not affect other people.

Talking to me roughly or sharply won't get you anywhere. My legs won't automatically move faster just because you want them to. If this where the case I would have done it myself years ago instead of being in pain every time I try to move fast. Just wait. You are in a hurry, I get that. Don't just assume people are dawdling for the fun of it. I will continue shopping at my pace as long as possible to keep my independence. If that means people like you have to wait a few seconds then so be it. Your shopping is not more important than mine . Be patient, show tolerance.

What sort of area do you live in OP? It is certainly true in the city suburb I live in which has become increasingly busy and overcrowded in recent years with a steep rise in nasty, intolerant, impatient people. Where once it was a rarity to hear a car horn, it's now constant, with people flying off the handle at the slightest hesitation, with lots of aggressive, inconsiderate driving. It's the same in the shops etc. I too often feel the rage when someone is dithering or dawdling, although I can be guilty too when my mind is elsewhere, but I'm never rude, just say a polite excuse me and most people do move out of the way.

It's got so bad that we're planning to move right out of the city to somewhere less busy as this has become such a stressful place to live. From what we've experienced so far on our trips to the proposed new area, people do seem nicer and more tolerant. I really hope it stays that way!

When someone says they will treat people sharply or roughly just because they carnt move very fast that is the response you get. It's very rude to expect some to move quickly just to benefit you because they are in such a hurry. It's very rude. If they answer like this then they will get a rude response. If they are in a hurry that's their business , not mine. It shouldn't affect my day for force me into a situation that will leave me in pain.