Shall I "tittle tattle" or not

"Tittle tattle"?! Are you 5? 🙄Why would you not report your sister for abusing your mother...

Why not use it as leverage instead?!

‘Hey nasty old sister if you don’t stop all this we are going to report your lump sum in x bank account!’

Is your mum self funding her care?

Hmmm I’m not sure I buy OP’s version of things. Not wanting your mum to go into a care home could well be out of love for your mum and willingness to do the caring, while other siblings care less and want to be free of the burden. Seems the mum trusted the other sister most as she made her LPA. Leaving her inheritance in her Mums name could be out of concern for her mum and thinking she may need it in the end. And the benefits mentioned that she is claiming are not reliant in savings I believe. Sounds like the other sister is doing the majority of the care too….. yet these siblings who took their inheritance, wanted to put their mum in care, now don’t do much of the care, also want to report the sister who is doing most of it and was trusted by her mum, for benefit fraud, despite lacking evidence that that is what is happening,,,,,,, not sure where our sympathies should lie here…..

Unless your mother has lots of savings, this money will eventually be used for her care home fees. Have you seen your mother's will? Will your sister inherit £20k before the rest of the estate is split or will everything be shared equally? I don't agree with benefit fraud but think perhaps your sister has not planned this very well. I would be most worried that she wasn't acting in your DM's best interests.

Who is your mums executor for her will?

Surely the money should be used towards her care now. Your sister was squirrelling it away to keep it out of the estate or assets - whether with your mums consent or not.

I don’t think anyone can prove it was your sister’s to use for her own benefit right now, so ‘reporting’ her is pointless. Or do you mean she colluded with your mum beforehand in deprivation of assets? If so you need to tell social services about it.

Too late

her mother has lost capacity to authorise this

Obviously the OP has to have enough evidence and know that the money actually belongs to her sister……that goes without saying ! 🤷‍♀️

For your mum’s sake I would tell
your sister you know and then threaten to report her unless she gives up the POA in favour of you and your brother (or all three of you) and removes the money from the account. And make sure she is not the sole executor as well. It doesn't sound like she is looking after your mother well and this is a way to make sure your mother gets the right care.

I would be doing my best to be added as POA so she can’t swindle you out of money. She sounds wily.

Fraud is a crime.

Decide whether you want to report a crime or ignore.

If she’s committing benefit fraud, I’d be wary of any other dodgy dealings, with her being the one who holds the power of attorney. And, yes, I think you should report her.

PIP isn't means tested so she could be a billionaire and still claim.

If the bank account is in your mum's name then legally the money belongs to her. Your sister saying it's her money, well that's up for debate and there's no proof.

So I wouldn't bother telling the DWP she's cheating benefits. But I would stand by the fact that if it's in your mum's name it's hers, and your sister can say what she wants but it doesn't make it true.

This!! No way to prove it’s hers. The care home will assume it your mothers ans will form part of her estate

Please report.

Now isn't the time to report the money - that's when your mum is running out, or after she dies and your sister tries to hide it from the estate division. ATM she's doing nothing wrong as it's your mums money sat in your mums account. There's only an issue when your sister tries to deprive your mum or her estate of it

If she's actively not acting in your mums best interests in terms of not purchasing things she needs then you could try and have her removed as POA. It's not an easy process though

Pause

How will the OP prove this? It is a bank account on her mother’s name

you do realise it will form part of her inheritance and be split 3 ways in all likelihood op

A taxpayer wouldn’t be of the same opinion….report her, if she goes no contact all the better, she would be of no loss, it’s benefit fraud and ALL who are doing it should be reported, why should innocent people be working and paying taxes that go towards people like this, I don’t want any portion of my hard earned money ( taxes) to go towards funding criminals lives

How on earth would you even prove it was your sister’s.

My brother wants to contact the DWP or OPG about her, while I still don't want to cause any trouble.

Uou specifically told your brother because you knew this would be his reaction. So yes, you did want o cause trouble.

4 adults, none of whom remotely come across as pleasant.

Your mother has a degenerative condition, confined to a care home for the rest of her life.

And the focus of one of her children is getting one over her other child, and causing very serious issues for her.

Your mother agreed to it.

It is wrong but seems a bizarre and mean focus at this time

Surely it will look like that money is your mum’s so will be used for her care costs? If you try to give it to your sister, won’t it look like you’re trying to give away your mums money so she qualifies for support? Does your sister have proof it’s hers? Are you sure it definitely is hers?

I'd leave her to it. Either it'll be spent on care home fees or split between the 3 of you in the inheritance.
I would just keep an eye on bank balances to make sure your sister isn't spending any of the money on herself.

PIP isn't means tested so that doesn't affect it.

That’s what I was thinking. It’s a mess. Is this money being included in OP’s mum’s assessment as to whether she has to self fund her care? Is it going to get spent? Then is the sister going to try and get £20k extra inheritance from eg the house sale, as a way to compensate?