Genuinely, what the hell do I do?

I’m going to say the only thing that I think you actually need to do here - tell your partner the truth. See if the relationship is salvageable. You say you are financially secure, so go to therapy if that’s financially an option for you. Get some couples therapy and see if you can find the spark again before you blow up your life. This is what I would tell my best friend. Speak to eachother.

Leave I have an uncle mid 70's his wife mid 50's it is not a good outcome. They have a child.

I have a sharp, dry sense of humour yes but it’s not nasty.

Dry humour is one thing. But you used the word sharp. And that is very telling, you obviously make digs even if you are in denial about it. And it is nasty to do that.

If you’re going to stay with the man for his life insurance and your bills paid you should at least cut out the sarcastic quips. It’s horrible when someone is sarky all the time and then whines about ‘feeling they have to censor themselves’. Also digs said with a smile on your face are still digs. It’s all passive aggressive immaturity.

Pick your the life you want. Don’t be a dick because of your own choices though.

He probably can sense that you feel that way and it’s the reason why he’s become defensive about your “sarcasm”. He probably also feels a similar way and is insecure about you being a lot younger. It’s bound to happen eventually.
You have two options: 1. You ask him about his feelings on the situation, tell him how you’ve been feeling and see if you can build some common ground, maybe things will get better if you both understand each other. 2. You leave and realize that many ppl have went through separations, you struggle for a little while and eventually things get better.

Just be honest to the poor man before you screw him out of his inheritance. Do not marry him. You clearly don't 'love' him, so stop pretending for the future money or the child you share. Let him continue to be a good dad and stop using his PTSD as an excuse. Everyone has issues. You admitted you are 'sarcastic' so you are clearly baiting him. You clearly don't love him. You clearly want his money. And I fear that you are manipulative enough to get a reaction to his triggers. Leave .... Money isn't everything. The lawyers will take most of it which which will lead to more hatred and resentment. Be honest. You are young and it's clear that you want to go out and meet younger people and enjoy what that entails. Think about the future of your young son and the great relationship he can have with his father before the lawyers and family courts get involved. That's when it gets toxic and poisonous.

I entered my only marriage knowing I didn't love him as much as he loved me but also knew instinctively that I could grow old with him. We're now nearly twenty years in, I can confidently say I love him and the reason I had to, was I wanted to adopt. He did too.
However, I tried so hard to avoid getting married because I took the commitment seriously. I had a past of pushing away to try to get the guy to take the responsibility of breaking up by being confrontational and sarcastic. So, I empathize but urge you to take an honest look at your motifs because if you continue with the wrong spirit inside your child will feel it, and be damaged if you let them experience your behaviour towards your boyfriend.
Hope this helps.

Everyone saying end the reactionship. But honestly. These situations happen. These thoughts come along. They eat us up. Resentment builds on both sides. Sounds like you are tired and fed up and all you know is the benefits or losses. Like counting the give or take this is very common in relationships around about that time 7 to 10 years mark. Every relationship has different stages. In terms of marriage for example, you marry multiple people in the same person. The person you marry, the person you start a life with, ghe persin you have kids with, the person after the kids grow up and leave etc. Then theres all the seasons in between and difficulties and celebrations. Its not always going to be exciting or happy. But it's also not always going to be a drag. If you believe deep down inside that you resent this person and spend more time thinking about life without him than you do of life with him, then you should possibly go to couples therapy or therapy for yourself. If you realise after self reflection that you really cannot stand this man and you think you both and your child would be in a better place seperated then make that decision. Its really not a straightforward yes or no answer. There is always a lot to consider when seperating especially with children and stability in mind. Don't just stay for the stable income though. Imagine life if he didnt wirk or was unwell and couldnt or got made redundent etc then how would you feel about the realtionship? If there was not benefit involved would you stull love him and stay with him? Take care in making the decision. You have to live with it for the rest of your life and so does your child and partner.

OP you need counselling to help you decide what it is you really need.
If you decide you can’t stay for the long term make a plan as to how you can make your life as pleasant as possible and how you can cope as a single mother. Things will be financially easier when your wee boy is of school age.
Organise activities so you avoid spending time with your partner at times when he is most sensitive.
I realise it is so frustrating being accused of intending insult when you just make an innocent statement but sometimes they seem determined to take offence.
Good luck

Let that man go. Don't stay for his money.

you're encouraging OP to let this man live a lie imposed onto him so she can be comfortable financially? and then leave him once someone makes her heart race?? yikes

or perhaps her "sarcastic" nature is a root cause of his "anger." one can only take so much and she implies she is heavy on it

sounds to me like you dont (or perhaps you do) understand that you are basically henpecking and making insulting jabs and he has finally had enough. It takes two

To be honest, I am always suspicious of people who claim to have a sarcastic sense of humour - its often a cover up for being a passive aggressive arsehole. You are jabbing at him because of how you feel and he is reacting. If he has PTSD he needs to get to grips with that, but from what you have said, you really need to leave this relationship.

It's very sad and I'm sorry for you both. I've watched a friend and his wife with a similar age gap and can see it's a struggle as 14 years is a gap that grows bigger mainly as he gets older. It may sound odd but even his childhood would be different from yours - if you think about it at 14 he was starting exam courses and you were being born ! You do have an added issue with his PTSD - is / has he had help for that ? It would scare me as nobody really knows how it can affect someone. Sarcasm is actually horrible - it's not useful, clever or funny and hurtful and that's how he is probably feeling. I expect it's a just a coping mechanism for you and maybe you don't realise you're doing it at the time but it's not nice. I think that you would benefit from counselling and just talking to a person as you've said you have nobody to talk to and it'll be helpful for you to have a dialogue about the situation and counsellors are experienced in this type of situation. Then when you feel happier with yourself and what you want and need from life, then talk to him - maybe with the counsellor. Maybe he's feeling unhappy too but doesn't want or know how to talk about it. All I can see is staying as you are you will get more resentful and unhappy and it's likely to eek into the rest of your life, it's hard for it not to and it may lead to a not so happy home for your son. We don't know how long we have to live but it's a shame to be living it and not being happy and you will find a way of doing that but I think you do need help to do that. I do wish you well.

I have a DH 11 years older and if the age gap is bothering you now, it will only get worse. It wasn't noticeable when we were younger, only recently, and now at 49 and 60, it feels like he is nearing retirement while I am mid career. Of course it can work but you have to love him and be committed, so try to be honest with yourself. If it is too much hard work for either of you, it may be better to split sooner rather than later.

Because she is onto a good thing, she doesn't love him but he pays for everything.

If you don’t love him then leave, sounds like you only want to stay for security and money which is awful! He deserve to have someone who loves him and wants to be with him

Exactly this. You got it on one.

I don't think your feelings are invalid. You show a high level of self awareness. Seven years in and a child as well, exposes the tensions in anyone's relationship. However, you are beginning to question whether the things that are good about your situation outweigh the things that are difficult. Meanwhile, neither of you are talking about the underlying, escalating tension but are 'acting out' instead.
Someone else has said it, and I think they are right, you may need someone to help you both talk to each other without the risk of one of you having a major meltdown during the process. But for that to happen you are going to have to admit to your partner that you are not happy. He probably knows that anyway. He's probably not that happy.

Scary stuff and big things to think about. You don't have to act in haste, you can let it sit with you for a while before you take the next step. But it does sound like things are getting bad enough for you to want to do something. Good luck.

Sounds like even after 7 years you both don’t really know or understand each other. If you google ‘36 questions to fall in love’ & ‘questions to build intimacy’ it’ll give you some idea of how people build connections with each other. These questions get beneath the surface & help you to see new layers of each other & in a new light. Don’t give up just yet & good luck!

'sharp, dry sense of humour'.
I highly doubt that.
Have you ever heard the saying "sarcasm is the lowest form of wit"?

You don’t sound like you love him. If he didn’t provide financially for you what would you do? As you has spoken a lot about your security in your post. Also your child will pick up something isn’t right - kids always do. Personally, I’d go to see a counsellor on your own - to help you feel your way through this. Take care 💙

Sounds as though you're only staying because you enjoy the good life with him paying for everything, nice house etc. You should be embarrassed with yourself. You obviously love the lifestyle perks more than him, so let him go and find someone who actually appreciates him.

Trust me, dont stay.
Dont get into ANY relationship. Start planning. Own private bank account. Put as much away as you can.
go with your gut. x