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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask your honest opinions on “nesting” post separation

76 replies

ScrimpAndShave · 26/09/2025 00:30

We live this way. 50/50 arrangement. DC live in family home. 2nd property is shared and myself & STBXH live there alone when it’s not our turn to be with DC, swapping over throughout the week. I think people tend to think it’s a very strange or unhealthy arrangement but of course I never hear a true opinion it and I’m intrigued to hear different perspectives.

OP posts:
Anna20MFG · 26/09/2025 00:52

It has worked well for us.

I suppose we are on reasonable terms and we both prioritise our kids wellbeing. I don't mean that those with different arrangements don't prioritize their children and their stability. I mean that this common goal means we are more open to compromise mse and flexibility.

The other aspect is our eldest has now left for uni, so far a large part of the year there is a separate bedroom in the main house for exH to use.

Also, after a long time of not engaging with other relationships, it looks likely I will have another place to stay, so exH will have his flat to himself rather than me staying there, which did feel a bit awkward.

We entered into it thinking it would get us through some exam years, and now we are seeing where life takes us.