Would you, under any circumstances allow a registered sex offender (previously jailed for rape with other reports of abusive and coercive control made more recently since release) around your child?
How would you feel if a friend who had previously reassured you during an earlier conversation that she had done a Claire’s law on said sex offender and it didn’t return anything serious had actively encouraged him to be around not only yours but also your friends children whilst knowing he’s a registered sex offender? (she knew this as social services had stepped in months prior and banned him from being around her child)
Timeline:
Had conversation around Jan/feb about Claire’s law and it just happened to come up and she said she had done one on him and said there was only minor assault charges from his youth
March onwards he was around my child
July she had no option but to disclose the information to me due to being put on a child protection plan and divulged he had been banned by SS from being around her son since February! Therefore she needed to make sure I wasn’t going to mention seeing them in eachothers company to their nursery who are involved in the SS plan.
Shes been majorly struggling with her mental health so I felt I couldn’t bring it up at the time (there was other outing things going on in July which meant it felt impossible to raise this issue)
I have now raised the issue and she has exploded at me calling me a bully. She’s saying I’m treating him like a paedofile - I explained that I don’t care what’s gone on with him in his past but if he’s not deemed fit to be around her child then I’ll trust SS on that, not someone who withheld this information from me for several months. Her argument is that he’s not banned from being around all children, just hers, because SS deem him a risk to her, not him. I told her she wasn’t safeguarding her child and I will.
I don’t particularly think he is a risk to children but feel like it was never her decision to make, knowing what she knew. Whilst I didn’t expect her to tell me off her own back he’s a SO, she just should never of encouraged him to be in the company of my child or anyone else’s.
Also now I’m in a horrible position of knowing what I know whilst being asked to keep it to myself, knowing they’ve had other friends children in and out of a padding pool naked in their garden.
I feel sick to the stomach over it and it just seems bizarre to me how blasé and dismissive of his crimes she actually is. She’s done all the SS courses and abused women courses so she should be able to see through any manipulation but either she’s too stubborn (which sadly I think is the case here), she’s being manipulated by him to believe it’s not a big deal or she genuinely doesn’t see the issue with a sex offender being around her child?
Am I in the minority here? She’s trying to persuade me I am…