DH and Business Class Flights

This!

An 18 yo won’t be anything like as uncomfortable as an older adult in the back of the plane. Also presumably it’s the choice he’s offered - son, you can come but I’m afraid we can’t stump up for BC for you?!

@Macaroni46

the big difference is that Op would have earned the privilege of Business class. Children need something to aim for! If everything single thing is handed to them on a plate , where is their drive, motivation, ambition, etc going to come from? The need to see that working hard = ability to buy nice things for oneself.

The issue here, though, is that op's DH seems to feel they can afford it. Affording is always a value judgment based on how much people value something. That's the stumbling block in this situation.

Personally, BC is if you have money to throw around OR if needs must. For an older adult, needs maybe must. For a uni students, needs absolutely do not must. And you don’t have money to throw around.

Equally, it would be awful for the two of them to sit in different classes. So, either DH sucks it up in economy bulkhead, or you get uni students ok on the basis it’s fully paid for.

How is he able to take a month off anyway? Would he be coming back earlier than DH? Maybe he can go BC and come back economy if traveling alone.

@Calliopespa ,

‘It might all be different if it was the op making the decision regarding her own DS, but it's her DH. I just don't think it’s worth the aggro if they can afford it. Blended families have enough to tiptoe round as it is.’

But they can’t ’afford’ it in the sense I would use. Virtually anyone with savings can afford business class in the literal sense of being able to pay at that moment.

But, for most of them, there are better choices for that amount of money. For me, everyone goes business if it has no effect on the rest of their plans. If it does, it is appalling value for money.

Of course , you could try talking to the young adult and asking them how much they care. Most young people would find a long haul holiday exciting enough and wouldn’t be in the least bit bothered where they sat in the plane.

I didn’t fly business until I was in my mid twenties, when I was going away on business. And I would wager that’s true of most on here. They are applying middle aged values to a teenager!

Well I think in that analogy its more like driving in the Mercedes and not letting the teen travel in the same car.

It might all be different if it was the op making the decision regarding her own DS, but it's her DH. I just don't think its worth the aggro if they can afford it. Blended families have enough to tiptoe round as it is.

Lost count of how many times you said he’s an adult, like turning 18 makes a difference. If 9t is genuinely your money as you’re hinting at, you put most in, and same for other joint expenses then sure you get to do this, say no, but you tell him it’s you who said no as it’s your money, don’t make his dad take the blame.

if however overall expenses are a lot more shared than the 80/20 you’re stating, then I don’t think you get to dictate and I’m not sure I actually beleive if it was your own child flying solo with you you’d put them in economy whilst you sat alone in business.

@Calliopespa ,

‘I'm not sure the Montblanc analogy is as accurate as going out for a family meal and making the teens skip a starter.’

No, because with a family meal, the meal is the activity. On a holiday (especially a long one), the flight is merely a way of accessing the activity-the holiday itself.

A better analogy would be a family meeting for a meal in town and, as the parents travelled by a nice Mercedes, booking a luxury taxi for the teen to join them, as otherwise it would be unfair.

I'm not sure the Montblanc analogy is as accurate as going out for a family meal and making the teens skip a starter.

No one can properly explain why they have to travel in the same class.

If you treat yourself to a Montblanc pen, do you get one for all of your children, so they don’t have to write with a Bic or similar?

Or, if you treat yourself to a personal trainer, does that mean you do the same for your children or it would be unfair?

I don’t think there is anything wrong with everyone flying first class or even private jet, if you can comfortably afford it and want to. But, if money is an issue and you have to make choices, there is nothing cruel about spending 20 odd hours apart, especially if an adult has back or sleeping issues in economy and the older child/young adult doesn’t.

It is very much personal choice and I recently chose to fly premium economy with both of my sons (BA, where the premium is all theirs and none of it mine!). But, if I had flown business and put them in economy there would have been nothing wrong with that either.

I agree with this.

Am I right in thinking your DH wants his son to travel bc? If this is the case, I think you need to tread carefully. This is a trip to family, that is clearly important to your DH.

As a SM I think there are extra layers in these situations that need to be heeded. I would be cautious about looking as though you are having any kind of impedimentary role in that. Ultimately op, if you are "happy" for him to take his son economy, we are only talking the difference between an economy and bc, not the whole bc fare as a potential saving.

I'd be inclined to step back and contextualise it that way. It isn't a full bc fare at issue in those circumstances; it's only the difference. Is that really going to go so far on house tweaks?

Both fly economy or both business. It’s not right to stick DSS back in economy if your DH is in business

2 x economy would surely cost less than one business class?

I fly long haul a lot and recently tried BC for the first time. It did certainly make a difference. But as I can't afford to keep doing it, I came to a compromise decision of flying economy but spending freely on extras to make the flight easier, rather than just picking the cheapest option. Eg -

Arranging a stopover for a day or two in a nice destination halfway, with a decent hotel to sleep properly in.

Carefully timing each leg of the journey so I don't have to sleep on the plane, and to gradually manage jetlag, even if the flight costs more or I have to book separate flights for each leg.

Paying extra for the seats with extra legroom (I'm tall).

etc. etc.

I end up spending maybe £500 - £800 more than if I just brought up a list of flights and booked the cheapest one, but still way less than business class. For each leg of the journey I have to sit in a seat, during daytime (with extra legroom so not so bad) for 8 - 12 hours or whatever, which is not such a hardship when everything else about the journey is pleasant.

Maybe your DH & DSS could try something like that?

If DSS isn't on the same flights could you give him some different options eg
Fly economy direct
Fly premium economy with 1 change
Fly business class but with cheaper carrier with perhaps longer layover

All that fit within a budget so decide on an amount you can afford eg 4k aus and then offer him choices.

Yet you’d still fly BC. Think of the good you could do with the money you’d save if you flew cattle class too!

Is DSS not family then? YABVU

Apologies - I thought you meant they should fly economy on those airlines!!

Yes. Makes total sense. He hasn't earned the money to pay for it!

No way I'd be paying for kids to fly BC. It's just so indulgent. Whenever I walk through the BC cabin (on the way to the back of the plane) and see kids sprawled out in their seats it makes me think less of their parents.

Yes I'll get called jealous, but it's more than that. It's elitist and indulgent. If I had the money I'd stick the kids at the back, even if I were in BC, and use the money 'saved' to do some good in the world. God knows there's kids whose lives could be changed by it.

I know not the purpose of the post but if you’re travelling this frequently how are you not collecting air miles etc to put towards reducing your flights in the first place? Then the cost of flying DSS wouldn’t be this amount anyway?

Anyway the actual point…if he’s usually flying BC then he should this time too. Why suddenly put him in cattle class if he doesn’t usually sit there?

Really?? I cannot imagine paying for kids to fly business unless they are small enough they need to be /should be near you- which is maybe 14/15 and under? It just sounds like a key step in bringing up entitled children- I remember my wealthy boss’s teen child complaining to him about their school trip to France from Australia- that the flights were economy and the hotel not 5 star. I thought he should realise that this should be a cringing parent moment for him, but he didn’t.

my parents fly business, to visit us and on family trips with us. We still don’t. It’s not a lack of love.

Nah, I think she doesn't want to go is because she can't be arsed about her husband's family.

'We live in Oz, we fly home pretty often as a family - every 12-18 months and my parents visit every 12-18 too. So it's never too long between visits, DH's family don't travel any more, due to health and cost. DH wants to go home to the UK for a family milestone, from a completely selfish pov - I want him to go alone. I saw everyone last year, will be seeing my parents in a couple of months for Christmas, so don't feel the urgency to go home atm. (especially in Feb when it's bleak).'

and doesn't like her stepson very much. I still don't understand who the 'family' in her first sentence is as there seems to be her, her husband and his son, who she doesn't seem to think of as 'family'.

Norse has lie-flat seats in their business class, as do Air AsiaX. You won’t get the fancy food or a lounge but from the videos I’ve seen it looks acceptable and certainly good value.

Not helpful but I came here for a juicy thread because, despite reading the title twice, I thought your DH got into a fight in business class! My eyes must be tired! 🤣