DH and Business Class Flights

So you don’t want to go to see elderly, less mobile Pil, because you saw them 12 months ago and are quite happy to let DH go by himself to celebrate the milestone, ( I’m going to guess a milestone anniversary, or birthday) but have a problem with him taking his son to see his grandparents, because he will have to travel business class with his dad, but are happy to put him in economy?.
I question what have Pil and SS done, that makes you prioritise home improvements over DH family, (especially avoiding a milestone event).

Disagree with the majority. DSS is young and will bounce back from an economy flight. I travelled for a year late 20s and it was fine. He's even younger.

It's different now I'm older, I couldn't do it without spending the first 2 days in bed.

If he wants to go he is getting a economy ticket paid for. If he want to do BC he can work / save for the difference in cost. But I expect he'd rather spend his hard earned cash on pints or whatever. Always easy spending other people's money.

It sounds as if you’ve settled into your new life really well and have ‘outgrown’ the constant gruelling visits to relatives back home in the UK.

I think you should admit this and tell DH that you don’t want to make such frequent trips from now on and would like to start taking some proper holidays somewhere else. It isn’t really about the money, is it?

Many people live across the globe from their families and part of that is everyone accepting that you can’t pop back even once a year, let alone twice, especially as everyone gets older, sadly.

Hi OP, we are flying business class next year to a family wedding and our DC will be in Premium. I'm not paying for them to join us. Usually we fly together (often go economy and back BC if it's overnight), or PE both ways, but sometimes compromise is needed.

Many years ago my PIL paid for our flights to the US and they flew BC we were in economy. My FIL recently booked BC when we travelled together and we are at the other end of the plane, did I mind? No, as money doesn't grow on trees.

When I travel, it comes out of personal, not family money. Surely, your dh just needs to contribute the same to the family pot and spend his personal money on the flights. Then it means you can still do all the house repairs, whatever, he still gets to fly BC, but he has to cut back on coffees and hobbies and new clothes, etc for however long. Problem solved.

Are these joint savings?

Can DH fund his son's ticket from his own money?

I think the compromise is both DH and DSS go economy.

It's not your job to fund DSS.

When I was that age I would have been booked in premium economy whilst the ‘proper grown ups’ were in business or first class. Same for DH and his family. You don’t need the comfort or suffer with jet lag the same way when you’re 18 vs. 50 and business class, especially to/from Aus is something to be earned IMO. Also, and probably more importantly, 2 BC tickets sounds like it’s pushing it for you financially. So absolutely DSS should be in economy/premium economy and then DH can decide whether he wants to join him or upgrade himself.

He is being offered a fully paid flight + expenses to the UK as an ADULT
Unless he is earning a full time salary, he is not really in the same category as an earning adult, is he?

I'm curious whether the posters who are saying "same class, end of" actually have the experience with long hauls and juggling costs of visiting family at great distance.

The OP& her DH were using economy for years, they don't see it as beneath them.
They just got a bit older and need the upgrade to survive the trip in good conditions.
DSS is supposedly a healthy adult.
It's more important for him to get the mobility (getting the ticket funded when relevant) than getting the luxury (going BC this one time).

It's different going BC because you are loaded and accepting the practical necessity, but being well aware of the costs

By the sound of it you are primarily not going because you don’t want to go. Saving the money is a nice bonus. I’d let him treat his son if he wants to.

Both should be flying economy. It's a long flight, yes, but you can recover over a couple of days.

I completely agree. When I was that age my DM and her partner would occasionally fly business class and I would be in economy. I wasn’t upset in the slightest. Business class is a massive luxury I would never have expected it, in fact I was grateful they were paying for my economy flights as a young adult!

Once you fly business (long haul), you can’t go back…

But I will go against the grain and say his son can fly economy. Long flights are much easier at that age, and it sets an expectation - IMO!

I don't have any qualms about shoving my dd and her bf in economy when we go away together, usually we are with them but for longer flights we might be in Premium Economy or Business. I would never have expected anything other than economy when my parents were paying!

The other alternative would be they both fly premium I guess. I actually prefer Premium to Biz on some airlines as I sleep on my side and the lie flat seats don't really do it for me, I never recline them fully but sleep in a zero gravity position

Well if it's good enough for Gordon Ramseys kids? He IS 18, not 5.

I don’t see why they can’t fly DSS economy while dad goes BC. DSS is 18 - a young man. I bet he wouldn’t mind travelling in economy. It is a bad habit for him to get used to bc as when he starts working and paying for himself. he might only be able to afford economy. Many older people prefer BC for health reasons - especially on such a long flight.

By the way, my mind is boggled that some people seem not to think twice about flying bc. I have only ever done this when work is paying for it.

They both go business class or they both go economy.

Why not just ask him - hey we can afford to pay for your ticket to the UK, it'll just be economy though, do you want to come?

If DSS is in uni term surely he shouldn't be going anyway?

Most airlines won’t let you swap seats

We pay for extra legroom in economy, as DH is over 6 feet. We did a long haul flight last week, so it’s fresh in my mind. It was Emirates and the inflight entertainment was very good.

If you want business class, but can’t afford it, why not do that?

I would have no problem shoving an adult dc in economy, if the starting position had been them not going at all.

Dad is flying BC because a) he's paying & b) he needs the additional comfort because he's older.

Ds can fly economy because someone else is paying!

& yes they can swap seats for a couple of hours if Dad wants to treat his ds to a taste of the posh seats.

I would agree it's different for:

• kids too young to fly unsupervised
• if it were a vital trip & the kids HAD to attend

but for a young adult who doesn't actually need to go but is coming along for the ride, fair enough.

I might bung him a few hundred spending money & say it was his sweetener for sucking it up in EC (my young adult dc would be very happy with this).

As per usual, if it was your own child, this post would not have been created, as it wouldn’t have been a problem to spend that extra £4k on your own DC. Excuses of needing that money elsewhere is just that- an excuse.

Surely if the issue is budget, it’s simple.

You have 8k to spend on flights, that can be 1. Business class flight or 2. Economy flights.

The other 8k is being spent on doing XYZ to the house, so your DH can take DSS back, but within the flight budget (which means both of them flying economy).