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AIBU?

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Original poster

Do I eat Dylan?

112 replies

MonsterX · 25/09/2025 20:33

Meet Dylan. He is an iced Dylan Dinosaur from Waitrose no less. Hand selected by my child(5) 3 days ago. Dylan lovingly sits on our worktop taunting me and my low carb diet. DS does not want Dylan. DS now prefers hot cross buns and keeps pushing Dylan away.

I've had a really shitty day where DP and I have fallen out and we're currently doing that awkward polite talking I hate. I've just made myself a hot chocolate to take to bed ... Would I be unreasonable to take Dylan with me and eat his head? I'd leave his body. I'm on a diet after all 🤭

Do I eat Dylan?
OP posts:
Keepingthingsinteresting · 25/09/2025 21:24

UnmarketableTomato · 25/09/2025 20:42

You snooze, you lose.

The real question, head first or tail first?

Show quote history

Bite his head off don’t make him suffer by eating him from the feet up, no need to be cruel after all!

WWomble · 25/09/2025 21:21

Nah, just hide the litter! Maybe sprinkle crumbs on ‘D’H underwear?!

Original poster
MonsterX · 25/09/2025 21:20

@catzrulz snack a jacks suck. Get yourself down to Waitrose

OP posts:
Original poster
MonsterX · 25/09/2025 21:19

You'll all be pleased to know I've successfully freed Dylan of his sugary armour and have eaten him. I just need to hide the remains. I didn't factor that the bin is downstairs so another polite encounter awaits me.

OP posts:
catzrulz · 25/09/2025 21:17

To help, I'll eat the rest of Dylan and send you my 2, yes 2, Snack a Jack's..... please.

lifeonmars100 · 25/09/2025 21:17

Scoff him down, after all, tomorrow is another day and you can start the diet again

Loub1987 · 25/09/2025 21:17

No to eating Dylan, he looks not so tasty. A big yes to eating a hot cross bun!

NotTheMrMenAgain · 25/09/2025 21:16

Look at the size and shape of Dylan’s head - that’s never right! He’s completely top heavy and probably falls on his face when he tries to walk. He’s basically a mutant and you’ve put him out of his misery. It was a mercy, so well done!

ScruffMuffin · 25/09/2025 21:15

Eat the rest of him, before I come round and hoover up the remains. HTH

Gonners · 25/09/2025 21:15

MonsterX · 25/09/2025 21:00

So I've eaten Dylan's beak (do dinosaurs have beaks/snouts maybe?!). The biscuit is unsurprisingly delicious with a delightful ginger spice. It is more a soft bake than that crunchy ginger bread man of Greggs. The icing is again is more soft and doesn't shatter, but I'm not a fan...it is too sweet. If I skinned Dylan of his icing he would be insanely tasty for a children's biscuit.

Then strip him and finish him off! It would be a kindness, really. I mean, who wants to be abandoned, half-eaten?

WWomble · 25/09/2025 21:14

YABHHHU

You Are Being Highly, Highly, Highly Unreasonable.

Just eat him, all of him!

DrPrunesqualer · 25/09/2025 21:14

Wolfpa · 25/09/2025 21:11

If you eat him standing up gravity will make the calories fall to your feet.

So you end up being Bigfoot 🤣🤣

DrPrunesqualer · 25/09/2025 21:13

I’m against eating dinosaurs.

Their existence is fragile, look what happened last time

Wolfpa · 25/09/2025 21:11

If you eat him standing up gravity will make the calories fall to your feet.

Tryonemoretime · 25/09/2025 21:10

Dylan would be sorry if you left his body behind, because then he'd be nobody. Be kind to Dylan. Eat him all!

Roomforapony · 25/09/2025 21:09

Dylan is sad as he knows he is the last dinosaur 🦖 left in the world your kitchen so put him out of his misery…EAT HIM!

GoodBones85 · 25/09/2025 21:09

Eat him!! Eat. All. Of. Him!

Everyone knows calories don’t count if you have had a shit day……

grumpygrape · 25/09/2025 21:03

Forget Dylan, eat Hot X Buns toasted with plenty of butter. Tell child Dylan ate all the H x Buns so if he eats Dylan he's eating HXBuns

Original poster
MonsterX · 25/09/2025 21:00

So I've eaten Dylan's beak (do dinosaurs have beaks/snouts maybe?!). The biscuit is unsurprisingly delicious with a delightful ginger spice. It is more a soft bake than that crunchy ginger bread man of Greggs. The icing is again is more soft and doesn't shatter, but I'm not a fan...it is too sweet. If I skinned Dylan of his icing he would be insanely tasty for a children's biscuit.

OP posts:
momtoboys · 25/09/2025 20:56

Allelbowsandtoes · 25/09/2025 20:35

Eat Dylan, EAT HIM ALL

I'm with everyone else!

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 25/09/2025 20:56

You would be unreasonable to only eat part of Dylan.

FancyCatSlave · 25/09/2025 20:55

I ate an entire packet of party rings yesterday at a low point. I don’t even like them. Dylan wouldn’t make it up the stairs, I’d have scoffed all of him whilst making the hot chocolate.

rebeccachoc · 25/09/2025 20:54

I don't want to ruin your healthy eating, but imagine your son seeing a headless Dylan, it would be so upsetting for him. You've got to protect your son and eat him all!

ProjectsGalore · 25/09/2025 20:52

See ya Dylan!

snoffle · 25/09/2025 20:52

I don't think Dylan is going to be all that tasty either, but desperate times call for desperate measures. Be the asteroid to that biscuit.

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