To not go to engagement party because I’m jealous?

Comparison is the thief of joy.

Raise your standards. Your partner’s not a good man and certainly wouldn’t be a good father.

Agree with what a lot of others have said, it's a new man you need. Clearly you both have different priorities and it'll only create resentment the older you get. Sorry

If you want to be married and your partner doesn't, you should reconsider the relationship. You are so young, You have your whole life ahead of you. Why stick with a man who doesn't want to be your husband?

He shouldnt have called you a bitch, but you do sound miserable & bitter.

It's an invite not a summons, if you don't want to go, don't go. Doesn't matter what the reason is.

You describe yourself as a “vicious bitch,” but what really comes across here is how bitter and shallow you’re being.

You’re comparing your entire life to someone else’s highlight reel and resenting them for circumstances they had no control over. She didn’t choose her parents’ wealth, she didn’t engineer your partner’s stance on marriage, and she certainly isn’t living her life to spite you.

Yes, it’s hard not to compare when you’re struggling, but all you’ve done here is frame her happiness as an attack on you. Her engagement, house, baby, and trips abroad aren’t “punches in the face”—they’re just her life. If you can’t separate your own self-worth from someone else’s good fortune, that says far more about you than her.

The shallow part isn’t that you want IVF, marriage, or security—that’s natural. The shallow part is reducing her whole existence to an “unfair advantage” and wallowing in jealousy instead of focusing on what you can build for yourself. Life isn’t a scoreboard, and being consumed by envy only ensures you’ll stay miserable.

If you really want to “protect your mental health,” maybe step back from obsessing over her every move and start dealing with your own resentment. Otherwise, you’ll keep poisoning your own happiness, not hers.

While I don’t agree with your parent being nasty at all, your feelings are a bit ridiculous:

they seem like work hard and have used there skills to their advantage. She created a successful business and he is getting paid to played sports so he must be some what good at it.

if you want their lifestyle go and work for it, look for opportunities!

both my kids are IVF, both my and my husband come from low skill working class families. We now own a nice house, In a nice area, we run our own business after working our way up from the bottom rung in the finance industry. we are here for the kids all the time and by the time my kids are looking at houses they will both have sizable deposits! Life is what you make it and if you want the lifestyle you need to work at it.

They are living a lifestyle very very few have at 22 in the real world. At that age Id just graduated, was totally skint and living in a bed sit with my boyfriend.

Id come off social media and get some counselling.
Comparison is the theif of joy

Get some therapy.

I agree too but I think he’s contributing to your bitterness because he doesn’t seem to be offering you the things that you want.

Money is NOT the root of all happiness and I’d put a bet on not everything being all roses in their relationship to be honest.
Go to the party, make all the right noises, and give thanks for what you have with the partner you love………..envy is not an attractive trait.

First of all - I actually agree with your DP that you are coming off as bitter and jealous. However - he has no right to call you names and you shouldn't be with someone who does this.

Secondly you are not compatible - you clearly want marriage at some point (otherwise you wouldn't be feeling jealous) and he doesn't.

First post nailed it.

He doesn't want what you want: commitment AND security for your future. I wouldn't be saving to have a child with a man who won't commit to you in this manner.

Assuming is this real! You are 22! Dump him, go travelling or train for a new job. Do something exciting

Even if it's true it doesn't have to be said in quite those terms does it?

By someone who supposedly loves Op?

If they needed to borrow/take that much money for a deposit I doubt he spent £18k on a ring

But sometimes you do need to call it out. Relationships aren’t some hall mark movie where we can behave all kinda of shitty ways and our parents have to say there there darling, poor you, here have some more chocolate, and absolutely let me damage my relationship with my family for you.

if the genders were reversed people would be calling him a selfish fucker for refusing to go.

It just feels like an extra punch in the face because my partner says he doesn’t believe in marriage even though he loves me so I’ll never get to enjoy these experiences.

You are 22. Find somebody who does believe in marriage and doesn't call you a miserable bitch.

Your jealousy isn’t about her… deep down you know that you are being a fool to get entangled with a man who doesn’t want the same things you do. Why are you planning to have a child with a man who won’t marry you? He will marry someone shortly after he ends it with you. They always do.

Raise the bar, value yourself. Leave while you still can. You are only 22 and have years of fertility left.

Google ‘sunk cost fallacy’.

Dump the boyfriend, he isn't husband material and has called you nasty names. He is also not committed to you. Not worth the effort at all.

This. I think you should go.
Get the ivf treatment on the NHS and use the money saved towards a house deposit. You're fertility won't decrease dramatically until at least another 10 years.

OP I’m 40 and I was also in a shitty relationship at 22 with a man who I wasn’t compatible with and the relationship was a bit miserable.
If I could give myself any advice to my young self it’s that I should have gotten out earlier.
My advice to anyone who is 22 is to be themselves and have fun.
Honestly youth is over before you know it.

Leave him, go and live your life. Be free of your partner and his family.
They are not the be all and end all and you deserve better x

Your partner should be the one person you can confide in.. even if op said stuff he didnt like, he should be able to talk to her without referring to her or seeing her as bitter, not everyting is about calling it out.. maybe some sympathy and reassurance might go along way instead.

This girl isn't a problem, your dh is. I also think at 22, you are putting huge expectations on yourself when you are incredibly young. Obviously this girls lifestyle isn't the norm so I'm not sure why you are comparing her lifestyle to yours. Also many women have to go back after 10 months for financial reasons. Trust me as someone who has had terrible loss regarding babies, coming home to a baby is absolutely acceptable if as you said you went through a lot to get to that point. Plus many women enjoy going back to work. It really varies. Planning ahead is pointless, you never know what lies down the tracks for your life. You are worrying about things that haven't happened yet.

Forget about all that for a moment. You are 22. Your dh not wanting to commit is an issue, and so is the name calling. The other stuff for now is not a big deal. Its something to think about

I have a 22 year old son and hes not living like this.
He has a rented home no kids good job and just enjoying being young traveling partying going out, meeting new people, doing new things.
New boyfriend every month.
Not wanting to settle down at 22 just as life is really starting.
Hes living and i love that he can.
Op stop wondering about her and live for you.
We dont know if its all what it seems behind close doors.