To not go to engagement party because I’m jealous?

Fucking hell, you’re only 22.
Ditch the twat and be happier on your own making a better life for yourself.

Has @DisappearsIntoAnOffice not returned from the office yet?
Come back and reply to the thread op.

First post nails it!

Youre not jealous of her. You want things in life that your partner will never give you. And you can see her getting them in a relationship with his brother.

Trust me if there wasn’t something missing in your relationship you wouldn’t care about any of this. You clearly want marriage and commitment and your DP does not. Also he was horrible to you.

Youre so young, keep saving and have the baby with a man who wants nothing more than to love the absolute bones off you and marry the absolute socks off you 🤣

i feel you wanted us to take away something different…but all I can focus on is that at the tender age of 22 you’re sacrificing your precious youth scrimping and saving for treatment to have a baby with a man who’s made it clear he wont ever be marrying you and has called you a miserable bitch to boot when you confide you’re (understandably) struggling with the thought of attending a persons party since it affects your well being. Wow.

It’s interesting you’ve not come back. I hope you at least see some of the replies on here.

It’s ok to feel jealous. It can cut deep when we work so hard and others seem to have everything handed to them on a plate. But comparison is the thief of joy and all that. That said, I wouldn’t want to go and be fake happy for them. Your partner is out of order calling you that.

Do you think your situation is comparable to the OP's?

But yes. if my husband suddenly called me 'a miserable bitch' in anger, it would mean that he was NOT the person I thought I'd married. It would instantly make him the kind of person I wouldn't touch with a bargepole.

Not committing to marriage at 22 is one thing and I 100% agree it is best to hold off a few years. But it’s not that he’s wanting to hold off, he just doesn’t believe in it and the OP clearly does. It’s not fair to her.

Fair enough you’d end your relationship the first time your husband called you a bitch in the heat of the moment. My husband has never called me a bitch, but I’ve called him a twat, a tosser, likely a wanker, a prob a few other choice words over 30 years of a very happy marriage, but when he royally pissed me off.

no way if I was acting like a miserable bitch if he told me I’d be like our marriage is over, kids come here, I’m out!

it’s almost laughable,

Is he leading her on, he’s clearly not promising marriage, maybe he’s quite happy to have a kid if she really wants. I can’t see what he’s leading her on about, if he promised marriage and didn’t intend it, sure that’d leading her on, but he’s not doing that. He’s telling her straight, as 22 he doesn’t want to get married,

100% this. I cannot believe the posters making excuses - along the lines of 'well, you are, aren't you? and 'you pushed him to it' - for this man calling his partner a 'miserable bitch.'

Absolutely astonishing how low the bar goes when it comes to what some people put up with in their relationships.

YABU.

She sounds awful. Your BF sounds like a dick, although he does a have a point about your behaviour. You sound worse than both of them. Until you grow up & develop the maturity to move beyond this level of nastiness & envy you aren’t ready to have a child with anyone. Dump him, move on and only think about having children when you are capable of behaving like an adult, not a teenager.

Your feelings are perfectly valid. Your partner might not be the one though

If you stay with your partner she'll be in your life together. And he calls you a miserable bitch? My DH would never ever say anything like that to me and never has. So my suggestion is to ditch your partner and focus on enjoying your life.

HRTFT but - your BIL accepted 20 grand from his parents (and his future PILs) for a house deposit....and spent 18 grand on a ring??

Don't be jealous. They may have material things, but they have no sense or decency or humility or respect, and the people closest to them won't be thinking much of them. That renders all the material things utterly meaningless, imo.

Why, at 22, you are with this horrible man, and why are you so hell bent on having a child when you can't even afford a holiday, or a decent lifestyle??

Spend you IVF savings on a deposit for a nice one bed flat for yourself. Save money and go on holiday. Live your life.

And yes, go to the engagement party. Maybe you will meet some nice people there.

The last sentence of your original post changed my mind. What a cow [her not you]. Be civil for your own self-respect in declining the invitation but don't go to her engagement party in case you accidentally spit in her eye.

You're very young for marriage and your partner isn't the right one for you

Your partner called you a bitch?

Pack your bags and leave immediately.

OP you are so so young! Do not saddle yourself with this man and his family which makes you so miserable - he is not your only ticket to a family so don’t convince yourself you don’t have options when you do! Cut loose, and go your own way, you’ll be much happier in the long run.

Then he shouldn’t also be trying for a baby! If he is old enough for that, he is old enough to get married to OP.

OP if you are infertile you will be eligible for NHS IVF. You will need to have been trying for two years if you have “unexplained” infertility, but not if you already have a clear diagnosis causing it. Have you actually been seen in an NHS infertility clinic?

Marriage and babies before 25 can absolutely work out well, but as someone with some relevant experience...I wouldn't advise it. The way my brain worked at 22 vs 25+ was night and day. You really need to just give yourself time and stop rushing.

I have no info apart from what's in the OP, what's your problem? Jesus Christ. Maybe form your own reply to her and save me the notifications. I can't be arsed with fight pickers.

You’re years too young to even consider having a child. Leave your relationship and enjoy your youth.

Great that you have such influence over your grown adult son. I’d guess, in this scenario, you’d also tell him to not lead on a young woman? And he’d totally listen to you, of course.

Great that you have such influence over your grown adult son. I’d guess, in this scenario, you’d also tell him to not lead on a young woman? And he’d totally listen to you, of course.