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AIBU?

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Original poster

Do I eat Dylan?

112 replies

MonsterX · 25/09/2025 20:33

Meet Dylan. He is an iced Dylan Dinosaur from Waitrose no less. Hand selected by my child(5) 3 days ago. Dylan lovingly sits on our worktop taunting me and my low carb diet. DS does not want Dylan. DS now prefers hot cross buns and keeps pushing Dylan away.

I've had a really shitty day where DP and I have fallen out and we're currently doing that awkward polite talking I hate. I've just made myself a hot chocolate to take to bed ... Would I be unreasonable to take Dylan with me and eat his head? I'd leave his body. I'm on a diet after all 🤭

Do I eat Dylan?
OP posts:
quantumbutterfly · 25/09/2025 22:00

MonsterX · 25/09/2025 21:55

@PlumpHobbit never fear. He's been eaten... All the remains are sticky parts of his delicious skin. Obviously to avoid the awkward conversation I've stuffed into my bedside drawer. No doubt I'll forget by tomorrow and I'll have an unpleasant shock in the near future.

Although I did like PP's advice of flushing the remains. I didn't want to risk the evidence refusing to make it past the U bend.

Sugar is water soluble, but just in case, you could wrap it in loo roll......sugar is also quite deliquescent depending on humidity, how steamy is your bedside drawer?

Grainsofmigraine · 25/09/2025 22:00

I suppose on the way downstairs to the bin it was a case of 'doyathinkhesawrus?' I'll get my coat......🏃‍♀️

SapphireSeptember · 25/09/2025 21:57

I had a Dylan the other day! He was very nice. (In fact I had two.) Nice to see a biscuit with proper icing and not fondant. Most of the ones I see in Waitrose and M&S trick me that way!

allmymonkeys · 25/09/2025 21:56

I think you are going to have to eat the whole Dylan.

You can't leave a headless corpse for your DS to come downstairs to in the morning.

Worse to leave a Dylan head bleeding crumbs on the kitchen counter.

So, yup, sorry - get devouring.

Anotherdayanotherpound · 25/09/2025 21:56

Voted YABU only because you need to eat the whole thing!

Original poster
MonsterX · 25/09/2025 21:55

@PlumpHobbit never fear. He's been eaten... All the remains are sticky parts of his delicious skin. Obviously to avoid the awkward conversation I've stuffed into my bedside drawer. No doubt I'll forget by tomorrow and I'll have an unpleasant shock in the near future.

Although I did like PP's advice of flushing the remains. I didn't want to risk the evidence refusing to make it past the U bend.

OP posts:
snackatack · 25/09/2025 21:54

I said you are unreasonable - you need to eat him all!

LittleGreenDragons · 25/09/2025 21:53

I didn't factor that the bin is downstairs so another polite encounter awaits me.

Hide it in his sock drawer and deny all knowledge?

nomas · 25/09/2025 21:49

As a fellow low carber, I don’t think it’s worth it. But I do hate gingerbread.

You will regret it!

PlumpHobbit · 25/09/2025 21:48

This has the makings of a thread for classics, how do we nominate?

You cant leave poor Dylan without a head, so you need to eat all of him, so his body parts can be reunited and the currently rather blissful smile put back on his face

SocksAndTheCity · 25/09/2025 21:47

I only just saw the thread, my local Waitrose closes at 10pm and I'll never make it Sad

It will be open in the morning though Smile

CuppaWhiteTea · 25/09/2025 21:43

Soft gingerbread with just the tiniest bit of icing is the pinnacle of snacks. My dad used to buy me a gingerbread man like that from our local baker’s every Saturday morning and I’d lie in bed eating it and watching The Chart Show. Best part of the week. That baker’s closed down in about 1998 and I’m still mourning the loss.

quantumbutterfly · 25/09/2025 21:42

LancashireButterPie · 25/09/2025 21:41

Eat him in full view of your husband.

Too late I think, but performatively biting Dylan's head off would have been plausibly deniable.

ANTIHEROTAYLORSWIFT · 25/09/2025 21:42

Well that’s the end of Dylan. Sweet sugary dreams.

Original poster
MonsterX · 25/09/2025 21:41

@Brianthepug please do and report back. Everyone needs a little Dylan in their lives, except @frecklejuice who is actively trying to rid her life of not so little living Dylan

OP posts:
LancashireButterPie · 25/09/2025 21:41

Eat him in full view of your husband.

quantumbutterfly · 25/09/2025 21:40

Flush the evidence like they do in the movies, thus no frosty politeness required when disposing of contraband frosting.

LeftieRightsHoarder · 25/09/2025 21:39

Dylan exists to make you happy. Eat and enjoy!

Brianthepug · 25/09/2025 21:33

I need a Dylan in my life. I might have to go to Waitrose now.

frecklejuice · 25/09/2025 21:31

My 17 year old is called Dylan and is being very annoying this evening, I wish someone would eat him!

Kevinbaconsrealwife · 25/09/2025 21:30

Eat every last crumb of Dylan and lick your lips with satisfaction afterwards….now slinking off for yet another mini chocolate bar ……

OneWildBiscuit · 25/09/2025 21:28

Allelbowsandtoes · 25/09/2025 20:35

Eat Dylan, EAT HIM ALL

Chow down!

Foundationns · 25/09/2025 21:27

East Dylan, he's only little. Relish the sugar rush. Sleep well.

SybTheGeek · 25/09/2025 21:26

MonsterX · 25/09/2025 20:48

@MousseMousse no it's not a weigh in to get over the threshold or anything. It's a health check point. It does weight and height, blood pressure etc. It's so you can feel bad about yourself at work as well as at home.

😂

MousseMousse · 25/09/2025 21:26

MonsterX · 25/09/2025 20:48

@MousseMousse no it's not a weigh in to get over the threshold or anything. It's a health check point. It does weight and height, blood pressure etc. It's so you can feel bad about yourself at work as well as at home.

Well definitely eat all of Dylan then

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