To have let friend down last minute with dog sitting

Autistic veggie here and no way I could do it.

Id also be really upset and thrown at all this, the disregard of my disability by someone who should know me if they are my friend.

Changes of plans are tough but then all the new expectations, the stress of having to go to a dog parlour & communicate with someone new. Then what if something happened to the dog there, what if they cut his hair wrong will I be blamed?

The food would make me ill just waiting to do it, worrying if I got it wrong and I’d be paranoid of germs.

Honestly none of this says this person is a genuine friend 😕

Stick with your boundaries

Not fair to drop that on you, especially as she wants all the extras, entirely unnecessary to put that on to a friend doing you a favour.
You can get freeze dried raw if she's prepared to try that. Fine for a short period

You’re not being unreasonable at all, especially since you were going to be having him at yours. Not fair at all to expect a vegetarian to a) handle meat and especially b) keep it in their own fridge

I’m not vegetarian but I couldn’t cope with handling raw dog meat…….vivid memories of my grandmother’s dog who was fed on raw beast hearts…….they were gross! As for the grooming appointment…….your friend is taking the piss, the dog can wait 4 days surely?

I would hate that too! I am glad sense in the vote has prevailed!

YANBU at all - this is so cheeky of her. If you’re sitting the dog at your house it’s hugely presumptuous - and rude - to assume you’d be OK to even have meat products in your house/ kitchen, let alone having to prep them, touch them and smell them.

I once house sat for a vegetarian relative who was very insistent no meat crossed the threshold, and I completely understood this.

I’d probably be prepared to compromise if friend made up bags of the raw that just needed emptying into a bowl, but that’s only because I know how far in advance professional sitters need to be booked. Not all dogs have the kennel cough vaccine as standard and kennels won’t take unvaccinated dogs.

I feel for you @Rawfoodworries
You’ve been put in a really awkward position. If you’re definitely no longer doing it, please don’t feel bad, it’s not your issue at all and saying no because the goalposts have massively changed isn’t wrong.

As someone who is not autistic or vegetarian, I still sometimes find raw dog food unbearable - don’t put yourself through it even if it’s bagged up, preportioned etc, you’ll hate it so much.

And you’re not letting your friend down!

I wouldn't be happy about this either. It’s disrespectful - asking for one thing then moving the goal-posts and getting angry when the person declines to do as they’re told.

She should have told you, or not changed the dogs diet before she went. Kennels will not do raw feeding.

Your friend is being massively unreasonable.

You aren’t “letting her down at the last minute”, she’s at the very least foreseeable switched the tables on you. She should have told you at the outset.

Either she’s done this deliberately to manipulate you into something you’d have turned down if asked at the outset or she’s very stupid.

The appointment can obviously be rearranged to sometime outside of these four days. The food - I’m no expert but I’d have thought dry food plus the non meat elements, prepped in advance as far as possible, would be ok? But you’re totally not unreasonable to say no at this point.

You do realise that kibble contains meat and animal derivatives? Just because it’s not recognisably meat doesn’t mean it’s vegetarian.

that said, your friend shouldn’t throw huge changes at you, especially if she knows you’re autistic. Can she not portion up 4 days worth of meals so you can feed him easily without having to mess around mixing various things

I wouldn’t book grooming appointments for my pups while I’m away. It’s quite a big ask since they need to be taken to the salon and picked up within 1–2 hours, which I feel is too troublesome for my friend who is kindly helping me look after them. Also, even though I have two dogs and I’m not vegetarian, I personally can’t handle raw food. It’s not really about whether you’d be okay with it, but more that she never agreed with you on this before.

I'm completely fine with raw feeding, but your friend could absolutely prepare the meals and freeze them. It's a lot easier for you and no chance of you getting it wrong.

Gotta say between that and the grooming appointment I'd be miffed, though. A friend is a rep for a dog food brand and is giving me a 20kg free bag to try with my dog. I'm not actually transitioning her until December, when she's not showing. I don't want to risk upsetting her stomach/coat/whatever when it can be inconvenient, so why didn't it occur to your friend to just feed kibble until she's back? Especially with you being vegetarian and autistic!

Not unreasonable at all
We raw feed DDog but when he goes to stay with MIL or his Auntie Sue we send him with other food. His Auntie Sue has now said that she is happy to raw feed him and MIL usually takes him to the Groomer when he stays there (which does make me feel slightly judged but anyway) BUT I would never expect those things

Just do the raw ingredients without the meat and don't tell your friend, the dog will be fine, it's only for four days, she won't know the difference

Is she paying you to do all this?! Why on earth cant she prep the food in advance and freeze it and you just defrost it ?! Is her dog the pope/royalty?! Most dogs i know , though incredibly sweet eat their own poo, belts and things like that?!
Cracking an egg is one things. Asking you to complete a round of master chef for her doggo with no prior consent from you , whilst expecting you to ferry him back and forth to the groomers (presumably using your petrol etc) is another.
Ask her to prepare most of it , and give you some easy fixes and rearrange it if so inclined.
I am an animal lover and neurodiverse so I get it.
But this is being a cf.

your friend is right that it would cause an upset stomach if you fed him dried food instead, then you’d have a lot of problems on your hands. You cannot just feed him eggs, veg and oil instead. It’s her problem now. She should have considered this when she changed his diet 6wks ago, so this is on her. Asking you to take the dog to the groomer is totally taking the P. She should have changed the appointment to a date she is around. She is going to have to cancel or find someone else. She might not be happy, but it’s not your fault.

@Rawfoodworries is your friend paying you for the dog sitting? Are you staying at hers while she is away?

She should just pay for a professional dog sitter. I hate friends taking the piss like this.

I don't think you are being unreasonable about the food. She shouldn't have sprung it on you so late and put you in this position.

It's a bit mad of her to think expecting a vegetarian to feed raw food was OK without at least checking first. Raw meat stinks and adding extras to it means it takes longer to prepare his dinner so smelling it for even longer as well.

I suspect she'd struggle to find a kennels willing to do raw feeding even if it wasn't such short notice now. She should have told you or just let him go back to kibble for 4 days.

Even raw egg should be ok if kept in a fridge. Alternatively she could pre prepare the meals and you just crack an egg on top?
Booking the groomers is a bit of a cheek without asking you.

Given the stress I've recently had with sorting arrangements out for my dog, if I was let down at the last minute I'd be fuming.
However, i wouldn't book a groom and would make feeding as easy as possible.

Well the either cancel the appointment and and feed in kibble for 4 days or make alternative arrangements

you are completely correct

You absolutely shouldn’t have to do this if you’re not comfortable with it, don’t let her make you feel bad. However I have been a vegetarian since I was 2 (almost 40 years!) & raw feed my dog. His comes in pre sealed packs so I snip the end open then portion half out into his bowl with a fork that I never use for anything else. I end up not needing to touch the food at all. Then tip what’s left into a (bought for the purpose but any ice cream tub/tupperware type thing will do) pot with a lid & leave it in the fridge till the next meal.
I think though I’d suggest he has the kibble & if you’re happy to add the extra veggies & oils with that he will be ok for 4 days if you really want to have him still.