To not go to engagement party because I’m jealous?

You and this other girl are both 22?! You're talking like a 40+ year old, all this domestic stuff. Dump this guy ("partner", give me strength) and live the carefree life of a 22 year old. There's time to get bogged down with all this worrying about mortgages and deposits etc

You do sound jealous and bitter. I can understand why. She isn't yhe issue, your dissatisfaction with your own life is the problem .
Your boyfriend isn't the man for you.

You're young don't settle for him just because you want a baby.

The decision making part of your brain won't be fully developed for another three years.
There's a whole world out there, go and live life and have an amazing time.
Forget the boyfriend and his relatives, he's irrelevant, nasty, and wants different things in life to you, on a basic, fundamental level.

Don't settle for being just a girlfriend to some bloke who calls you a 'miserable bitch'.
Life is for enjoying.

its understandable why you are upset and we all were there believe me. However the name calling from your partner was really really off and it would be your main problem. Add the fact that he is saying about not believing in marriage….
It’s not a relationship to be in so I would ditch him to protect my mental health.
I might go to the party though to enjoy free food and drinks.

Your 22!
Would egg freezing not be a better option at this point and its also cheaper then IVF and also doesn't tie you to a partner who seems to have different wants then you?

As for not seeing a baby I'm sorry for your fertility issues but your not going to be able to avoid babies and this is your partners nephew/niece.

Aww I feel for you. You're not a vicious bitch. Your feelings are entirely natural in the circumstances. I agree you shouldn't go. Come up with an excuse. However you must try to focus on what you have, rather than what you don't have. As for that snide facebook remark, many people would choose the Lake District over Bali. Perhaps you could suggest that to her? More to the point is your partner's attitude. He's not exactly supportive. Try to work this out. Are you really in love with a man like him, or are you just in a hurry to conceive before your chances diminish? I think the two of you need to have a talk. You're very young and have every chance of finding someone else. I wish you every luck with having a baby, but a condition should be that he marries you first.

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You are coming across as being very immature OP

Leaving your rant about them aside…why have you “settled” at 22 with someone who will never marry you? What are you doing to improve your finances etc. stop focusing on having a baby…it doesn’t define life!

YABU but only because of your life choices generally.
There’s no need to be flogging your guts out working to save up for IVF with a man that won’t marry you and calls you a bitch an any age, but certainly not at 22! You’re barely out of your teens!!!
This is a really weird place to have found yourself and you just to need to realise that now and break free. Go and live, travel, meet new people, try different jobs even, certainly free yourself of this relationship and just live!!!!
There’s so much time to have babies later, whatever your condition is. Most women probably won’t even know they had this condition until they start trying to have children in their thirties.
I feel really strongly you are sleepwalking into an unfulfilling and unhappy life and you can actually see yourself doing it and you’re doing it anyway!! This is mad, just stop.

If you want to get married don’t waste your time on a man who doesn’t. Why would you want a baby with him when he won’t marry you?

Are you not eligible for IVF on the NHS?

On this woman, nothing she has takes anything away from you. There isn’t a limit to how many engagements can take place a year or how many babies can be born.

Their engagement has highlighted that you want marriage and won’t get it with your current partner. You’ve got some decisions to make because your life as it is right now isn’t making you happy.

Well, your partner's answer wasn't ideal so you might want to consider if he is the right person for you for the rest of your life. You change so much between 18 and 22 and then 30 and 40... Only you know what would be best for you as regards him.

However, you do need to come to terms with the fact that some people seem to live charmed lives with everything handed to them on a plate, and the rest of us have to graft.

Maybe some therapy would help you to come to terms with that and help you "live your best life" going forward?

My partner says he doesn’t believe in marriage

This is the bit that sticks out for me - OP, this is not the right man for you. The right man will share all of your values, wants, hopes, dreams and will be falling over himself to marry you.

I know the “you’re so young!” thing can be patronising to be on the receiving end of, but really you are so young and have so much life ahead of you. Please don’t settle with this man. Live in another city, travel, try different careers, different men! It’s so so so important to have life experiences.

Never in my life have I been called a bitch, miserable or otherwise.

He won't marry you, he insults you.

Why are you with him?

Don't you honestly think that you can do better?

At best your “partner” sounds a bit thick.

Time to cut him loose and go and live the life you want. You don’t need to have private IVF at 22

Sorry to add to the long list of posters telling you your boyfriend isn’t good enough - but calling you a miserable bitch is horrible. He could have chosen to build you up - talk about your futures, how much he loves you etc, instead he chose to call you names.

IVF can be very tough and a bit of a marathon, you have to have each others backs. Does he? Because it doesn’t look like it.

But the woman’s response to your holiday picture was snide and immature - all she had to do was wish you well. It doesn’t reflect well on her.

22 is still so very young to have a baby. There's still plenty of time! You can meet the right person. Do you really want her as your sister in law?

What are your goals other than fertility treatment?

How are you aiming to improve your situation?

Find yourself a nice wealthy man who can pay for IVF, marry you, and treat you well. This guy is not what you want and it will get worse. Or at the very least get a civil partnership so you are protected in this not great relationship.

If you want to get married so bad, then maybe you should find someone who wants to marry you rather than call you a miserable bitch?

This is entirely within your power to change.

I agree with PP

You're really focused on your goals and that's great, but it's stopping you seeing what's right infront of you

Which is that you shouldn't be in a relationship with someone who doesn't empathise with your (perfectly normal) feelings

You shouldn't be in a relationship with someone who calls you nasty names

You shouldn't be planning a baby with someone who will never marry you

Sorry that's not what you asked, but that's the reality

Also he is a huge hypocrite: he can't have it both ways - not believing in marriage / thinking its a waste of time, and also believing that you should go out of your way to celebrate someone else's marriage even when they're not very nice to you

Ditch them all. I think it’s best for everyone that you don’t go. It’s probably situational but right now you don’t sound like a very nice person. Nor do the others around you.

Maybe once you’ve ditched them, this will change.

It’s not your her fault she’s sucessful, it that her parents are rich, or that she fell pregnant, nor is it her partners fault. They have done very little wrong .. your anger is pointing in the wrong direction

You have every right to be angry at your partner, using awful names. Do you talk about his brother & partner often? It is his brother, and you are most likely upsetting him if you are being unkind about them.

You need to learn to manage your jealousy, you are only 22, you are likely to meet lots of people in life who have “better” lives than you.. it’s just part of life.

I’m at the stage now where I would be thinking “how do I use this for myself” .. can I get a cheap holiday? Lovely day at a posh hotel? Etc

As often happens the first reply nails it, you are 22 why settle with a man who calls you a miserable bitch?
I actually think that’s much worse than what this woman has done.

She didn't "get everything handed to her on a plate". Except for help with a deposit, which seems strange considering her alleged income. She has made different choices than you and presumably has some sort of talent/charisma which enables her to run a lucrative social media business.

It seems like there is an issue with your partners parents, why don't they give your partner a similar deposit?

Jealousy won't help you.

Maybe put off TTC for a while and concentrate on your own career.

Don't rush into having a baby with a man who calls you a bitch and won't marry you because you are worried about fertility issues. Have you got access to the savings? I would be getting your money safe, dumping the boyfriend, and take some time to focus on yourself. Don't settle at such a young age.