To have let friend down last minute with dog sitting

OP YANBU don't you dare back down and say you will do it.

This is supposed to be your friend so I'm presuming she knows you are both veggy and autistic with sensory struggles.

She should not just spring this on you and expect you to be okay with it! 😡

We are an neurodivergent household, two out of three of us love pets. One out of three of us can stomach being in the same room as raw meat, pet food smells, etc. She's being very unreasonable and really selfish not considering how this would affect you.

Risks??

what would they be then??

That's guilting someone into doing something they really are not comfortable with. Bottom line - it's not her dog, not her responsibility. If owners that concerned about their dog, they don't go away.

Dog owner here - YANBU. That's a big goal post to change!

There are two things that come to mind for me that might make it still possible for you to cope with feeding him. One i as others have suggests, a commercially available raw frozen dog food. They are usually complete (don't need anything adding) and can come either freeflow pellets or in ice cube shaped lumps in a bag, so you put the required number of lumps of frozen food into a dog bowl, let it defrost (in the fridge for the next day, or on the counter for the next meal) and then give to the dog, no need to touch the food directly (though you'd need to wash up the bowl afterwards). Would that be a thing you could cope with from a sensory perspective? You could pop cling film or a plastic bag over the bowl of food in the fridge, or assign a tupperware with a lid to him (you'd probably throw it out at the end of the visit) and just take the lid off to feed him.

The other thing and the one I'd recommend the most is that they make freeze dried raw food for dogs these days, that are fed just like kibble. Like this: Nature’s Menu Freeze Dried Chicken Dog Food | Jollyes One of the reasons this product was developed was for dogs on raw diets going on holiday and owners not having to deal with the mess and the faff!

4 days is just about enough time (well, 3 days now) for his owner to buy some and transition him over to it so that he doesn't get an upset tummy. If you think you could cope with this version, offer that to her as an option asap so she can start transitioning him over to it tomorrow. If you're happy with the egg and the veg bits, say that to her, so that this only needs to replace the fresh meat bit temporarily (Although it doesn't need the veg and egg and other additives, it might be easier to "sell" to her and to keep his gut happy if you're happy to keep those going.

They even sell small bags so she can't complain about buying a big bag and having it go to waste if she wants to put him straight back on her original food. And if you do go with this plan, don't let her guilt you into buying the food, you're saving her literally hundreds of pounds by looking after him, the least she can do is jolly well make it a bearable experience for you!

I didn’t mean it's fine for her, I meant it's fine for them to swap foods. I'm aware of the OP's issues but wondered if she'd cope with ready made bags. If not, then absolutely fair enough.

I've had a couple of pisstakers unfortunately. But they've all been only prospective new clients (through an online platform). E.g. being pissed off that no, I'm not available to give injections 12 hours apart at 9am and 9pm if they don't request that in the first few messages. I have enough customers and good reviews, so I can turn down rude people.
Thankfully all my regular clients treat me respectfully, and like you, do indeed offer to pay me more for extras.

Edit: one prospective client wanted me to visit after 10pm because her cat's feeder would need resetting 🙄 also had one whose cat had to be let out in between visits, but they had no cat flap, and the cat wouldn't come back for me (or indeed her previous cat sitter) - so I could I visit again a few hours later to let the cat in? FML 🤦 binned that one off.

Is that true? Google says they won’t. Will they want boil sweet potatoes and chop up veg for dog?

Of course they will, only a really crap kennels wouldn’t provide the dogs usual food.

She’s blindsided you, she knew you would have said no if she had told you weeks ago.

Stick to your no, she will find someone else.

I’m not autistic and don’t have sensory issues and I wouldn’t do it either!

You think it’s fine, it’s not fine for OP as a vegetarian who is autistic and has sensory issues.

She failed to explain properly because she knows it’s a massive ask and you’d say no. And like @BuildbyNumbere says she will have trouble finding a kennel doing that.

And as if it wasn’t bad enough, it’s at your house and she presumably wants you to keep raw meat in your fridge? As a vegetarian that’s a hard no there.

And someone said you’ll have a few dog free hours if you keep the appointment at the groomers? Erm, that’s not really how it works? That’s more work, not less!

In which case asking you to do a specific raw diet and attend grooming appointments is taking the piss! You are within your rights to say no.

I cant evem stomach canned dog food let alone raw. 🤢🤮

Could they or you ask someone else to feed him and you do the rest? Apart from.thw grooming appointment, that seems OTT

I mostly work with dogs, not cats! And I probably wouldn't go straight to cancellation but I would put up the price. I have a contract with clients that details what we've agreed on in terms of how I care for their pet, and they can't just make changes to that without getting my agreement.

Saying that, I've never had a client try it on. People who are willing to pay the going rate for a professional petsitter really just care about their pet being okay and wouldn't mess the sitter around in case it jeopardised that.

Grooming appt is a cheeky ask

Hi op. I'm autistic too. No way would I be prepared or able to do the meal prep. I don't think some posters in support of going along with it get the sensory issues around this.

The dog groomer appointment is a piss take. I'm really surprised she thought that was a reasonable ask.

Do you think she waited this long because she knew you wouldn't want to do it but hopes you might be emotionally blackmailed into it at this late stage?
I hope she doesn't try. How did she take it? Is she trying to sort alternative care or is she trying to guilt trip you into doing what she wants you to do?
If there is not much time she may struggle to find somewhere that will accommodate her requirements and she may be back trying to talk you into it. Like most have said you are absolutely in the right to say this won't work for you. Stick with what you are happy to do and let her compromise or find another solution.

That’s ridiculous and I can’t see a kennel doing that either.

I think the food issue is fine, my puppy had endless diarrhoea on kibble (I was swayed by the offers!) but we usually feed raw. When they went into kennels, we made up freezer bags of the raw stuff so it could just be tipped out. Would you cope with that? Making a grooming appointment is dead cheeky!

Definitely not unreasonable for the level of request they're putting in at such a short notice. They should have at least mentioned that they changed the diet weeks ago. Don't feel bad for letting them down, they changed the agreement conditions. I would never spring something like this on a vegetarian friend, especially if I knew they had a problem with smels and textures. Not fair to you. Good you backed up.

She obviously should have told you about the change to his diet well in advance, if she's expecting you to do anything complicated, and the grooming appointment is just silly. She should reschedule that. However, I do think that if I'd committed to caring for the dog, I'd try to find a way that I could still do that this time, minus the trip to the groomer. I don't see why his food can't be premixed and stored in the fridge or freezer. If she won't budge on that point and it's just too complicated, she'll have to find another solution.

I'm a paid pet sitter (mostly cats, no dogs). If the owner suddenly told me, after confirming the booking and payment, that the cat now had a special diet that would take 4 times as long to prepare, and I was to take the cat to the vet for vaccinations (i.e. an appt that can definitely wait a few weeks), I'd cancel the booking.

No way they should expect you to do all that without previous agreement.

I work as a petsitter and I've never been asked to take a dog to the groomers while the owners are away! I mean, I would probably do it if the dog was a regular and comfortable about it, but I would expect to be asked, not told! Have they paid for the groom in advance or are they expecting you to pay?

They are saving a bit of money by you doing this favour for them. If they want someone to take care of their dog in exactly the way they demand, they need to pay for that. I don't think you're being unreasonable at all!

The grooming appt is taking massive advantage. She can take her own dog when she’s back