To not go to engagement party because I’m jealous?

she replied “Looks lovely but it’s no Bali!”

That would be it for me, no way. She’s a bitch.

But please don’t stay with any man who calls you a bitch op!!

Take your half of the IVF money and travel, do something with your life. Maybe you’ll meet someone nice and be able to have a baby much easier with them. Don’t get tied to this man and his shitty family.

If it had been him that flatly refused to go to her sister's engagement party because he was jealous of their money and good fortune and she called him a miserable bugger or a miserable bastard, would you police her language and strong recommend that he leaves her?

The OP is being a bit of a miserable bitch about it, she admits it herself. In fact she describes herself as a 'vicious' bitch. She's said nothing to suggest he's abusive generally, he's clearly just frustrated with her feeling bitter and sorry for herself on this particular matter when it's his family she's so resentful of. It's hardly grounds to suggest she throws away a four year relationship is it?

I wouldn't go either . You know its going to upset you so best avoiding.
But longterm for your mental health get rid of social media . It just makes you compare everything all the time.
Also at 22 you dont need to stress about being married .

You cannot possibly think that your baby deserves a father who would call their mother a bitter, miserable bitch. If this is how he treats you now, what could the future possibly hold except disrespect and unkindness. Being a parent is hard. IVF is harder. You need and deserve a partner who loves, respects and supports you. This guy is not it.

You are 22 - plenty of time to get married, save money and have a baby.

But if you stay with your current partner your 20s and 30s will flash by and you will look back with regret at all the time you wasted with a man who talked abusively to you and didn’t believe in marriage.

If you dump him now, you get the added bonus of not having to attend the engagement party!

Your partner doesn't sound supportive to be honest and it doesn't sound like you fit in with this family. It sounds toxic, and it won't get any better. Do you really want to marry into that and have your children be cousins to their children? You are only 22, go out and live a little, meet someone else and have children/get married in the future. I understand the pressures of your fertility, but dont have children with the wrong person for that reason.

She sounds insufferable! I wouldn’t go either.

Your partners right. Focus on yourselves.

He’s not your person. Move on.

Just dont have anything to do with them. But build your own life because the only person jealousy will affect is you. Of you go round resenting everybody who has more than you your life will be ruined..Do what's right for you and if people are condescending or nasty to you then drop them

You have far too much time on your hands to be thinking about someone else’s relationship, seriously think if you are with the right man or you are clinging on as you think it’s your only option for a baby.

The issue is your boyfriend calling you a miserable bitch and engagement rings wouldn't be an issue anymore. I'd be leaving him.

It’s all a bit mad really

he’s called me a miserable bitch

That's horrible. Don't spend any more of your time, money and hopes with a man who calls you names. You need to expect and demand better for yourself.

As with many MN posts, the thread topic is a red herring. You are jealous of the things you see someone else having, I get that. You can fix that by ignoring her SM and changing your attitude to the whole thing, except you can't, because you're so unhappy, and one great big fat reason for that is being saddled with a man who calls you names. If namecalling is one of your norms, then that's the tip of a really toxic iceberg.

It's not about her. It's about you and the issues you have closer to home.

I can’t help but feel like she gets everything handed to her on a plate, everything I’ve been denied.

So the difference is 40k which they received from parents on both sides. The rest they build/achieved themselves. What prevents you from building career / business to allow you to WFH and earn sufficiently to fund desired lifestyle? she did it, why can't you?

Calling you names is not on, but you do seem to be miserable. If they trigger you that much now then you should reconsider your relationship

Your jealousy will consume you over time and you will become a bitter and toxic woman.

Either get counselling for your jealousy or split up with him
before your feelings overspill into hateful words and actions and you cause trouble for your partner and his family.

This is kind of me.

At first I knew my DP wasn't interested in actually getting married (we did get engaged but neither were asked the big question). He found his dad's leaving letter to his mum so his experience of marriage isn't a good one.

I told him earlier this year that I did want to become Mrs as it's what I've always wanted. I would be number one. I would be someone's number one and they love me that much that they want me to be their Mrs.
I'd be happy with a low-key civil partnership, I don't need a lavish affair.

Now he says he has wants to be more stable ie,; we're in temporary accommodation so he wants us to be in our forever home and settled there.
I said if we wait for something we could be waiting years still.

But on the other hand I also think, do I really want to be married to this person who has never really made the changes he said he would whenever we have 'broken up'?
A person who drains my energy often.
Doesn't try to enrich his life or raise his vibrations.
Doesn't really make me feel special very much.

We seem to have this cycle.

But then I love his face, he makes me laugh. He's not a bad dad (not a great one either but I have faults too).
In the past he's been there for me when I've been depressed and really tried to understand perimenopause (how many of us can say that??).

Just ugh

This

Oh dear. Well you are being a 'miserable bitch and bitter' but absolutely and totally understandably! It would be nice if your partner saw that and supported and helped you. It must be completely heart-breaking watching her have and do all those wonderful things. Totally, totally understand your feelings, especially if she is a bit bitchy rather than supportive and the history from school.

You are very young though, is he and his extended family really the person and people you want to go through all this, through life, with?

Your partner is not the right person for you. Leave him and find someone you are more suited to or you'll have a lifetime of similar disappointments and being called a miserable bitch.

You are SO YOUNG. You have years to try for a baby and you may not even need IVF.

Comparison is the thief of joy. You're fixated on this woman because (a) she was horrible to you at school and (b) she is getting from your boyfriend's brother what your boyfriend won't give to you. Honestly in a couple of years, when you've been out there dating, travelling and having fun you might see her in a different light. She's saddled with a baby at 22 and her career is a "social media business". Do you mean an influencer? That sounds rather transient ...

Get yourself gone (make sure you take everything you've put into the IVF fund) and claim a better life for yourself.

Some of these replies are pretty insensitive given OP has stated she has a fertility condition which will only get worse with age. That's a pretty big reason why she might be focused on the things she is at just 22.

YANBU for jealous thoughts and feelings - they seem to be suggesting that you’re unhappy with many aspects of your current situation. Some are outside your control (family money, fertility), some you can do something about (your earnings and current relationship)

You are so young still. Change your life now while you still can. Do you really love your partner? He doesn’t sound the man for you. Stop being jealous of other people. Yes it’s an unfair world but we can’t change that. The only thing we can change is ourselves . Get up, get out and start doing what you want to do and live your life and don’t worry what other people are doing.

YABU to skip the party whilst continuing your current relationship, even when one of the couple was friends with people who bullied you at school. It’s your current partner’s sibling and fiance.

YABVU for even considering ttc when unmarried and with a man who is unlikely to ever offer marriage - and who speaks to you like that.

All of the above, and delete any crappy Facebook comments. Clearly she's lacking confidence if she feels the need to write that!